Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Assertiveness

Resilience Through Rejection

By Leave a Comment

Resilience Through Rejection Early in their careers, salespeople who make more calls often outperform their peers who make fewer.

It’s not just about playing the numbers game. The real advantage comes from accelerated learning. More calls mean more chances to figure out what works and what doesn’t. They also develop techniques to handle rejection better, leading to improved success rates.

In business, the top performers aren’t necessarily the smartest. They’re the ones who consistently put themselves in tough situations and show grit. Trying and failing speeds up learning through adaptation. You’ll become more targeted and strategic, weeding out less promising leads. Grit and persistence make all the difference.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What Are You So Afraid Of? // Summary of Susan Jeffers’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’
  2. How to Turn Your Fears into Fuel
  3. How to Face Your Fear and Move Forward
  4. Fear Isn’t the Enemy—Paralysis Is
  5. A Mental Hack to Overcome Fear of Rejection

A Mental Hack to Overcome Fear of Rejection

By Leave a Comment

A Mental Hack to Overcome Fear of Rejection Afraid of rejection? Worried you’ll sound stupid, look like a loser, or face a big price for asking? So, will you decide it’s better not to ask at all?

Next time fear keeps you stuck, try this quick mental hack: tell yourself that not asking causes more suffering than facing rejection.

You can handle rejection—heck, even ten rejections—just fine. But if you keep avoiding asking, you’ll only get what life hands you. And in a world where most people go after what they want, you’ll end up with leftovers. Now that’s something to really be scared of!

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Ask For What You Want
  2. Are These 3 Key Fears Blocking Your Path to Growth?
  3. How to … Strengthen The ‘Asking Muscle’
  4. How to Turn Your Fears into Fuel
  5. Resilience Through Rejection

The Motivational Force of Hating to Lose

By Leave a Comment

The Motivational Force of Hating to Lose Success isn’t always driven by our love for winning; at times, it’s our aversion to losing that truly powers us. This ‘hating to lose’ mentality can be a remarkable motivator and educator, surpassing the pull of victory.

Think of it in this light: the fear of losing can act as the spark that ignites an unyielding determination, compelling teams to work harder, instill discipline, and persevere through life’s most formidable challenges. Over time, this tireless effort solidifies their unwavering focus on their objectives, even when faced with the harshest trials.

Idea for Impact: While the allure of victory undeniably exerts a magnetic pull, it’s the dread of defeat that complements it, injecting urgency and tenacity into your team’s endeavors.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What the Dry January Trap Shows Us About Extremes
  2. Ask This One Question Every Morning to Find Your Focus
  3. When Giving Up Can Be Good for You
  4. What Are You So Afraid Of? // Summary of Susan Jeffers’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’
  5. How to Banish Your Inner Perfectionist

Are These 3 Key Fears Blocking Your Path to Growth?

By Leave a Comment

Are 3 Key Fears Blocking Your Path to Growth? Fear can hold us back in many aspects of life, preventing us from reaching our full potential.

Among the various fears we face, three are particularly common and impactful, but easy to tackle.

  • Fear of Speaking Up: The fear of speaking up often stems from concerns about judgment, rejection, conflict, and the potential to damage relationships or appear incompetent. To overcome this fear, start by building confidence through practice in low-stakes situations. Prepare and rehearse your points thoroughly, focus on your message, and gradually take on more challenging scenarios. Remember, you can assert yourself or choose to walk away without regret.
  • Fear of Saying No: People fear saying no because they feel obligated to help others, even at their own expense. This fear stems from concerns about disappointing others and the pressure to meet expectations. Learn to say no gracefully when you’re overwhelmed or simply don’t want to, and don’t feel guilty about it.
  • Fear of Quitting: People fear quitting because it feels like failure, threatens their self-image, and conflicts with societal values of perseverance. Yet, quitting can sometimes be the most sensible choice, showing strength and wisdom. Assess the costs of continuing versus stopping, and consider the potential for growth and new opportunities that quitting might offer.

