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Labeling Damage

July 27, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Labels not only stereotype individuals but also limit and stifle them. Even so-called positive labels like “little miss perfect” perpetuate harmful stereotypes and can be internalized. Labels create walls around people, making it difficult for them to break free from preconceived notions.

Instead of oversimplifying people’s traits and characteristics with labels, let’s celebrate individuality by avoiding labels altogether. Let’s embrace the complexity of each person and acknowledge their unique qualities.

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  4. Stop Stigmatizing All Cultural ‘Appropriation’
  5. Beyond Mansplaining’s Veil

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Biases, Conflict, Diversity, Getting Along, Group Dynamics, Politics, Social Dynamics

Three Questions to Ensure Alignment

July 17, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When engaging in conversations with your partner, boss, or team, utilizing the following discussion framework can significantly contribute to productive discussions, cultivate shared understanding, and foster harmonious relationships:

  1. Where am I headed? What are my expectations for you?
  2. Where are you headed? What are your expectations for me?
  3. Where are we headed? How can we bring about positive change?

Before initiating the conversation, it is beneficial to reflect on your thoughts and emotions. Gain a clear understanding of what you wish to discuss and consider how to communicate your expectations while demonstrating respect and empathy effectively. This self-awareness will greatly assist you in expressing yourself with clarity.

The overlap of these three questions is where friction will come from. What’s at odds with each others’ expectations?

Identify tension points. Plan around them. Push through with open-mindedness and a willingness to find common ground.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Conflict, Conversations, Critical Thinking, Decision-Making, Getting Along, Persuasion

Beyond Mansplaining’s Veil

July 13, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

“Mansplaining,” commonly associated with a condescending and chauvinistic attitude, traditionally refers to situations where men unnecessarily and patronizingly explain things to women, often silencing their voices.

However, the term “mansplaining” has been extensively used in recent years to the point where it sometimes carries connotations of “reverse sexism.” It’s often employed without carefully considering the validity of men’s opinions, resulting in the dismissal or belittlement of their arguments. It’s worth noting that both men and women can internalize sexist beliefs and attitudes due to societal conditioning.

While it’s true that many men exhibit patronizing and rude behavior, assuming that such mannerisms are exclusively a male trait is an oversimplification. Contempt can be seen across genders; it’s a flaw that goes beyond gender boundaries. Men interrupt and talk down to each other in debates. Some individuals, regardless of gender, treat everyone with the same interrupting and condescending tone—it’s simply their communication style. Therefore, the communication issue lies in “human-splaining,” and making generalizations solely based on gender is unfair and unproductive.

Furthermore, the term “mansplaining” is often carelessly used out of frustration and anger, becoming a convenient way to dismiss any man expressing an opinion or insisting on a viewpoint during a debate.

Idea for Impact: Let’s reserve the label for situations where it’s genuinely warranted and instead focus on addressing the underlying issue of unequal valuing of men’s and women’s words. Let’s examine entitlement and the impact of patriarchal structures. Engaging in productive dialogue is far more effective than resorting to gratuitous dismissals.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Labeling Damage
  2. Racism and Identity: The Lie of Labeling
  3. Entitlement and Anger Go Together
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  5. Can’t Ban Political Talk at Work

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Biases, Conflict, Diversity, Getting Along, Listening, Social Dynamics, Workplace

Under Pressure, The Narrowing Cognitive Map: Lessons from the Tragedy of Singapore Airlines Flight 6

July 10, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Picture this: You’re parking your car when, suddenly, you catch sight of the bus you desperately need to catch pulling into the station. Acting on instinct, you swiftly navigate your car into a vacant spot, deftly gather your bags, and launch yourself towards the bus stop, driven by an unwavering determination to evade a tedious fifteen-minute wait for the next one. In the whirlwind of your frantic sprint, you absentmindedly and hastily tuck your cherished cell phone into your back pocket, oblivious that it slips out during the adrenaline-fueled pursuit of catching the bus. It’s only after another five minutes that you become aware of your cell phone’s absence, and the weight of its loss gradually descends upon you.

Isn’t it fascinating how our minds tend to close off under time pressure? This fascinating cognitive phenomenon is known as the “narrowing of the cognitive map.” It’s as if our attention becomes laser-focused, but unfortunately, that can lead us to make unfortunate errors in judgment.

When we find ourselves in the clutches of tunnel vision, our thinking becomes constrained, and we unknowingly fall into the trap of limited perspective. Not only do we become so fixated on a specific course of action that we overlook crucial details in our environment, but we also become oblivious to the subtle signals whispering, “Something’s amiss.”

Inattentional blindness, indeed. It’s a common problem in high-stress situations, and it can have serious consequences, as in the following case study of the Singapore Airlines Flight 6 crash.

