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Serve the ‘Lazy Grapefruit’

January 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to Supreme Citrus Fruits I love grapefruits, but they’re messy. Not quite as messy as eating mangos, though. Peeling a grapefruit also leaves a filmy residue on the hands that doesn’t come off easily, even with soap or hand sanitizer.

A professional chef recently coached me on suprêming a grapefruit. This method is a little time-consuming, but the results—no rind, no pith, no skin, no mess—totally worth it! The chef calls it “Serving the Lazy Grapefruit.”

Now that’s an excellent metaphor.

When you give presentations, especially when you pitch to busy executives, you should serve them the ‘lazy grapefruit.’

Too many presentations are put together like a whole grapefruit—the audience is made to go through the trouble of picking the juiciest fare themselves.

Especially so when you’re presenting to busy executives—they tend to be incredibly impatient and often have little time to weigh options. To present the ‘lazy grapefruit’ is to remove the rind and peel in your presentation from the shell of unnecessary details and then serve the kernel to them in an appealing, easily consumable, least-messy form.

Your audience will relish the clarity provided by anyone who’s made an effort to make the message straightforward.

Boil your message down to the essentials and figure out precisely what they’ll need to know and why it’s important to them, and then lay it out in an orderly and logical manner.

Elevate your presentation. It’s more difficult to make your message simpler, but it’s worth the effort.

Idea for Impact: Do the thinking so your audience doesn’t have to.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What Happens When You Talk About Too Many Goals
  2. Here’s a Tactic to Sell Change: As a Natural Progression
  3. Deliver The Punchline First
  4. How to … Prepare to Be Interviewed by The Media
  5. How You Make a Memorable Elevator Speech

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Communication, Critical Thinking, Meetings, Persuasion, Presentations, Thought Process

How You Make a Memorable Elevator Speech

September 29, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How You Make a Memorable Elevator Speech With an elevator speech, you not only have a short time to elicit someone’s interest but also the added challenge of standing out from the crowd.

Your only goal should be to say something intriguing, memorable, and unique, prompting the prospect to lean in and invite, “Wait … do tell me more.”

I’ve listened to hundreds of elevator languages, and the few that continued out are the ones that sparked a conversation. Sameness and clichés are boring—everything sounds more or less the same. If, on the proverbial elevator, one must decide between ‘different’ or ‘better,’ one would choose ‘different.’ People remember ‘different.’

So, presenting yourself in the best possible light involves saying something snappy and ditching the details. Be concise and coherent, but not vague. Appear mysterious and confident, but not arrogant.

Idea for Impact: With an elevator speech, you’ll be forgotten if you aren’t unique and memorable. Rehearse your message well and be ready to perform it flawlessly at a moment’s notice.

P.S. My elevator speech: “Hi, My name’s Nagesh. I’m an investor. I’m just like Warren Buffett, except that I deal with a lot fewer zeros than him.”

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Deliver The Punchline First
  2. Serve the ‘Lazy Grapefruit’
  3. Persuade Others to See Things Your Way: Use Aristotle’s Ethos, Logos, Pathos, and Timing
  4. Facts Alone Can’t Sell: Lessons from the Intel Pentium Integer Bug Disaster
  5. Here’s a Tactic to Sell Change: As a Natural Progression

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Communication, Critical Thinking, Marketing, Meetings, Negotiation, Persuasion, Presentations, Skills for Success

How to … Prepare to Be Interviewed by The Media

September 26, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to Prepare to Be Interviewed by The Media

I’ve never stumbled upon a media guest who’s not been unhappy with the results of an on-camera interview. Most feel they looked nervous or uncertain, bumbled over their words or didn’t get across with clarity, or the interviewer focused on the wrong stuff.