Break down each fear to better understand what holds you back from flourishing. Work with a trusted friend to rehearse and build confidence, and you’ll be better equipped to handle these fears effectively.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. A Mental Hack to Overcome Fear of Rejection
  2. Ask For What You Want
  3. You’ll Never Get a ‘Yes’ If You Never Ask
  4. How to … Strengthen The ‘Asking Muscle’
  5. Fear Isn’t the Enemy—Paralysis Is

How Smart People Undermine Their Success

By Leave a Comment

How Smart People Undermine Their Success Intelligence is a double-edged sword: sure, it’s got its perks, but sometimes it trips up even the brainiest of folks. Brainiacs may find themselves falling short of their goals due to inadvertently undermining their own efforts. Making it big in most jobs needs more than just smarts.

Bright minds often view their success as inevitable, sometimes overlooking the importance of other skills. For example, they may dismiss workplace diplomacy as an annoyance rather than recognizing its importance. No matter how tactful they are, their braininess can still put a damper on slower teammates. They get antsy dealing with processes and people who are not on their level. They might choose to work solo, thinking they can get things done faster that way. Additionally, they may be less receptive to feedback, especially when they feel confident in their approach.

Focusing solely on what you’re good at, especially if it’s brains, can backfire big time if you ignore your weak spots. Seek a caring mentor who can clue you in on how people see you, dial down that ego, and adjust your expectations—try to become the respected star of the team, not the reviled know-it-all.

If you find yourself always toning down your smarts to fit in, maybe it’s time to find a workplace where they actually dig your brainpower. Look for employers who value intellect, such as think tanks, universities, investment banking firms, law and consulting companies, and professions where they’re all about flexing those mental muscles.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Avoid Control Talk
  2. “But, Excuse Me, I’m Type A”: The Ultimate Humblebrag?
  3. Avoid Trigger Words: Own Your Words with Grace and Care
  4. Narcissism Isn’t Confidence—It’s a Crisis of Worth
  5. The Pickleball Predicament: If The CEO Wants a Match, Don’t Let It Be a Mismatch

How to … Deal with Feelings of Social Awkwardness

By Leave a Comment

How to Deal with Feelings of Social Awkwardness We’ve all experienced that fish-out-of-water feeling in social situations—it’s universal.

Whether it’s the fear of not fitting in or doubts about meeting social expectations, it happens to the best of us. Some just hide it better!

Here are some tips to navigate those awkward vibes:

  • Drop the self-criticism. Practice positive self-talk. No need to feel inadequate or inferior. Remember, these people aren’t the judges of your life!
  • Figure out why you’re feeling this way. Get to the root. Is it a new situation, your introverted nature, past bullying, or just not feeling accepted? Knowing the cause is half the battle.
  • Face those feelings head-on. Acknowledge and embrace your disappointment. Accept yourself, practice small talk, and work on being friendly. You can totally level up these social skills.
  • Start by practicing in easy settings where there’s no pressure to perform your best. Practice in comfort. Like within your trusted circle of friends and family. They’ve got your back and will cheer you on.

Idea for Impact: Overcoming social awkwardness is a gradual process. With time, practice, and a positive mindset, you can build confidence in social situations.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Avoid Trigger Words: Own Your Words with Grace and Care
  2. Avoid Control Talk
  3. Witty Comebacks and Smart Responses for Nosy People
  4. How to Be a Great Conversationalist: Ask for Stories
  5. Signs Your Helpful Hand Might Stray to Sass

The Arrogance of Success

By Leave a Comment

The Arrogance of Success: Contentment Often Leads to Stagnation Don’t look in the rearview mirror and expect that what led to past success can lead to new success. Human nature is such that we don’t like to contemplate letting go of the skills and behaviors that “got us here.” The arrogance of success is to assume that what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow. Contentment often leads to stagnation.

Have a learning mindset. After every win, be critical—even faultfinding—and try to understand what made you successful in each case with brutal self-honesty. Was it luck? Was it skill?

