Right Attitudes

Reinvent Everyday

October 26, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

General Electric supremo Jack Welch’s advice to Indian-American investor and businessman Vivek Paul:

Every time I land in New York after an international business trip, I imagine that I’ve just been appointed chairman and that this is my first day in the role, and the guy before me was a real dud. Every time I think, “What would I do that was different than the guy before? What big changes would I make?”

When you can think about expectations from a more detached point of view, rather than an immersed point of view, you aren’t overly invested in an entrenched pattern of thinking.

A period of rest, entertainment, or exposure to an alternative environment can dissipate fixation and help you gain a fresh perspective. It makes you think big. Subconsciously, you can push yourself harder and go after bigger, loftier, harder goals.

Idea for Impact: Don’t limit yourself by past expectations.

The Right Way to End a Meeting

October 25, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Many meetings fail to produce tangible results because they lack closure.

An effective coordinator synthesizes everything she’s heard from the participants, incorporates the best of what’s been discussed, and distills all the inputs into a course of action.

A good closure sounds like this: “Let me see if I can go over the main points. Our objective is to achieve [Goal] by [Due Date.] In light of what [Emily] and [Ryan] have said and the concerns that [Mark] has raised, it seems that we agree about [PointX] and [PointY]. We must watch out for [Risk] and incorporate [Possibility] into our contingency plan. Therefore, the consensus seems to that, we proceed with [Decision]. … Have I missed anything? … Is everyone OK with this decision? … Here’s what we’ll do before the next meeting … .”

Without a concrete plan for moving forward, even the best outcomes of a meeting can languish as the initial enthusiasm and commitment fade away.

The foremost goal of a meeting organizer is to steer participants towards a decision and nail down the specific commitments, deadlines, and follow-up timetables.

There’s another key benefit of encouraging everyone’s involvement and piloting a meeting to closure. When each participant feels that their opinion has been fully considered, they are more likely to feel ownership of the group’s decision, even if it’s not the entire outcome they hoped for.

If a meeting can’t come to a decision, it’s reasonable to hold off decision-making. Still, distilling the key points, assigning ‘homework,’ and defining what’s expected of everybody before the next meeting constitutes an effective closure.

Idea for Impact: Closure is, more often than not, the missing link between meetings and impact. Steering a consensus at the end of the meeting gives a sense of closure that participants will find most valuable.

Inspirational Quotations #916

October 24, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi

The perfect normal person is rare in our civilization.
—Karen Horney (German Psychoanalyst)

Envy depreciates the genius of the great Homer.
—Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso) (Roman Poet)

It’s discouraging to make a mistake, but it’s humiliating when you find out you’re so unimportant that nobody noticed it.
—Chuck Daly (American Basketball Coach)

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.
—William Arthur Ward (American Author)

The slum is the measure of civilization.
—Jacob Riis (Danish-born American Social Reformer)

You have to laugh and cry over and over again with someone before you feel comfortable.
—Joan Rivers (American Entertainer)

I am for anything in this world that keeps the problem of finding a substitute for war in people’s minds.
—Ida Tarbell (American Investigative Journalist)

People have to learn sometimes not only how much the heart, but how much the head, can bear.
—Maria Mitchell (American Astronomer)

Students must have initiative; they should not be mere imitators. They must learn to think and act for themselves—and be free.
—Cesar Chavez (American Labor Leader)

But loneliness is as delusive a belief in the pertinence of the world as is love: in choosing to feel lonely, as in choosing to love, one carves a space next to oneself to be filled by others—a friend, a lover, a toy poodle, a violinist on the radio.
—Yiyun Li (Chinese-American Writer)

Familiarity is a magician that is cruel to beauty but kind to ugliness.
—Ouida (Maria Louise Rame) (English Novelist)

The crux of the matter is whether total war in its present form is justifiable, even when it serves a just purpose. Does it not have material and spiritual evil as its consequences which far exceed whatever good might result? When will our moralists give us an answer to this question?
—John Hersey (American Novelist, Journalist)

Here is a mental treatment guaranteed to cure every ill that flesh is heir to: sit for half an hour every night and mentally forgive everyone against whom you have any ill will or antipathy.
—Charles Fillmore (American New Thought Mystic)

No great art has ever been made without the artist having known danger.
—Rainer Maria Rilke (Austrian Poet)

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win.
—Roger Bannister (British Athlete, Neurologist)

Don’t Demonize Employees Who Raise Problems

October 21, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

One of the traps of successful leadership is being surrounded with “yes men.” Your team could hesitate to challenge your decisions, no matter how bad or mistaken they may be.

