Right Attitudes

Get Everything Out of Your Head

September 9, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When there’s so much going on in your head, you’re constantly playing mental ping-pong. All those unfinished tasks can indeed affect your ability to be present with anything that you’re doing.

Sitting down to write out all the things that are weighing on your mind can boot out the clutter. Per the Zeigarnik Effect, interrupted tasks and unfinished thoughts tend to inundate you with a constant stream of reminders. Just the simple act of capturing a task can achieve a sense of completion for the moment.

Clear off your cluttered desk, pour some tea, put on some relaxing music, light a candle, mute the phone, and write down all the things you need to pay attention to. Work stuff, home stuff, kids stuff, paperwork, school stuff, friends stuff—all the stuff! Get it all out of your head.

Writing down everything that’s occupying your mind right now won’t solve your problems, but it makes them evident. This exercise makes it a lot easier to make good intuitive choices about where you should focus now and where it’s okay that you don’t focus now.

Idea for Impact: Stop what you’re doing right now and write down everything you have in your head. Not only will this exercise put in perspective all those things you need to keep track of, but also it’s a great way to reset your day.

Don’t Underestimate Others’ Willingness to Help

September 6, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The biggest barrier to generosity may not be getting people to give but people’s reluctance to ask for what they need.

Mostly, people enjoy helping (but not so much that they can get burned out by their own goodness.) They want to give and be recognized for their giving.

People can’t give when they don’t know what others need

According to the University of Michigan’s Wayne Baker, a solution to the awkwardness of asking for help is the notion of reciprocity rings (or reciprocity bulletin boards.) Boeing, Citigroup, Estee Lauder, General Motors, Google, IBM, Novartis, UPS, and others have implemented informal networking groups to facilitate asking—and giving.

In All You Have to Do Is Ask (2020,) Baker explains that these onetime or recurring networking meetings have individuals explain one by one the specific issues they’re facing. The rest of the group taps their knowledge, resources, wisdom, or networks to help the requestor. In a sense, a reciprocity ring is an expanded version of the “daily stand-up,” “daily huddle,” or “scrum meeting” that many teams use to talk over what they’re each working on and where they need help.

Wharton School’s Adam Grant popularized the concept of reciprocity rings in his book Give and Take (2014.) He argues that reciprocity rings normalize asking and giving. They build trust and relationships by creating new and fast connections where they may not exist otherwise.

A charitable mood sets in—reciprocity rings engender altruism.

Helping others without the expectation to have that help reciprocated is the foundation of altruism. A reciprocity ring cultivates an environment of giving. According to All You Have to Do Is Ask, a reciprocity ring helps people overcome their hesitations and fears about asking for help because everyone’s making a request. Baker cites research that the takers in the groups tend to give three times more than they get. Over time, people tend to make more significant requests.

Idea for Impact: Assemble an informal network and facilitate opportunities to ask for and help one another. It’s an easy and effective way to build connections and strengthen the spirit of the community.

Take a cue from Bay Area career coach Marty Nemko, who organizes his own informal reciprocity ring. Nemko’s “board of advisors” meets for an hour every month, and each person talks about a thorny personal—or professional—problem they’re facing and requests input from others.

Inspirational Quotations #909

September 5, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi

Nature is the art of God.
—Thomas Browne (English Author, Physician)

I think in our own heads we’re never all that confident. I’m not.
—Tom Wilson (American Cartoonist)

Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill. They are engines of change, windows on the world, lighthouses erected in the sea of time.
—Edwin Percy Whipple (American Literary Critic)

The past is always tense, the future perfect.
—Zadie Smith (English Novelist, Essayist)

One of the most important resources that a garden makes available for use, is the gardener’s own body. A garden gives the body the dignity of working in its own support. It is a way of rejoining the human race.
—Wendell Berry (American Author, Environmentalist)

Politics is the art of the possible, the attainable…the art of the next best.
—Otto von Bismarck (Prusso-German Statesman)