  • Rehearse and practice. Prepare for your interview by dress-rehearsing through your talking points with a colleague. Record it, review the footage, and look at your articulation and body language. Do you appear calm, coherent, and confident?
  • Television draws attention to your posture, energy, and facial expression. Keep eye contact. Focus on the person asking the questions and not on the camera. The more your eyes move around, the less trustworthy you’ll appear. Align how you look with how you want to be perceived—dress in a dark suit to appear serious, roll your sleeves up to appear hard-working, and don a polo shirt if your message is fun and informal.
  • Know your message. Before the interview begins, decide on the three key points you want to get across and stick with them. Three is easy enough to remember. It’ll prevent you from getting caught up in the conversations in your head.
  • Figure out your story. Think through the essence of what it is you need to communicate. Get your facts straight. Think about what you are trying to get across and how you can make that story relevant and understandable to your audience.
  • Restrain yourself from thinking aloud. Keep your anecdotes short; don’t overestimate the fascination your audience will have with your personal life stories.
  • Avoid verbal fillers such as “um” and “ah” that can really hurt how you come across.
  • 'The Media Training Bible' by Brad Phillips (ISBN 0988322005) Allow yourself a second to collect your thoughts and structure your answer. Resist the temptation to think of additional details as you narrate the answer. You can provide a consistent and well-reasoned answer by sticking to the details and structure you had planned for. Be concise. Do not ramble on. Keep your soundbites short and your anecdotes simple.
  • Be prepared to be interrupted and sidetracked. If you have nothing to say about something, say nothing. Better still, if you know what you’ll be interviewed for, have something substantial to say about it and say it regardless of the questions you’re asked. Use transitional phrases such as “I think the real question is …,” “What’s important here is,” or “Let me draw attention to” and redirect the conversation if necessary.

If you’re in a position that requires you to speak to the media often, take a course or get a coach who can train you on becoming an effective spokesperson. An excellent resource is Media Training Bible (2012) by media trainer Brad Phillips.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Serve the ‘Lazy Grapefruit’
  2. Facts Alone Can’t Sell: Lessons from the Intel Pentium Integer Bug Disaster
  3. Here’s a Tactic to Sell Change: As a Natural Progression
  4. The Rule of Three
  5. This Manager’s Change Initiatives Lacked Ethos, Pathos, Logos: Case Study on Aristotle’s Persuasion Framework

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Communication, Conflict, Crisis Management, Critical Thinking, Persuasion, Presentations

Deliver The Punchline First

May 12, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Deliver The Punchline First = Get to the Point

When Sergey Brin and Larry Page set about to secure early funding for Google, they initiated a presentation at Sequoia Capital, one of the world’s premier venture capital firms, with the logline “Google organizes the world’s information and makes it universally accessible.”

Most busy executives don’t want to sit through a 50-slide presentation. They don’t have the patience to wait for the punchline.

Begin with the conclusion and then go through the rest of your slide deck: your proposals, theses, assumptions, your line of thinking, and the arguments, pro and con.

Meaning, Then Details

Cognitive psychologists have argued that the brain pays more attention to the core of an idea than to its details.

According to the University of Washington molecular biologist John Medina, the human brain craves meaning before details. In Brain Rules (2014,) Medina notes, “Normally, if we don’t know the gist–the meaning–of information, we are unlikely to pay attention to its details. The brain selects meaning-laden information for further processing and leaves the rest alone.”

When listeners comprehend the overarching idea of a pitch, they’ll find it easier to synthesize and digest the information.

Begin Your Next Executive Presentation with the Final Summary Slide First

Most executives have limited willpower and suffer “decision fatigue.” Don’t overload them with less-important details before asking them to decide in your favor. Your “executive summary” slide may be the only one that will get full attention. So make it perfect!

  • Practice, practice, practice. Few people, if any, have the rhetorical ability to make a persuasive 15-second speech about their significant ideas. The best speakers are the best because they rehearse and get feedback.
  • Less is more. After getting prized facetime with executives, many talented young professionals produce large slide decks to dazzle the executives with their intelligence and ingenuity. Don’t.
  • Simplify your “executive summary” message. Perceptive executives tend to be somewhat skeptical of things that ought to be simple but have become too complicated.
  • Meaning, then detail. The brain processes meaning before detail, and the brain likes hierarchy. Start with the general idea and then present information in a structured, hierarchical approach. Make sure that each detail you communicate traces back to the core concept of your presentation.