Hearing what others rally think can give you a valuable perspective. Nevertheless, it’s not really in human nature to invite others to inform you how—and why—you’re wrong. Human nature is such that we all want to hear nice things about ourselves and be reassured that we’re on the right track.

“When in doubt, keep your mouth shut,” indeed

Employees are terrified to speak up owing to the need for self-preservation. The apparent risks of speaking up are very personal and immediate, especially in comparison to some potential benefits to your organization someday. Employees impulsively play it safe.

Even if your employees are more knowledgeable, they may think twice before giving you candid feedback, especially if you’ve demonstrated tendencies of being vindictive, penalizing—even reprimanding publicly or sacking—anybody with a dissenting view.

Disciplining employees who raise problems only exacerbates the problematical frame of mind around a successful leader. It promotes the toxic culture of unquestioned power. As the American general and diplomat Colin Powell reminded in a famous speech at Sears headquarters, “The day your people stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either is a failure of leadership.”

Idea for Impact: Cultivate a culture in which psychological safety thrives.

Create a work environment where your employees aren’t afraid to speak up and express their concerns. People will stick their neck out only if they sense a low psychological threat level.

You’ll Overeat If You Get Bigger Servings

October 18, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

So many diets, so little evidence that they work. Many of the better plans boil down to basic strategies: eat lots of fruits and vegetables, stay active, and keep portions under control.

Most people have struggle with portion control

If you’re reading this article, you live in a society with too much food. Food production has become more industrialized and cheaper. Healthy food is not just more expensive than unhealthy food, but less convenient. Portion sizes have increased spectacularly in the past several decades—and that includes packaged foods in the grocery stores, meals served at restaurants, and plate sizes at home.

Dr. Brian Wansink, formerly director of the Food and Brand Lab at Cornell University and author of Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think (2001,) has shown that plate size prompts portion size. In study after study, he has found (some of his data analyses have been questioned) that the bigger the plate, the more you eat. This trend derives from an optical illusion—the same amount of food on a bigger plate seems smaller.

Whatever size of plate you choose, you’re likely to fill it. As a result, if you reduce your plates’ diameters from 12 inches to 10 inches, you’ll significantly reduce the amount of food you dish up. Besides, per Wansink, using a smaller plate gives the illusion that you’re getting more food. That’s a first step towards addressing your concerns about your health or waistline.

Visual aspects of a meal, such as portion size and plate sizes, can influence how much you eat

British food writer and food historian Bee Wilson’s brilliant First Bite: How We Learn to Eat (2015; my summary) states,

Being able to regulate the amount of food we eat according to our needs is perhaps the single most important skill when it comes to eating—and the one that we least often master. The first stage is learning to recognize whether the stomach is empty or not.

The first and most obvious step to weight loss is reducing the portion size—and thus the number of calories you eat. When you’re consuming fewer calories than the body uses, you’re likely to start losing weight.

Consider one of those “portion control plates” to help reset and reinforce in your mind what a portion size should be. Sectioned and color-coded, these plates take the guesswork out of getting nutrition from all food groups and reduce the risk of overeating.
Slow down when you eat, take time to chew and savor your food, and pause between mouthfuls. Stop when you are already full. You don’t need to eat every morsel of what’s dished out for you.
If you’re uncomfortable with not filling up your plate and risking disrespecting a host, say at a holiday party buffet, spread your portions around the plate and leave a bit of space around each food item. Your plate will look full but will have fewer calories.

Idea for Impact: Small plates help make portions look more substantial

If you’re trying to lose weight or maintain a healthy weight, keep the portions down. You certainly don’t need as much food as you think you do.

Inspirational Quotations #915

October 17, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi

Mean spirits under disappointment, like small beer in a thunderstorm, always turn sour.
—John Randolph (American Politician)

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.
—Fred Astaire (American Dancer, Singer)

Many regulations primarily protect the past, prop up privilege or prevent sensible economic choices.
—Jerry Brown (American Politician)

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.
—Arthur Wing Pinero (English Playwright)

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
—Jeannette Rankin (American Politician)

A pure style in writing results from the rejection of everything superfluous.
—Suzanne Curchod (French-Swiss Salonist, Writer)

A writer is not a confectioner, a cosmetic dealer, or an entertainer. He is a man who has signed a contract with his conscious and his sense of duty.
—Anton Chekhov (Russian Short Story Writer)