If we are a metaphor of the universe, the human couple is the metaphor par excellence, the point of intersection of all forces and the seed of all forms. The couple is time recaptured, the return to the time before time.
—Octavio Paz (Mexican Poet, Diplomat)

I am a strong believer in the tyranny, the dictatorship, the absolute authority of the writer.
—Philip Pullman (English Children’s Author, Dramatist)

The big problem is not the haves and the have-nots—it’s the give-nots.
—Arnold Glasow (American Businessman)

Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
—Henry Miller (American Novelist)

Nature yields her most profound secrets to the person who is determined to uncover them.
—Napoleon Hill (American Author)

The myths have always condemned those who “looked back.” Condemned them, whatever the paradise may have been which they were leaving. Hence this shadow over each departure from your decision.
—Dag Hammarskjold (Swedish Statesman)

Civilization is like a thin layer of ice upon a deep ocean of chaos and darkness.
—Werner Herzog (German Film Director)

Bombs and pistols do not make a revolution. The sword of revolution is sharpened on the whetting-stone of ideas.
—Bhagat Singh (Indian Revolutionary)

Can’t Ban Political Talk at Work

September 2, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When politics and social issues are increasingly divisive, workplaces find it challenging to forbid political conversation entirely from the workplace. In April, project management software company Basecamp faced uproar when trying to ban politics at work. Co-founder Jason Fried announced that Basecamp would no longer tolerate discussions around political or social issues “where the work happens,”

Today’s social and political waters are especially choppy. Sensitivities are at 11, and every discussion remotely related to politics, advocacy, or society at large quickly spins away from pleasant. You shouldn’t have to wonder if staying out of it means you’re complicit, or wading into it means you’re a target. These are difficult enough waters to navigate in life, but significantly more so at work. It’s become too much. It’s a major distraction. It saps our energy and redirects our dialog towards dark places.

Basecamp’s ban was meant to prevent distraction and souring of work relationships, but the mandate swiftly backfired. Twenty out of some 60 employees threatened to quit.

Banning Political Discussions Isn’t That Simple

I think banning political talk is a lazy way for leadership to not deal with issues like racism, misogyny, stereotyping, and contempt that may be festering among employees.

Often, when people say they want more political discussion in the workplace, they actually mean that they want more political discussion about viewpoints they want others to conform to. Workplaces with lots of political discussions are ones where most of the staff has identical socio-political leanings. Employees with divergent political leanings tend to be reticent and stay out of such talks.

It’s neither productive nor possible to not talk about politics and society at work. Companies can’t tell employees to not bring their real selves to work. People are opinionated about politics, and everyone has views and tries to defend them. Besides, politics isn’t a neatly self-contained issue that doesn’t overlap with anything else. When an employee’s attitudes aren’t in line with the company’s—or even the majority’s—attitudes, “put up or shut up” policies end up more damaging than the bickering or backlash they are intended to avoid.

Group settings are better when divergent opinions are known. An inclusive workforce must be able to embrace a diverse range of views. Conversations will come up anyway, and instead of banning these conversations and encouraging employees to take them outside of work, employers must institute protocols for airing and understanding opposing opinions and dealing with offensive behavior.

Idea for Impact: Canceling conversations about the significant issues of the day simply silences those with unpopular attitudes instead of encouraging a culture of growth.

Consensus is Dangerous

August 30, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Management books tout the importance of harmony, cohesion, and alignment with company values and practices. Comforting though they are, such goals often carry with them the assumption that unanimity is always helpful.

Indeed, like-mindedness has its benefits, viz. high morale, a sense of identity, and a vision’s execution. But an unchallenged majority can “bend reality.” Toeing the line can delude everyone into having faith in opinions that’re not true or beneficial.

I’ve talked previously about how humans have a tendency to create, maintain, and guard cliques. Life-minded groups recruit, socialize, and reward consensus while reproving dissent (consider Scientology.) People are recruited to fit with the organization, and they become even more socialized into the culture.

