Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions

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From the eighth-century Buddhist philosopher Śāntideva’s Bodhicaryavatara (“Entrance to the Path of Awakening,”) a translation from Stephen Batchelor’s A Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life (1979:)

Where would I possibly find enough leather
With which to cover the surface of the earth?
But just leather on the soles of my shoes
Is equivalent to covering the earth with it
 
Likewise it is not possible for me
To restrain the external course of things
But should I restrain this mind of mine
What would be the need to restrain all else?

A powerful reminder that you can’t magically make the whole world and its people run smooth and easy, but you can reorient your heart and mind to change your perspective and endure the bumps that you’ll encounter.

Idea for Impact: If something isn’t to your liking, change your liking or find something else of your liking. The willingness to adjust is perhaps the single most critical human faculty.

Wondering what to read next?

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  3. Begin with Yourself
  4. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself
  5. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be

Begin With the Least Urgent Task

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Don’t wait until something becomes urgent to do it. Most of your urgent tasks—the ones that have the menacing power to distract you now—were non-urgent once.

Becoming more alert to time and staying aware of what genuinely deserves your attention at the moment is the key to time-effectiveness.

Idea for Impact: Complete your tasks before they become urgent. You’re thus putting yourself, not the incoming flow of attention demands, in the driving seat.

This discipline of getting things done early won’t help you eliminate real emergencies. Still, on the whole, your self-inflicted crises might drop significantly, and the stress that comes with them. Your efficiency will increase, and so will your predictability and reliability.

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Checking Email in the Morning is an Excuse for Those Who Lack Direction

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For most people, email is a window into what’s changed—what’s important and urgent. But if you open your swiftly-filling inbox first thing in the morning, you’ll find a hundred and one disruptions in the offing. It’ll be hard to settle your mind down and focus.

Don’t use email to source your morning to-do list. Responding to others’ needs and bouncing from task to task can derail you from what’s more important or more difficult—researching something, writing, planning, thinking, problem-solving, for example. Do those things first, when you’re freshest.

Productivity consultant Julie Morgenstern wrote a popular book about this theme: Never Check Email In The Morning (2005) prompts you to find a way to start checking mail less often. Morgenstern argues that email-free time in the morning will snowball into a productive day.

If you must check email first thing in the morning—say, when your job involves communicating with people—set a time limit and look for just those pieces of information that’ll help you forwards.

Idea for Impact: Put yourself in the driving seat; don’t let events drive you

Morgenstern addresses the underlying discipline you need for how you prepare—or fail to prepare—to address the daily influx of demands on our attention. Intentionally choose to do something that requires your single-minded attention, whether relaxing or productive.

Wondering what to read next?

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  5. Get Unstuck and Take Action Now

Inspirational Quotations #933

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Each of us is responsible for everything and to every human being.
—Simone de Beauvoir (French Philosopher)

It is not the burden but the overburden that kills the beast.
—Spanish Proverb

Life is a great and wondrous mystery, and the only thing we know that we have for sure is what is right here right now. Don’t miss it.
—Leo Buscaglia (American Motivational Speaker)

In bad fortune hold out, in good hold in.
—German Proverb

Memory is a paradise out of which fate cannot drive us.
—Alexandre Dumas fils (French Dramatist, Novelist)

There is only one way left to escape the alienation of present day society: to retreat ahead of it.
—Roland Barthes (French Literary Theorist)

One’s self-image is very important because if that’s in good shape, then you can do anything, or practically anything.
—John Gielgud (British Actor, Director)

Intelligence makes clear to us the interrelationship of means and ends. But mere thinking cannot give us a sense of the ultimate and fundamental ends. To make clear these fundamental ends and valuations and to set them fast in the emotional life of the individual, seems to me precisely the most important function which religion has to form in the social life of man.
—Albert Einstein (German-born Theoretical Physicist)

Every truth we see is one to give to the world, not to keep to ourselves alone.
—Elizabeth Cady Stanton (American Social Reformer)

A person’s heart is in his feet.
—Irish Proverb

The key to why things change is the key to everything.
—James E. Burke (American Business Executive)

Ideas move rapidly when their time comes.
—Carolyn Gold Heilbrun (American Feminist Scholar)

So celebrate what you’ve accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed.
—Mia Hamm (American Soccer Player)

Definition of worry: duress rehearsal.
—Indian Proverb

The heart has always the pardoning power.
—Sophie Swetchine (Russian Mystic, Writer)

A few heart-whole, sincere, and energetic men and women can do more in a year than a mob in a century.
—Swami Vivekananda (Indian Hindu Monk, Mystic)

Radiant with heavenly pity, lost in care for those he knew not, save as fellow-lives.
—Edwin Arnold (English Poet)

There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable.
—Voltaire (French Philosopher, Author)

Focus on Achieving Your Highest Priorities

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Wriggle yourself out of the mindset that you have to “get through” the day. Adopt the attitude that the coming hours are filled with open-ended potential to do the best work of your life and take action that can change your life forever.