Speed Stress Causes Serious Breakdowns in the Reliability of Judgment

Flight 6’s tragic case accident occurred on October 31, 2000, at Taipei’s Chiang Kai-shek International Airport. Various factors contributed to the crash, including severe weather conditions, limited visibility, inadequate airport markings, and insufficient actions taken by both the pilots and air traffic controllers.

During a scheduled stop in Taipei on its journey from Singapore to Los Angeles, Flight 6’s flight crew became aware of an approaching storm. They realized that if they delayed the takeoff, they would have to wait for the storm to pass, resulting in a lengthy 12-hour delay. This interruption would have entailed making overnight arrangements for the passengers, disrupting the crew’s schedule, and potentially impacting future flight schedules involving the aircraft and company personnel. Consequently, the crew made the decision to expedite the departure and take off before the typhoon made landfall on the island.

The Rushed Pilots Missed Clues That They Were Taking Off on a Closed Runway

Under immense time pressure, the flight crew became singularly focused on expediting their takeoff in rainy and windy conditions before the weather conditions deteriorated further. Despite being instructed to taxi to Runway 05 Left, they deviated from the assigned route and instead positioned themselves on Runway 05 Right, which was closed for takeoff due to ongoing pavement repairs.

Complicating matters, a section of Runway 05 Right was still being used as a taxiway during the construction period. The signage at the entrance of the runway did not adequately indicate the presence of a stop sign and construction equipment along the converted taxiway.

Moreover, the local air traffic controller failed to provide progressive taxi or ground movement instructions, which would have been appropriate considering the low visibility during the taxi. However, due to the crew’s heightened sense of urgency, they neglected to request step-by-step instructions for their taxi route.

Misleading Airport Markings Contributed to Pilots’ Mistaken Belief of Correct Runway Selection

In the midst of low visibility and feeling rushed, the pilots neglected crucial resources that could have guided them to the correct runway, such as runway and taxiway charts, signage, markings, and cockpit instruments. This lapse in judgment resulted in a loss of situational awareness, leading them to initiate takeoff from a runway closed for construction.

The Harsh Reality of Rushing: Examining the Aftermath of Singapore Airlines Flight 6's Closed Runway Mishap Approximately 3,300 feet down the runway, around 11:17 PM that night, the Boeing 747 collided with concrete barriers and construction equipment, resulting in the aircraft breaking apart and bursting into flames.

Tragically, 83 out of the 179 people on board lost their lives.

The crew’s loss of awareness was further compounded by the airport’s negligence in terms of maintenance and safety precautions. By failing to place mandatory construction warnings at the entrance of Runway 05 Right, they disregarded the potential risk of aircraft mistakenly attempting to take off from a partially closed runway.

The air traffic controllers also neglected to verify the aircraft’s position before granting takeoff clearances, despite the aircraft having turned onto Runway 05 Right. The airport lacked the necessary Airport Surface Detection Equipment, which could have been crucial in detecting and mitigating risks, especially given the heavy precipitation that could have hampered radar presentation at the time. In their defense, the pilots had assumed that the air traffic controllers could visually observe the aircraft, and the fact that takeoff clearance was issued just as the aircraft turned onto the taxiway gave them the impression that everything was in order.

Anxiety Leads to Attentional Tunneling and Narrowed Field of Focus

The tragedy of Singapore Airlines Flight 6 serves as a poignant case study highlighting the dangers of tunnel vision and its ability to hinder our perspective and decision-making.

Often, seemingly minor errors, when combined with time constraints and cognitive biases, can intertwine and escalate, leading to catastrophic outcomes. Even in a highly advanced cockpit and a complex system with numerous safeguards, a chain of minor errors can transform it into a deadly trap.

The human brain is naturally inclined to seek confirmation and convince itself that it completely understands the situation at hand. When faced with contradictory information, we tend to ignore it and focus solely on our preconceived notions. Furthermore, anxiety further impairs our ability to perceive the entire situation, leaving us prone to impulsive actions rather than rational responses.

It is vital to be aware of the perils of tunnel vision. It can close our eyes to the broader context and limit our capacity to consider peripheral information. This narrowed perception can have severe consequences, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a broader perspective in decision-making.