Idea for Impact: Let success be a brilliant teacher in the areas where weaknesses must be addressed.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The “Ashtray in the Sky” Mental Model: Idiot-Proofing by Design
  2. Turning a Minus Into a Plus … Constraints are Catalysts for Innovation
  3. Overcoming Personal Constraints is a Key to Success
  4. Van Gogh Didn’t Just Copy—He Reinvented
  5. Restless Dissatisfaction = Purposeful Innovation

Beware of Narcissists’ Reality Twists and Guilt Trips

By Leave a Comment

Beware Narcissist Guilt Trips: Recognizing Toxic Manipulation One of the tell-tale signs of narcissists is their sneaky manipulation of situations to induce feelings of guilt in romantic partners, family, teammates, and anyone in the inner circle—especially regarding behaviors they perceive as disrespectful or ungrateful.

Guilt serves as a tool for manipulation, enabling narcissists to pull your strings and get what they want. They readily distort reality, causing others to doubt their own actions and emotions. They even refuse to dish out any love or approval until others play by ‘the’ rules.

Watch out for dramatic letdowns, sneaky digs, or affection/approval that comes with strings attached. Safeguard yourself against such manipulation. Don’t let the narcissist erode your confidence in your own feelings and perceptions. Their behavior reflects their own issues, not your personal worth.

Idea for Impact: Set firm boundaries, stick up for yourself, and don’t back down, even if it means refusing further engagement when necessary.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Avoid Control Talk
  2. “But, Excuse Me, I’m Type A”: The Ultimate Humblebrag?
  3. Is The Customer Always Right?
  4. Competitive vs Cooperative Negotiation
  5. Spot the Signs, Draw the Lines

Honest Commitments: Saying ‘No’ is Kindness

By Leave a Comment

Kindness in Honesty: Saying 'No' with Integrity Saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no,’ even ‘maybe,’ is lying (Note: lying is a specific action; it requires the intent to deceive the other person.)

If you’re uncertain, you can say, “Yeah, maybe; I’ll let you know in a few days.” As opposed to “yes, I can do that” when you don’t know if that’s true.

If you’re inclined to say ‘yes’for conflict avoidance (say, when you think the other person can’t take a ‘no’ well,) you could get better at being assertive.

Sure, there’s the chance that you originally intended to follow through, but things have shifted and you may need to uncommit gracefully. But don’t make a habit of saying ‘yes’ when there’s no decent chance you can keep your commitment; it’s a burden on other people’s energy, time, and space.

Saying ‘no’—clearly and firmly when you know you can’t keep the commitment—is kindness.

Idea for Impact: Don’t say ‘yes’unless you mean ‘yes.’ Say ‘no’ when you don’t want to consent. It’s a kind thing to do. Most people appreciate sincerity and prefer others to mean what they say.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Nice Ways to Say ‘No’
  2. What Jeeves Teaches About Passive Voice as a Tool of Tact
  3. Here’s a Tactic to Sell Change: As a Natural Progression
  4. This Manager’s Change Initiatives Lacked Ethos, Pathos, Logos: Case Study on Aristotle’s Persuasion Framework
  5. Don’t Say “Yes” When You Really Want to Say “No”

Ask For What You Want

By Leave a Comment

Ask and Receive: Unlocking Possibilities Through Asking for Help Don’t just sit around twiddling your thumbs, waiting for the good stuff to fall in your lap. Open your mouth, and you might just catch what you’re aiming for.

There’s no shame in reaching out for a hand. If it’s all above board, and there’s something to gain without risking much, why not give it a shot?

Fear’s gonna sneak up on you, but don’t let it hold you back. Sure, you might face a few ‘no’s or some pushback, but that’s just par for the course. It’s those rejections that pave the road to that one big ‘yes’ that could change the whole game.

Winners ask for what they want. Sure, they might face a heap of rejections, but they’re also the ones more likely to snag the big wins.

Idea for Impact: As long as your ask is ethical, ask for what you want. People who hesitate to ask usually settle for far less success than they could otherwise achieve.

Don’t settle for crumbs when you could be dining at the feast.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. A Mental Hack to Overcome Fear of Rejection
  2. Are These 3 Key Fears Blocking Your Path to Growth?
  3. How to … Strengthen The ‘Asking Muscle’
  4. How to Turn Your Fears into Fuel
  5. Resilience Through Rejection