Influence-by-majority belief narrows the cognitive map

For the sake of consensus, people can overlook the confutation from their own senses and blindly follow the majority, whether right or wrong. In the bestselling Outliers: The Story of Success (2008,) pop sociologist Malcolm Gladwell calls attention to the cultural predisposition to maintain silence and not rock the boat:

Korean Air had more plane crashes than almost any other airline in the world for a period at the end of the 1990s. When we think of airline crashes, we think, Oh, they must have had old planes. They must have had badly trained pilots. No. What they were struggling with was a cultural legacy, that Korean culture is hierarchical. You are obliged to be deferential toward your elders and superiors in a way that would be unimaginable in the U.S.

Uniformity of thought and esprit de corps can act together to make people amenable and taciturn when they see a problem or a better option.

Idea for Impact: Making sure everyone’s on the same page can produce harmony—of the cult-like variety. Encourage dissent and counterevidence in decision-making.

Inspirational Quotations #908

August 29, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi

Everything in life is speaking, is audible, is communicating, in spite of its apparent silence.
—Pir Hazrat Vilayat Khan (Indian Sufi Mystic)

Over a period of time it’s been driven home to me that I’m not going to be the most popular writer in the world, so I’m always happy when anything in any way is accepted.
—Stephen Sondheim (American Musician)

The great man is he who does not lose his child’s-heart.
—Mencius (Chinese Philosopher, Sage)

Intelligence makes clear to us the interrelationship of means and ends. But mere thinking cannot give us a sense of the ultimate and fundamental ends. To make clear these fundamental ends and valuations and to set them fast in the emotional life of the individual, seems to me precisely the most important function which religion has to form in the social life of man.
—Albert Einstein (German-born Theoretical Physicist)

What looks like enjoyment is the sneer of contempt. That’s not a smile.
—Jack Kevorkian (American Pathologist)

Laugh and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
—Ella Wheeler Wilcox (American Poet, Journalist)

Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.
—Catherine Ponder (American Clergywoman)

Melancholy is sadness that has taken on lightness.
—Italo Calvino (Italian Novelist, Writer)

Do not give up devotional service even if there are innumerable dangers, countless insults and endless harassment. Do not become disheartened that most people in this world do not accept the message of unalloyed devotional service. Never give up your devotional service.
—Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura (Indian Hindu Religious Leader)

He who endeavors to serve, to benefit, and improve the world, is like a swimmer, who struggles against a rapid current, in a river lashed into angry waves by the wind. Often they roar over his head, often they beat him back and baffle him. Most men yield to the stress of the current. Only here and there the stout, strong heart and vigorous arms struggle on towards ultimate success.
—Albert Pike (American Masonic Scholar)

You should examine yourself daily. If you find faults, you should correct them. When you find none, you should try even harder.
—Israel Zangwill (English Writer, Political Activist)

If you make happiness your goal, then you’re not going to get to it. Philosophers have been saying it for thousands of years. The goal should be an interesting life.
—Dorothy Rowe (Australian Psychologist)

Progress is man’s ability to complicate simplicity.
—Thor Heyerdahl (Norwegian Ethnologist)

Mindfulness Can Disengage You from Others

August 28, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

This BBC article warns that mindfulness has a way of stirring people to think of themselves in more independent—not interdependent—terms:

A recent study suggests that, in some contexts, practicing mindfulness really can exaggerate some people’s selfish tendencies. With their increased inward focus, they seem to forget about others and are less willing to help those in need.

To counteract these effects, experts suggest other mindfulness techniques such as “loving-kindness meditation” (deliberately thinking about our sense of connection with others) and “mindful listening” (paying particular attention to another’s descriptions of emotional situations.)

Mindfulness is an expansive nonjudgmental awareness of one’s experiences. While mindfulness may help you get a deeper understanding of yourself and comprehend “you” and “your mind stuff” deeper, it takes deep listening, sensitivity, and empathy to learn about “others” and “you and others.” As you tune more into yourself, you should become more able to tune into others.

