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Balance

3 Ways to … Stay Calm Under Immense Pressure

October 20, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Under intense pressure, our patterns of thought, judgment, and action can prove remarkably maladaptive. Here’s how to keep what’s already bad from worsening, stem the contingency, and take charge of dreadful circumstances.

  1. Be clear about what you need to do. Don’t over-optimize every variable. People who get stuff done under pressure precisely understand what they want. And they’re selective about when they push themselves to the max—only when the stakes are big enough and when the pressure is entirely justified.
  2. Do a threat assessment. Beware, pressure can narrow the cognitive map and blind you to become fixated on one line of thought. Keep an eye on all critical parameters and maintain awareness of the situation across the board.
  3. Put things into perspective. Reframe priorities and values. Stress is generally sourced in the feeling of not being in control, and tuning into the uncontrollable can intensify the pressure. Consider the situation objectively and ask what’s the worst that could happen. Have a plan ready, and focus on the task—not the outcome.

Idea for Impact: Mastery is a process. Practice simulated high-stress situations, just as pilots learn to handle panel instrument malfunctions on flight simulators.

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  5. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Balance, Conflict, Emotions, Stress, Wisdom, Worry

Hooked on Feeling Needed?

September 23, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If, like many people, you just can’t say ‘no,’ consider if you’re hooked on feeling needed.

Take a hard, long look at yourself and examine if you unwittingly encourage—even need—people to come to you for every little thing.

Do you find affirmation in feeling needed? Do you try to do too much for others? Faced with an unpleasant task, do you look to turn our attention elsewhere? Do others’ interruptions offer reasons to do what you needn’t do and excuses to avoid doing what you’re supposed to do?

Idea for Impact: The greatest gift you can give those who need you is carving out time for your own critical tasks so you can be available when they really need you.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Weak Kindness & The Doormat Phenomenon: Balance Kindness with Strength
  2. What Most People Get Wrong About Focus
  3. When Giving Up Can Be Good for You
  4. Don’t Say “Yes” When You Really Want to Say “No”
  5. Everything in Life Has an Opportunity Cost

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Balance, Mindfulness, Negotiation, Procrastination, Relationships

Self-Care Isn’t Self-Indulgence, but Self-Preservation

September 15, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The notion of self-care has received some well-deserved backlash lately. The wellness and beauty industry has expropriated it. Self-care has also turned into a way of justifying indulgence for those lucky enough to afford it. (A last-minute holiday in Tahiti? “That’s self-care!”)

But self-care is determining who you are and your limits are—sometimes at the expense of others’ needs. Self-care means noticing when you’re doing more than you’re used to handling and assessing what you can do to slow down. Self-care is figuring out what enriches and soothes your body and mind and attempting to integrate it into your day or your week.

Self-care isn’t frivolous, selfish, or indulgent. It’s self-preservation. It’s merely doing what helps you put your physical, mental, and emotional health back in check.

Idea for Impact: You deserve self-care. You need it. Be kind to yourself and take those deliberate steps to make yourself feel better. Self-care might seem selfish, but putting your needs first actually allows you to interact with others more healthily.

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  3. The One Person You Deserve to Cherish
  4. How to … Quit Something You Love But Isn’t Working
  5. A Mindset Hack to Make Your Weekends More Refreshing

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Assertiveness, Balance, Discipline, Mindfulness, Time Management

To Rejuvenate Your Brain, Give it a Break

August 25, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Research suggests that once you hit a “plateau of productivity,” the number of hours you work without a break is inversely proportional to how much you’ll accomplish.

Even brief escapes such as a walk in nature or a run around the block can clear your head and rejuvenate the brain. Just leave the phone behind and seek novelty (e.g., noticing something new or taking different paths.) Engage your mind with the world instead of worrying about the work you’re supposedly taking a break from.

Downtime allows the brain to refresh the specific neural network you’ve been using, make new connections, and inspire you to fresh approaches to tasks.

Idea for Impact: Intermittent escapism can be valuable. It distracts the brain from useless worry, helps generate out-of-the-box ideas, and may even restore a sense of wonder.

Novelist Neil Gaiman said it better, “People talk about escapism as if it’s a bad thing… Once you’ve escaped and come back, the world is not the same as when you left it. You return to it with skills, weapons, and knowledge you didn’t have before. Then you are better equipped to deal with your current reality.”

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Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Decision-Making, Discipline, Mindfulness, Stress, Thought Process

The Great Resignation, The Great Awakening

July 25, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Great Resignation hasn’t been just about burnout. It’s about a “Great Awakening,” notably for many folks in middle management.

