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The Waiter Rule: A Window to Personality

September 12, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

'The Waiter Rule,' Interpersonal Skills - How you treat a waiter can predict a lot about character

Window to An Individual’s Personality

This article in USA Today says that how one treats a waiter can predict a lot about the person’s character.

The article quotes Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson and Sara Lee CEO Brenda Barnes.

A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person. Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with. Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.

How executives treat waiters probably demonstrates how they treat their actual employees. Sitting in the chair of CEO makes me no better of a person than the forklift operator in our plant. If you treat the waiter, or a subordinate, like garbage, guess what? Are they going to give it their all? I don’t think so.

“The Waiter Rule”

'The Waiter Rule,' Interpersonal Skills---How you treat a waiter can predict a lot about character We presume each person’s influence is a function of his/her rank or title. Consequently, we may fail to treat everybody as we wish to be treated.

All of us, especially the ones from the service and hospitality industries, have our favourite stories of people who treated us with dignity: perhaps a manager who remembers her employees’ kids’ names or a fellow-passenger who helped us handle luggage on a flight. We also have our tales of people being indifferent in various contexts: perhaps a new secretary who got yelled at for mistakes by an executive-on-fast-track.

Fundamentally, the ‘Waiter Rule’ indicates that how we treat seemingly insignificant people, whether on a date or a job interview, can provide pointers to our personality and priorities.

Call for Action

Contemplate the following:

  • 'The Waiter Rule:' how you treat a waiter can predict a lot about character, Consider your own experiences when you were touched by others–their thoughtfulness or consideration. How did you return their kindness? Additionally, think about circumstances when you felt disrespected or discouraged. How did you react?
  • Now, reflect on how you treat people: your loved ones, your staff and colleagues, ushers, store attendants, and the rest of the people you interact with everyday. Do you accept who they are and accommodate their concerns? Are you generous? Do you treat them as people or as a means to an end? How can you change?

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t be Rude to Receptionists and Support Staff
  2. Avoid Control Talk
  3. Want to be more likeable? Improve your customer service? Adopt Sam Walton’s “Ten-Foot Rule”
  4. But, Excuse Me, I’m Type A: The Ultimate Humblebrag?
  5. A Trick to Help you Praise At Least Three People Every Day

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Courtesy, Likeability, Personality, Virtues

How to Accept Compliments Gracefully

December 13, 2006 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Accepting Compliments Gracefully

Consider the following experiences.

  • While disembarking from a private aircraft recently, I complimented the captain on a smooth landing. She waved her hand and replied, “Ah, that was not very smooth. This aircraft-type is new to me. I haven’t yet mastered the controls. I need more practice.”
  • A colleague presented me a book on the Toyota Production System. I had been reading about the history of Toyota and considered this gift a thoughtful gesture. I thanked my colleague. His response, “I found this book on clearance sale at the Border’s outlet store. Just $1.99.”

Accepting Compliments Gracefully: Just Say 'Thank You.'Many of us have trouble accepting compliments. We have the urge to deflect or downgrade the compliments. We do not realize that our actions draw unwanted attention. We unnecessarily belittle ourselves, as well as the people offering the compliments.

People may consider our “I don’t deserve your compliments” attitudes as signs of personal insecurity or false modesty. By failing to honor the opinions of others, we discourage them from offering affirmative feedback.

Accepting compliments positively demonstrates your self-confidence and leaves positive impressions about you. The next time somebody praises you, acknowledge the compliments enthusiastically. Instead of saying “Oh, it was nothing,” just smile and say, “Thank you. I appreciate your kindness.”

Wondering what to read next?

  1. A Trick to Help you Praise At Least Three People Every Day
  2. Want to be more likeable? Improve your customer service? Adopt Sam Walton’s “Ten-Foot Rule”
  3. But, Excuse Me, I’m Type A: The Ultimate Humblebrag?
  4. How to Increase Your Likeability: The 10/5 Rule
  5. Here’s How to Improve Your Conversational Skills

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conversations, Courtesy, Etiquette, Likeability, Personality, Social Skills

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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