The mind of man will never be able to contemplate the being, perfections, and providence of God without meeting with inexplicable difficulties.
—Joseph Priestley (English Clergyman, Scientist)

He who sees the truth, let him proclaim it, without asking who is for it or who is against it.
—Henry George (American Economist)

One of the advantages of defeat in life—maybe the main advantage—is that it provides an excuse for change. Defeat … invariably leads to new adventures.
—James Reston

You can’t escape history, or the needs and neuroses you’ve picked up like layers and layers of tartar on your teeth.
—Charles R. Johnson (American Author)

When you fall into a man’s conversation, the first thing you should consider is, whether he has a greater inclination to hear you, or that you should hear him.
—Richard Steele (Irish Writer, Journalist)

The only people who think children are carefree are the ones who’ve forgotten their own childhood.
—Orson Scott Card (American Author)

To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives.
—Howard Zinn (American Historian, Activist)

He who endures penance and hardships for another delights in that person’s company.
—Malik Muhammad Jayasi (Indian Poet)

Seek a Fresh Pair of Eyes

October 14, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When was the last time your team stopped to ask, “Why”?

“Why are we doing this?”

“Why are we doing it that way?”

You can ask this important question about everything—in your business or life!

We humans are creatures of habit—unquestioned and unexamined. Unless you intentionally ask “why,” you’ll just do things the same way because that the default mode for how you’ve always done it, or that’s how somebody showed you.

Once you’re set in your habits, keep scrutinizing them.

The best improvement ideas often come from people who aren’t stuck in the established ways.

Encourage new hires and interns to challenge the “that’s just how things are done around here” mentality when they disagree with it. Until they’ve been housetrained, they’re the ones with the freshest perspective.

Ask them to make a note of everything that they see and doesn’t make sense. After a few weeks, when they’ve become familiar with the organization and its workflow, have them reassess their initial opinions, reflect, and report their observations. Invite them to spend time on the internet looking for how these things are done at other companies and provide suggestions for improvement.

Idea for Impact: Sometimes people are too close to things to see the truth. To get a new perspective on the status quo, seek a fresh pair of eyes.

How to Mediate in a Dispute

October 11, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In mediation, the parties in disagreement work out a mutually acceptable solution with the help of a neutral, third party mediator.

If you’ve been called to serve as a go-between in a dispute, here’s what you can do to help promote mutual understanding and resolution:

Set ground rules. Agree on how much time you’ll give to the mediation meeting. Keep the meeting close-ended. If there’re more than two parties, each with different views of a dispute, engage more than one mediator.
Have each party prepare a brief summary of their positions before the mediation and send them to you, and, ideally, to each other. The brief can explain positions, rationale, and motivation. The brief can also contain each party’s summary understanding of the opposing party’s arguments and counterarguments.
Insist that the each party have a clear understanding of their underlying intentions. What’s their best understanding of the basic objectives? What do they want to achieve? What’s rigid? What’s flexible? What are they willing to bargain?
At the start of the mediation meeting, remind each party that mediation is a voluntary process. Your role is to help the parties reach an agreement, not to reach an agreement for them. Say, “Nothing lasting will happen unless each of you participates in the solution. Any agreement you’re able to reach must be your own.”
Announce that your intention is to foster the interaction by helping each party understand one another’s perspectives and expectations. Encourage them to consider a wide range of solutions and to shun false dilemmas (“either-or” approach.) Push them to understand the other party’s underlying interests, not just their stated positions.
Outline how they’ll work together during the process. Get them to agree that they’ll deal with matters in a non-confrontational way and be open-minded about what the other wants.
Let each party make a preliminary presentation without interruption from the other parties. Then, encourage each party to respond directly to the other’s opening statements.
If the communications break down completely, restart the mediation process by separating the parties and talking to each party separately. Go between the two rooms to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of each position and to exchange offers. Continue the interchange until you’ve helped define an agreeable compromise.
When you’re talking to each party separately during a break down in the discussions, help each party hear the views of the other and identify areas of common ground for a resolution. After independent caucuses, if possible, bring the parties back together to negotiate directly.
Don’t stop each party from venting their frustrations, but try to keep them under control. If there’s rambling, gently pull the conversation back. Refocus on what needs to be achieved. Encourage them to remain open to persuasion.
Even with a well thought-out approach, some disagreements turn ugly. Re-focus the dialogue on the future. Remind the parties that they can’t fight over something that’s already happened, but they can set a course for going forward.
If the parties come to a resolution, draft the terms of a binding agreement and have both parties review it and sign it. Make sure the parties own the resolution, because they’re the ones who’ll live with the consequences.
If the parties don’t reach an agreement, help them decide whether it’d be helpful to meet again later, use a different mediator, or try other ways to resolve the issues.