Obliged to stay in their homes during COVID, they’ve reevaluated their lives while cherishing the extra time with their families and engaging in other interests. Discussions of work-life balance came into renewed focus.

As part of this great rethink, people are unwilling to sacrifice as much for a work-life balance. Some middle managers are increasingly disinclined to take the next step in their careers because “onward and upward” isn’t as appealing as it used to be, and the price to climb the corporate ladder is too high. These people are keener on setting career paths based on their own values and definitions of success.

Not that their ambitions have changed, though. But they aren’t driving for the same things they were driving for ten years ago. But they’re reconsidering how they can keep contributing to their organizations—on their own terms. They’re willing to come to terms with “career plateauing,” unhooking from the pressure to pursue an upward path someone else has set.

They may still derive a certain sense of identity from their jobs, but they’re seeking other ways to seek a more fulfilling life. They’re no longer pushing for the more prestigious title, the broader responsibility, the bigger raise, and a larger team. Instead, they’re taking energy that had been directed primarily on goals defined by the employer and focusing it elsewhere.

Idea for Impact: As part of this great rethink, reassess your options. Set clear boundaries on your willingness to sacrifice to strike a better work-life balance. Think strategically not only about the work you enjoy but also about the life you want to lead.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. How to … Know When it’s Time to Quit Your Job
  3. The Champion Who Hated His Craft: Andre Agassi’s Raw Confession in ‘Open’
  4. Transient by Choice: Why Gen Z Is Renting More
  5. The Truth About Work-Life Balance

Filed Under: Career Development, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Assertiveness, Balance, Career Planning, Job Transitions, Work-Life

How to … Nap at Work without Sleeping

June 27, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Make nap time the new coffee break. A quick snooze boosts productivity and improves memory and problem-solving.

Bill Anthony’s The Art of Napping at Work (1999) states that a shot of shut-eye was an indispensable afternoon pick-me-up for some of history’s greatest achievers, viz., Aristotle, Eleanor Roosevelt, John D Rockefeller, Leonardo da Vinci, Lyndon B Johnson, Margaret Thatcher, Napoleon, Salvador Dalí, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill.

According to the University of California-Irvine sleep researcher Sara Mednick, you don’t want to get into a deep sleep because you need to be alert. Her Take a Nap! Change Your Life (2006) uses the term “sleep inertia” to describe the inability to shrug sleep off after a nap. This impaired state worsens as you go deeper and deeper into sleep. So the trick is to avoid getting deep sleep.

If you nap about twenty minutes, you’ll be in light sleep, which is easy to get out of. In other words, twenty minutes is long enough to reach Stage 2 sleep but short enough to ward you off from waking up groggy.

Idea for Impact: Go ahead and snooze for 20 minutes, ideally sometime between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. Step into bright light or splash your face with water if you need help regaining alertness after the alarm goes off. The post-nap energy spike can last for several hours.

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  3. How to … Make a Dreaded Chore More Fun
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  5. Ask This One Question Every Morning to Find Your Focus

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Discipline, Motivation, Productivity, Task Management, Time Management

Great Jobs are Overwhelming, and Not Everybody Wants Them

June 13, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

One of my friends, a senior executive at a Fortune 500 firm, recently said, “no, thank you” when asked if he’d like to be considered for the post of CEO of his company.

My friend is an ideal CEO candidate: he’s accomplished and well-liked, he’s about 10 years from retirement, he’s been a company “lifer,” and he’s worked hard grabbing the gold ring.

When I asked what caused this change of mind, he reflected, “At what cost, however?”

Well, his response wasn’t unexpected. A successful corporate career demands a high level of performance for sustained periods.

Ambitious professionals, especially top performers, have started to think differently about the tradeoffs of a demanding job. They’re asking questions such as “How much is enough?” and “If I get that job, what is it that I’m giving up?”

Most new CEOs are overwhelmed, disclosing that their jobs are more demanding, complex, and stressful than expected. Little wonder, then, that the average CEO’s tenure has gotten shorter over the years.

The brutal reality is that CEOs have less time than ever to prove their worth. The tolerance for mistakes and short-term underperformance has really gone down.

CEOs have to perform or perish. The CEO job is no longer a tenured role, and the ground has shifted over the decades. Several factors have made the jobs of business chiefs much more complicated than in the past. There’s immense pressure to produce consistently excellent results and keep everybody satisfied. It’s so stressful just working hard to keep the job. Then there’s the unremitting pressure of walking a tightrope; managing the conflicting interests between various stakeholders is exhausting.

CEOs’ performance must be more transparent than ever due to the never-ending demands imposed by global competition, geopolitical volatility, technological disruptions, ever-watchful regulators, increasingly engaged boards, and the specter of activist shareholders. A job with such challenges can quickly overwhelm, and CEOs end up working days, nights, and weekends in a futile attempt to pull free. They feel guilty about sacrificing precious family time for their work.