Idea for Impact: Get to the Point

Tell busy people what they need to know upfront. Communicate like a newsperson: What’s the number one thing your audience needs to know? Say that first. Then build out from there, keeping the most essential particulars up top.

There’s another smart—if devious—benefit of putting the cart before the horse: delivering your “punchline” first can hook your audience with a compelling proposal first, and then cash in on the confirmation bias to sway them to your case.

Spy thriller novelist Graeme Shimmin offers this excellent guide to writing a killer punchline, logline, or elevator speech.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How You Make a Memorable Elevator Speech
  2. Serve the ‘Lazy Grapefruit’
  3. Persuade Others to See Things Your Way: Use Aristotle’s Ethos, Logos, Pathos, and Timing
  4. Facts Alone Can’t Sell: Lessons from the Intel Pentium Integer Bug Disaster
  5. What Happens When You Talk About Too Many Goals

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Mental Models Tagged With: Communication, Critical Thinking, Meetings, Negotiation, Persuasion, Presentations

What Most People Get Wrong About Focus

May 5, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'Choose Wonder Over Worry' by Amber Rae (ISBN 0385491743) In Choose Wonder Over Worry (2018) self-help author Amber Rae recalls novelist Elizabeth Gilbert’s interaction with a wise older lady who was helping Gilbert with her struggles as a writer:

Lady: “What are you willing to give up in order to have the life you keep saying you want?”

Gilbert: “You’re right—I need to start saying no to things I don’t want to do.”

Lady: “No, it’s much harder than that. You need to learn to start saying no to things you _do_ want to do, with the recognition that you have only one life, and you don’t have time and energy for everything.”

This anecdote is such a powerful illustration of how saying ‘no’ is so much easier when you’re clear about your priorities.

Saying 'no' is so much easier when you're clear about your priorities That’s what focus really is—saying ‘no’ to things you’d like to do so that you can free up your time to focus on the pursuits that truly matter—even tasks you have to do, even if they don’t energize and excite you.

Idea for Impact: Setting boundaries isn’t always easy, but it’s essential to establish an overall sense of well-being. Every ‘no’ is a ‘yes’ to something else.

  • Don’t find any excuse to say ‘yes’ to what shouldn’t be done.
  • Don’t find any reason to say ‘no’ to what should be done.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t Say “Yes” When You Really Want to Say “No”
  2. Here’s a Tactic to Sell Change: As a Natural Progression
  3. This Manager’s Change Initiatives Lacked Ethos, Pathos, Logos: Case Study on Aristotle’s Persuasion Framework
  4. Everything in Life Has an Opportunity Cost
  5. How to Make Others Feel They Owe You One: Reciprocity and Social Influence

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Balance, Communication, Decision-Making, Likeability, Negotiation, Persuasion, Relationships, Time Management

The Rule of Three

February 24, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Rule of Three---Persuasive Technique A familiar technique in rhetoric is to group in threes because people can hold only a few items in short-term “working” memory.

  • The Olympic motto: Faster, Higher, Stronger
  • Rights proclaimed by the Declaration of Independence: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness
  • Fire safety technique taught to children: Stop, Drop and Roll (should their clothes catch fire)

Three-part lists are particularly appealing because they suggest unity and wholeness. Lists comprising only two items seem inadequate. Lists of four or more are unlikely to be recalled entirely.

Idea for Impact: Follow the rule of three to create simple, concrete, and memorable messaging in persuasion—be it in arguing, storytelling, or advertising.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What Happens When You Talk About Too Many Goals
  2. Serve the ‘Lazy Grapefruit’
  3. How to … Prepare to Be Interviewed by The Media
  4. This Manager’s Change Initiatives Lacked Ethos, Pathos, Logos: Case Study on Aristotle’s Persuasion Framework
  5. Here’s a Tactic to Sell Change: As a Natural Progression

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Communication, Goals, Persuasion, Presentations

Checking Email in the Morning is an Excuse for Those Who Lack Direction

February 21, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

For most people, email is a window into what’s changed—what’s important and urgent. But if you open your swiftly-filling inbox first thing in the morning, you’ll find a hundred and one disruptions in the offing. It’ll be hard to settle your mind down and focus.