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  2. “Fly the Aircraft First”
  3. How Stress Impairs Your Problem-Solving Capabilities: Case Study of TransAsia Flight 235
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  5. What Airline Disasters Teach About Cognitive Impairment and Decision-Making Under Stress

Filed Under: Business Stories, Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Aviation, Biases, Conflict, Decision-Making, Mindfulness, Problem Solving, Risk, Stress, Worry

The Streisand Effect: When Trying to Hide Only Makes it Shine

May 25, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In a famous episode of the beloved British sitcom Father Ted, the main character and his fellow priests embark on a protest against the airing of a film titled “The Passion of Saint Tibulus.” The movie portrays a Catholic saint disrespectfully, causing outrage among the Vatican and local bishops. However, despite the priests’ efforts, their parishioners do not heed to the boycott. To their dismay, media coverage of the priests’ pickets only amplifies the controversy, inadvertently making the film even more popular.

This comical scenario perfectly exemplifies the Streisand Effect, a phenomenon wherein attempts to suppress something end up drawing more attention to it.

The term “Streisand Effect” originated in 2003 when singer and actress Barbra Streisand sued a photographer for including an aerial photo of her Malibu home in a collection of images documenting coastal erosion. The lawsuit garnered significant attention to the photo, which had only been downloaded six times before the legal action. Suddenly, the photo went viral, accumulating millions of views and symbolizing the Streisand Effect.

A more recent example of this phenomenon occurred in 2017 when then-White House press secretary Sean Spicer attempted to quash a story about his meeting with reporters. Spicer had requested that the reporters keep the meeting private, hoping to prevent it from being reported. However, his efforts backfired spectacularly when the journalists went ahead and wrote about the meeting. During a press briefing, Spicer scolded the journalists for disregarding his wishes, inadvertently bringing even more attention to the original story. Had Spicer ignored the reporting, the story might have fizzled out quietly. Instead, it became a viral sensation, sparking numerous memes and jokes.

These examples serve as a powerful reminder to carefully consider the potential consequences before attempting to suppress or control information.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Biases, Celebrities, Confidence, Conflict, Conviction, Critical Thinking, Persuasion, Psychology

What to Do When Your Boss Steals Your Best Ideas

April 10, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Be thankful that your boss is stealing your ideas or getting credit for your work because the best way to make your boss love you is to make her look good.

It’s surprising how well this ensures a steady and trusting working relationship. So suck it up, buttercup!

Your boss’s opinion counts more than anyone else’s in your career trajectory. So the last thing you want is to put yourself in an adverse situation with your boss.

Credit for ideas is way overrated, anyway. The core of your job isn’t to sit in a cubicle and think up ideas. It’s carrying out those ideas—that’s what you’ll list on your resume—projects done, money saved, marketing campaigns led–not your bright ideas.

Don’t go over your boss’s head and protest. Your boss’s boss doesn’t pay attention to who stole whose ideas. If your boss is mean and nasty, your boss’s boss will eventually figure it out without your help.

Idea for Impact: Is it that awful that your boss takes credit for your ideas? Think of it as unselfishly donating some ideas in exchange for a good relationship with your boss.

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Filed Under: Career Development, Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conflict, Getting Along, Managing the Boss, Mindfulness, Relationships, Social Dynamics

Knowing When to Give Up: Establish ‘Kill Criteria’

March 27, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'Quit When to Walk Away' by Annie Duke (ISBN 0593422996) Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away (2022) by the professional poker player and “decision scientist” Annie Duke meditates on how you could become so wedded to some predetermined goals that you don’t reassess your ever-evolving values and priorities based on new information that you may unearth along the way.

Quitting isn’t bad, especially if you’re blindly heading toward a “fixed object goal” that’s perhaps no longer serving your values—even hurting you in some way you didn’t anticipate.

A Mental Model to Help You Cut Your Losses

Duke suggests instituting “kill criteria” in advance. Before a pursuit, ask yourself: what signals you could see in the future would tell you it’s time to quit or change course?

Before entering a marathon, for example, you could decide if the medical tent counsels that you’re hitting your physical limitations, you’d quit trying to push yourself and walk out.

In other words, every goal needs a resolute “unless” for every task, investment, and relationship. E.g., if you’re miserable at your job, you could give it three more months and pre-select some indicators that would tell you if things haven’t improved even after you’ve increased your efforts.

Idea for Impact: Know when to give up. Grit is great—but only for carrying on for hard things that are worthwhile. Beware of tunnel vision; don’t get so narrowly focused on a specific goal and overlook other opportunities or priorities.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Project Management Tagged With: Biases, Conflict, Critical Thinking, Decision-Making, Discipline, Mental Models, Persuasion, Thought Process

Can You Be Terminated for Out-of-Work Conduct?

March 20, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

An employee’s off-duty conduct is generally off-limits as far as employers are concerned, and an employer can’t terminate an employee for conduct outside work if that termination would amount to unlawful discrimination.

However, exceptions exist if the misconduct outside the workplace poses a serious risk to the employer’s business.