These books are most helpful in negotiations, either when you’re the mediator or one of the parties in conflict: Roger Fisher et al’s Getting to Yes (1991, 2011; my summary) and Kerry Patterson et al’s Crucial Conversations (2011.)

Inspirational Quotations #914

October 10, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi

Nothing is desperately important and the joy of life is just looking at it.
—Alec Guinness (English Actor)

You can tell all you need to about a society from how it treats animals and beaches.
—Frank Deford (American Sportswriter)

Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things—with resignations, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope.
—Corazon Aquino (Filipino Stateswoman)

For your own good is a persuasive argument that will eventually make a man agree to his own destruction.
—Janet Frame (New Zealand writer)

We must not seek happiness in peace, but in conflict.
—Paul Claudel (French Author, Dramatist)

I can see that you have a complex problem: it has a real and an imaginary part.
—John Tukey (American Statistician)

Stick with your own perception of yourself—living in your own world—and letting your reality, not the reality presented by other people or particular situations, control your performance.
—John Eliot (American Psychologist)

There must be more to life than having everything.
—Maurice Sendak (American Writer, Illustrator)

The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn’t simple.
—Doris Janzen Longacre (American Author)

I have never known a trader in philanthropy who was not wrong in his head or heart, somewhere or other.
—Samuel Taylor Coleridge (English Poet)

If you spend life trying to be good at everything you will never be great at anything.
—Tom Rath (American Consultant)

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
—Ruth Graham (American Christian Author)

Words were not given to man in order to conceal his thoughts.
—Jose Saramago (Portuguese Novelist)

A successful person realizes his personal responsibility for self-motivation. He starts with himself because he possesses the key to his own ignition switch.
—Kemmons Wilson (American Entrepreneur)

Doubt is brother devil to despair.
—John Boyle O’Reilly (Irish-American Journalist)

Knowledge begets knowledge. The more I see, the more impressed I am—not with what we know—but with how tremendous the areas are as yet unexplored.
—John Glenn (American Astronaut)

Fashion should not be expected to serve in the stead of courage or character.
—Loretta Young (American Actress)

Envy is like a fly that passes all a body’s sounder parts, and dwells upon the sores.
—George Chapman (English Poet, Playwright)

The Best Way to Achieve Success is to Visualize Success

October 7, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

What athletes think about has a profound effect on how they perform—both negatively and positively. American sportswriter George Plimpton’s Sports! (1978) identifies the “self-satisfying optimism” that permeated the mind of soccer star Pelé under the stress of contest:

In the New York Cosmos’ locker room, it was Pelé’s ritual to lie on the floor with his feet elevated on a bench, one towel neatly folded under his head, another shielding his eyes. Half in, half out of his cubicle, he would begin a sort of waking dream—pleasurable scenes of playing barefoot on Brazilian beaches, playbacks of triumphs of his astonishing career that he planned to emulate. The more important the game, the longer his dream. On the occasion of the first huge crowd the Cosmos drew in New Jersey’s Meadowlands—62,394 people—he spent 25 minutes under his towel and then scored three goals against the Tampa Bay Rowdies.

Idea for Impact: Foreseeing yourself succeed helps you believe that it can happen.

Before you meet with a new sales prospect or when you’re procrastinating on any daunting task, take some time to imagine richly what you will see, taste, hear, smell, and feel once you’re successful.

Use the power of visualization to evoke the future self, who’s achieved your goals. See in your mind’s eye the finish line you’re aiming at.

Visualize what “done” looks like. Imagine the sense of achievement. Envision the relief of being finished. See the fame, rewards, accolades, awards, adulation, satisfaction you’ll receive in your mind’s eye.

Imagine taking action.

Visualize achieving your goal.

Now make it happen.

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“When in doubt, keep your mouth shut,” indeed

Idea for Impact: Cultivate a culture in which psychological safety thrives.

Wondering what to read next?

Most people have struggle with portion control

Visual aspects of a meal, such as portion size and plate sizes, can influence how much you eat

Idea for Impact: Small plates help make portions look more substantial

Wondering what to read next?

Once you’re set in your habits, keep scrutinizing them.

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?