Above all, CEOs feel lonely at the top—being “where the buck stops,” they don’t have anyone to confide in. CEOs tend to isolate themselves due to the overwhelming responsibilities and the pressure to appear calm to employees.

Idea for Impact: Not everybody wishes to climb the top of the ladder. A high-pressure climate is not for everybody. Remember, burnout happens not when you work too much but when you invest emotionally in work and don’t get a commensurate return.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Truth About Work-Life Balance
  2. The Champion Who Hated His Craft: Andre Agassi’s Raw Confession in ‘Open’
  3. Busyness is a Lack of Priorities
  4. A Quick Way to De-stress: The “Four Corners Breathing” Exercise
  5. What Your Exhaustion May Be Telling You

Filed Under: Career Development, Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Assertiveness, Balance, Career Planning, Getting Ahead, Mindfulness, Stress, Time Management, Work-Life

Be Kind … To Yourself

June 6, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive (2021,) University of Texas-Austin’s Kristin Neff argues that self-acceptance and self-compassion—being good to ourselves—makes us more likely to adopt healthy behaviors.

Neff summarizes numerous studies that have suggested that self-compassion is associated with overall well-being: “The more you’re able to accept yourself, the more you’re able to make positive, healthy changes in your life.”

The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the relationship with yourself. Learn to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Put your needs on top; give yourself compassion and comfort. Listen to your restlessness. Feelings of agitation can lead to a new life of purpose. True self-awareness can help you learn what drives you, what excites you and motivates you.

Neff suggests creating moments within each day and practicing meaningful self-care. Do something nice for yourself: take a walk in the woods, meditate, play with a pet, call a friend for support, journal, or indulge in a hot bath.

Idea for Impact: Pay attention to your self-talk and speak to yourself the way you would to someone you love, “What do you need right now?” Dwell upon that question and allow an authentic answer to emerge. Then, ask, “What’s one brave decision you can make now to get unstuck and move in the direction of your goals? What’s stopping you from getting started?”

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. How to … Change Your Life When Nothing Seems to be Going Your Way
  3. Acting the Part, Change Your Life: Book Summary of Richard Wiseman’s ‘The As If Principle’
  4. Heaven and Hell: A Zen Parable on Self-Awareness
  5. I’ll Be Happy When …

Filed Under: Living the Good Life Tagged With: Attitudes, Balance, Discipline, Emotions, Mindfulness, Motivation, Resilience

Get Your Priorities Straight

May 28, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Most folks don’t take the time to write down and prioritize their values and goals. That’s the cornerstone of the all time-maximizing strategies.

Without distinct values and priorities, many people devote insufficient time to activities that support their most significant priorities.

No matter your goals, begin by thinking thoroughly about why you are engaging in any activity and what you expect to get out of it. Then be time-conscious. Match your time allocations with these top goals. Deliberately decide if you want to pursue each task required of you. Recall, too, that what you get done, and not time, in and of itself, is the best measure of success.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. Don’t Let Interruptions Hijack Your Day
  3. Zeigarnik Effect: How Incomplete Tasks Trigger Stress
  4. Let Go of Sunk Costs
  5. Ask This One Question Every Morning to Find Your Focus

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Biases, Decision-Making, Discipline, Procrastination, Task Management, Time Management

If Meditation Isn’t Working For You, Try Intermittent Silence

May 27, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Mindfulness meditation is tough. There’s no easy way around it. It can make you feel discouraged at best and miserable at worst when it doesn’t work.

If you’ve failed at trying different forms of meditation or don’t find them as calming as you hoped, try intermittent silence.

Intermittent silence is straightforward—it’s as simple as closing your eyes for 5 or 10 minutes, enveloping yourself in silence, and attending to the sounds of nature.

Intermittent silence quietens your mind. It shifts your attention from the incessant chatter in your head, disconnecting you from everything around and trying to reach a state of tranquility.

As disruptive thoughts emerge, let these thoughts pass by, acknowledging them but not engaging in them, just as you would glance at a butterfly fly around graciously. Make a deliberate effort to shift your attention away and focus on something else, e.g., a gentle breeze.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Learn to Cope When You’re Stressed
  2. A Quick Way to De-stress: The “Four Corners Breathing” Exercise
  3. How to Encourage Yourself During Tough Times
  4. The Best Breathing Exercise for Anxiety
  5. Niksen: The Dutch Art of Embracing Stillness, Doing Nothing

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Anxiety, Balance, Mindfulness, Stress, Worry

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!