Don’t use email to source your morning to-do list. Responding to others’ needs and bouncing from task to task can derail you from what’s more important or more difficult—researching something, writing, planning, thinking, problem-solving, for example. Do those things first, when you’re freshest.

'Never Check Email In The Morning' by Julie Morgenstern (ISBN 0743250885) Productivity consultant Julie Morgenstern wrote a popular book about this theme: Never Check Email In The Morning (2005) prompts you to find a way to start checking mail less often. Morgenstern argues that email-free time in the morning will snowball into a productive day.

If you must check email first thing in the morning—say, when your job involves communicating with people—set a time limit and look for just those pieces of information that’ll help you forwards.

Idea for Impact: Put yourself in the driving seat; don’t let events drive you

Morgenstern addresses the underlying discipline you need for how you prepare—or fail to prepare—to address the daily influx of demands on our attention. Intentionally choose to do something that requires your single-minded attention, whether relaxing or productive.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to Email Busy People
  2. Save Yourself from Email Overload by Checking Email Just Three Times a Day
  3. How to Organize Your Inbox & Reduce Email Stress
  4. Easy Ways to Boost Your Focus & Break That Awful Multitasking Habit
  5. How to … Incorporate Exercise into Your Daily Life

Filed Under: Effective Communication Tagged With: Communication, Discipline, Email, Getting Things Done, Time Management

Each Temperament Has Its Own Language

November 18, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

From Dr. Irmgard Schlögl’s The Wisdom of the Zen Masters (1976) (she was later Ven. Myokyo-ni, Rinzai Zen Buddhist nun at the Zen Centre in London):

An elder Zen monk on his pilgrimage put up in a monastery. He came across another monk who was also on the pilgrimage. The two discovered that they had much in common, and decided next morning to continue together.

They came to a river where the ferryboat had just left. The elder took a seat to wait for its return. His new friend continued however, walking over the water.

Halfway across, he turned around and beckoned the elder to follow, “You can do it, too. Just have confidence and tread on.” The elder shook his head and stayed put.

“If you are scared, I’ll help you across. You see I can do it without much trouble.” Yet again, the elder shook his head.

The other reached the other bank of the river. He waited there until the ferry had brought the elder over. “Why did you hang back like that?” he asked.

“And what have you gained by rushing like that?” replied the elder.

“Had I known what you were like, I would not have taken up company with you.”

Wishing him farewell, the elder resumed his pilgrimage on his own.

Temperament Clashes Exist to Some Extent in Almost All Relationships Temperament clashes exist to some extent in almost all relationships. The language of camaraderie that two people share so effortlessly at some moments can unravel at others.

Sometimes each person believes they are deliberately communicating their needs and values, when indeed little gets through because each is working from different core assumptions and expectations—conveying and interpreting language, gestures, and intent differently, or seeking a different set of signals.

Idea for Impact: Each temperament has its own language.

Each of us has our own expectations of relating in an interpersonal relationship. When there are problems, don’t always attempt to “fix” them or back off and distance yourself. Simply give the other more space to be who they are. Seek to understand.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. Psychoanalyst Erich Fromm on the Art of Love and Unselfish Understanding
  3. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
  4. If You Want to Be Loved, Love
  5. A Trick to Help you Praise At Least Three People Every Day

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Attitudes, Communication, Conversations, Feedback, Getting Along, Listening, Meaning, Parables, Relationships

Avoid Blame Language

November 17, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Refrain from using the terms “always” and “never” when you’re in a disagreement.

Avoid Blame Language Making statements like “You never think about anyone but yourself” or “You always ignore how I feel!” provokes defensiveness because of the apparent exaggeration.

The actual conversation gets abstracted because the other person understandably resists the all-or-nothing argument.

Making negative judgments or proclamations about the other in extreme, absolute terms gives no wiggle room because making global attacks on their entire personality.