The original practice and philosophy of mindfulness meditation actually consist of many of these other features mentioned in the BBC article. Somehow, those notions have gotten lost in the monetization and industrialization of mindfulness in the West.

Wouldn’t You Take a Pay Cut to Get a Better Job Title?

August 27, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Venture capitalist Ben Horowitz on giving employees ego-boosting new job titles to appease them for not receiving a promotion or a pay increase:

Marc Andreessen argues that people ask for many things from a company: salary, bonus, stock options, span of control, and titles. Of those, title is by far the cheapest, so it makes sense to give the highest titles possible… If it makes people feel better, let them feel better. Titles cost nothing. Better yet, when competing for new employees with other companies, using Andreessen’s method you can always outbid the competition in at least one dimension.

Millennials tend to consider work as the defining aspect of their identity (see Horowitz’s What You Do Is Who You Are (2019.)) Job titles aren’t just descriptors of what they do but a reflection of who they are—not just service technicians at an Apple Store, but Geniuses. A self-elevating job title helps them cling to the notion that work has meaning and, consequently, their work-lives make sense.

Moreover, since they’re experiencing more of their lives online than any generation before them, millennials tend to be conscious of their personal brands on social media. Being a ‘senior numbers ninja’ rather than a mere ‘cost accountant’ offers instant branding appeal.

Idea for Impact: However superficial they sound (“bogus grandeur,” I called them previously,) a fancy title could help you land a better position further down the line. Get creative with your job title even if you have to take a hit on your expected salary—it could pay off in the long term.

We Need to Unlearn Not Being Creative

August 26, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Creativity is a fundamental tenet of being. Every idea, no matter how trivial, is a spontaneous association between established earlier ideas.

Creativity is how we think and reason. It’s how we understand and explore. Everything else—education, upbringing, social conditioning, cultural mores—confines our creativity.

The principal villain is that little voice inside our heads that holds us back because a creative activity is disruptive. Originality begets instability. Creativity takes time, effort, and courage. Being imaginative is more unpredictable than the comfort of the repetitive pattern of everyday existence.

Watch children at play. They can invent new worlds, compose new narratives, and fantasize in double-quick with an endless stream of creativity. Children don’t hold back—to them, all things are possible because they haven’t learned that some things are impossible.

In other words, children are less hindered by prior patterns of thought. They don’t judge the quality of their creations. Nor must they “save face” if others think their ideas to be stupid. They simply move on to something else.

Alas, this high level of creativity isn’t necessarily sustained throughout childhood and into adulthood. By high school, most children have their creativity gently squeezed out by those (adults, undeniably) who think more conventionally.

Idea for Impact: We adults don’t need to learn to be creative. We need to unlearn not being creative. As Albert Einstein once said, “To stimulate creativity, one must develop the childlike inclination for play.”

The Solution to a Problem Often Depends on How You State It

August 25, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Consider a family with four drivers and one car. Being a one-car family isn’t always convenient or even pleasant. Creative solutions can’t emerge if the family asks, “How could we make the car available to everybody who needs it when they need it?” If, instead, they ask, “How can we each meet our needs without using the car?” Mom can join a carpool to work. Dad can combine his trips when he runs errands once a week. The kids can ride their bikes whenever the weather favors. If the family needs to be in two places at the same time, somebody can Uber. Coordinating can be annoying, but with a bit of flexibility and communication, getting by with one car can easily be pulled off.

Defining a problem narrowly (“How can we create a better mousetrap?”) will only get you restricted answers. When you define the issue more broadly (“How can we get rid of mice?,”) you open up a whole range of possibilities.

Idea for Impact: Revisit and redefine the problem if you can’t get through the tensions inherent in conflicting expectations. The fresh perspective can open your mind to alternative interpretations.

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People can’t give when they don’t know what others need

A charitable mood sets in—reciprocity rings engender altruism.

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Banning Political Discussions Isn’t That Simple

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Influence-by-majority belief narrows the cognitive map

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