  • In employment-at-will states, employers can terminate an employee for a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason at all.
  • If an employment contract is in place, it likely outlines the specific types of conduct for which an employee can be terminated. So the rights and obligations of the employer and the employee are set contractually.

In many cases, though, no clear-cut guidelines can help determine the course of the action, especially for off-duty, private deeds with moral or political overtones that aren’t rightfully the company’s concern. However, the employer can terminate if the employer can establish a logical, if not obvious, connection between an egregious off-duty behavior having some bearing on their job (e.g., substance abuse that impairs the ability to perform work,) posing a reputational risk, damaging the employer’s interests, portrays the employer in a poor light (e.g., the employee was wearing a uniform or sporting the employer’s logo ) or is incompatible with the employee’s duty (e.g., a poorly worded social media post painting the employer or the industry in a poor light, or inciting hatred and hostility.) The devil is always in the detail.

Idea for Impact: Any out-of-hours misconduct with some sufficient or necessary association with the employment is grounds for termination. Best to know the employer’s policy on what makes up a breach of the company’s values, public position, and policies.

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Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conflict, Conversations, Feedback, Hiring & Firing, Human Resources, Performance Management

Managerial Lessons from the Show Business: Summary of Leadership from the Director’s Chair

March 13, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'Notes on Directing' by Frank Hauser (ISBN 0972425500) Notes on Directing: 130 Lessons in Leadership from the Director’s Chair (2008) explores the parallels between directing the stage and managing projects. The shared themes include ad hoc teams, one-off goals, tight time frames, limited budgets, nebulous chains of command, shared objectives, etc.

Compiled by writer Russell Reich from the notes of British stage director Frank Hauser, this tome contains 130 meditations on casting actors, rehearsing, stage-setting, supervising the production units, and handling critics.

Organized temporally from a director’s initial encounter with the play’s script to its final production, this slim volume is so much more—it’s not just for stage directors.

  • #7: “Learn to love a play you don’t particularly like. You may be asked—or may choose—to direct a play that, for any number of reasons, you don’t think is very good. In such cases it is better to focus and build on the play’s virtues than attempt to repair its inherent problems.” Idea for Impact: Focus on virtues and strengths, not weaknesses. Spend more of their time reinforcing the good performers than dealing with untrainable performers—i.e., you can never remediate grievous weaknesses. Position the person somewhere else where her talents are a better match.
  • #33: “Every scene is a chase scene. Character A wants something from Character B who doesn’t want to give it.” Idea for Impact: Productive relationships with balance and joy call for continuous concession and managing one another’s expectations. Work hard to ensure that all sides feel contented with a negotiated compromise.
  • #73: “Know your actors. Some like a lot of attention; others want to be left alone. Some like written notes; some spoken. Get to know them. It doesn’t have to take long. It’s a good investment that will pay enormous benefits later.” Idea for Impact: Embrace individualized management. No two employees are alike—their temperaments, qualifications, experiences, and backgrounds shape them into thoroughly unique people who’re persuaded, challenged, and inspired in different ways. So why treat them all the same way?

Recommendation: Read Notes on Directing. It’s a worthwhile meditation in managing people, projects, and yourself. Anyone who must get things done through people will find insightful meditations on getting to the core of the narrative, handling people with diplomacy and nuance, and navigating conflict.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Leading Teams, Managing People Tagged With: Artists, Assertiveness, Conflict, Getting Along, Negotiation, Persuasion, Relationships, Social Skills

Confirm Key Decisions in Writing

March 9, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

All human dealings are subject to intended and (largely) unintended misunderstandings and misinterpretations. In fact, when an agreement is distasteful, it’s easy to misunderstand.

Confirm oral agreements, instructions, and understandings in writing at the first chance you get. Don’t rely on just memory.

After meetings, email all the participants recording what was discussed. That way, if there’s ever a debate about what was discussed in the meeting, there is a written record to review. Do this even for phone calls if what was discussed is important. A helpful template:

I am confirming the agreement we reached at our meeting this afternoon. We decided on the following provisions: A, B, and C. Let me know as soon as possible if this information is not accurate so we can finalize this part of our negotiations. Call me to discuss any necessary changes if this doesn’t reflect your understanding.

Idea for Impact: “If it wasn’t written down, it wasn’t said.” Documenting critical decisions—your interpretation of it at least—helps avoid future fracas. If you don’t receive a written protest or correction, your account of the meeting stands accepted.

Wondering what to read next?

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  4. Why New Expatriate Managers Struggle in Asia: Confronting the ‘Top-Down’ Work Culture
  5. How to Mediate in a Dispute

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conflict, Conversations, Critical Thinking, Leadership Lessons, Negotiation, Persuasion, Problem Solving

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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