Idea for Impact: Try to voice your concerns in a way that focuses on your own feelings and how the other’s behavior affects you. Try “I” statements, such as “I feel neglected when you make plans without me.”

Wondering what to read next?

  1. A Trick to Help you Praise At Least Three People Every Day
  2. How to Have a Decent Discussion with Those You Love but Disagree With
  3. How to … Communicate Better with Defensive People
  4. People Feel Loved in Different Ways // Summary of Greg Chapman’s The Five Love Languages
  5. How to Be Better in a Relationship: Assume Positive Intent

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Anger, Communication, Etiquette, Feedback, Relationships, Social Skills

How to Mediate in a Dispute

October 11, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to Mediate in a Dispute

In mediation, the parties in disagreement work out a mutually acceptable solution with the help of a neutral, third party mediator.

If you’ve been called to serve as a go-between in a dispute, here’s what you can do to help promote mutual understanding and resolution:

  1. Set ground rules. Agree on how much time you’ll give to the mediation meeting. Keep the meeting close-ended. If there’re more than two parties, each with different views of a dispute, engage more than one mediator.
  2. Have each party prepare a brief summary of their positions before the mediation and send them to you, and, ideally, to each other. The brief can explain positions, rationale, and motivation. The brief can also contain each party’s summary understanding of the opposing party’s arguments and counterarguments.
  3. Insist that the each party have a clear understanding of their underlying intentions. What’s their best understanding of the basic objectives? What do they want to achieve? What’s rigid? What’s flexible? What are they willing to bargain?
  4. At the start of the mediation meeting, remind each party that mediation is a voluntary process. Your role is to help the parties reach an agreement, not to reach an agreement for them. Say, “Nothing lasting will happen unless each of you participates in the solution. Any agreement you’re able to reach must be your own.”
  5. Announce that your intention is to foster the interaction by helping each party understand one another’s perspectives and expectations. Encourage them to consider a wide range of solutions and to shun false dilemmas (“either-or” approach.) Push them to understand the other party’s underlying interests, not just their stated positions.
  6. Outline how they’ll work together during the process. Get them to agree that they’ll deal with matters in a non-confrontational way and be open-minded about what the other wants.
  7. Let each party make a preliminary presentation without interruption from the other parties. Then, encourage each party to respond directly to the other’s opening statements.
  8. If the communications break down completely, restart the mediation process by separating the parties and talking to each party separately. Go between the two rooms to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of each position and to exchange offers. Continue the interchange until you’ve helped define an agreeable compromise.
  9. Role of a Mediator In The Process Of Win-Win Negotiation When you’re talking to each party separately during a break down in the discussions, help each party hear the views of the other and identify areas of common ground for a resolution. After independent caucuses, if possible, bring the parties back together to negotiate directly.
  10. Don’t stop each party from venting their frustrations, but try to keep them under control. If there’s rambling, gently pull the conversation back. Refocus on what needs to be achieved. Encourage them to remain open to persuasion.
  11. Even with a well thought-out approach, some disagreements turn ugly. Re-focus the dialogue on the future. Remind the parties that they can’t fight over something that’s already happened, but they can set a course for going forward.
  12. If the parties come to a resolution, draft the terms of a binding agreement and have both parties review it and sign it. Make sure the parties own the resolution, because they’re the ones who’ll live with the consequences.
  13. If the parties don’t reach an agreement, help them decide whether it’d be helpful to meet again later, use a different mediator, or try other ways to resolve the issues.

These books are most helpful in negotiations, either when you’re the mediator or one of the parties in conflict: Roger Fisher et al’s Getting to Yes (1991, 2011; my summary) and Kerry Patterson et al’s Crucial Conversations (2011.)

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to Have a Decent Discussion with Those You Love but Disagree With
  2. The #1 Learning from Sun Tzu’s Art of War: Avoid Battle
  3. Making the Nuances Count in Decisions
  4. Become a Smart, Restrained Communicator Like Benjamin Franklin
  5. Why Your Partner May Be Lying

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Communication, Conflict, Conversations, Getting Along, Negotiation, Persuasion, Social Skills

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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