This attitude shift can help you see things differently and focus on making life better. Ruthless prioritization means working on the very best of the ideas—not just the very good ideas, but also the ones that constitute the most important thing you could be doing.

Make a list of people, activities, and things that rate the highest level of importance in your life. Think about what you value most and rank them in order of importance. Then, spend as many waking moments as possible using your best skills on causes you deeply care about.

That’s indeed the best way to live life.

Idea for Impact: The key to performing at your best is freeing up your mind to do your most productive and creative work. Decide your highest priorities and have the discipline to say no to other things.

When it’s time to reflect on the week, day, or hour ahead, ask, “Which of my activities drive the biggest results?”

Refocus and make progress, not react.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. Do Things Fast
  3. Ask This One Question Every Morning to Find Your Focus
  4. Did School Turn You Into a Procrastinator?
  5. A Guaranteed Formula for Success: Identify Your #1 Priority and Finish It First

No, Reason Doesn’t Guide Your Politics

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“The human mind is a story processor, not a logic processor,” observes the American political scientist Jonathan Haidt in The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion (2012,) a captivating voyage of discovery of the social psychology of politics and ethics. Haidt makes a compelling case for why reason and logic aren’t what people use to contend with problems and steer through to the right answers.

Most people’s politics tend to be ill-informed. People don’t engage in deep causal thinking about the consequences of their favored political positions. Information and analyses tend to provoke—not calm—their preconceived judgments.

Reason is Motivationally Inert

As the Scottish philosopher David Hume noted in his masterful Treatise on Human Nature (1739,) “Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them.”

Reason becomes subordinate to the passions that have come to life in people’s tribal allegiances and their confirmation bias. People are prone to making decisions derived from instinctive, emotional, and fast thinking of psychologist Daniel Kahneman’s “System 1,” not the slow, logical deliberations of “System 2.”

Most people feel good about sticking to their guns, even if they are wrong. They tend to read newspapers, periodicals, blogs, and social media feeds to settle ever more comfortably into their preexisting beliefs. They use their tribes’ “notice boards” not to reassess their established opinions but to have them validated, comforted, legitimized, and intensified.

On the rare occasion that they do converse with someone or read something they may disagree with, they don’t revaluate their judgments, let alone change their minds. They merely use reason as a weapon to discredit contrasting evidence, spot others’ flaws, and convince them that they are wrong. Consequently, reason doesn’t bind but drives differing people apart.

Idea for Impact: The Opinions You are Blind to Could Be Your Own

Be conscious of the internal conflicts brought on by your passions. Seek and assess the counterevidence. Incorporate these counterarguments and strengthen your positions.

Wondering what to read next?

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Inspirational Quotations #932

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Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith.
—Christopher Fry (English Poet, Playwright)

Sorrow itself is not so hard to bear as the thought of sorrow coming. Airy ghosts that work no harm do terrify us more than men in steel with bloody purposes.
—Thomas Bailey Aldrich (American Writer)

A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind.
—Joseph Weizenbaum (American Computer Scientist)

I pay no attention whatever to anybody’s praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.
—Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Austrian Composer)

Peace comes from feelings of satisfaction when working with joy, living with hope, loving with abandonment.
—Arnold Hutschnecker (American Psychiatrist)

Success is the child of audacity.
—Benjamin Disraeli (British Head of State)

I maintain that nothing useful and lasting can emerge from violence.
—Shirin Ebadi (Iranian Human Rights Activist)

Hold your children with your heart but teach them with your hands.
—Russian Proverb

Committee—a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
—Milton Berle (American Entertainer)

Journalism allows its readers to witness history; fiction gives its readers an opportunity to live it.
—John Hersey (American Novelist, Journalist)

There is a certain state of health that does not allow us to understand everything; and perhaps illness shuts us off from certain truths; but health shuts us off just as effectively from others.
—Andre Gide (French Novelist)

It is not the weight of the future or the past that is pressing upon you, but ever that of the present alone. Even this burden, too, can be lessened if you confine it strictly to its own limits.
—Marcus Aurelius (Emperor of Rome, Stoic Philosopher)

True wisdom comes from the overcoming of suffering and sin. All true wisdom is therefore touched with sadness.
—Whittaker Chambers (American Journalist)

The question of originality, if it arises at all, can never be peripheral: originality is more than a requirement in good poetry, it is a description of it.
—Clive James (Australian Writer, Broadcaster, TV Critic)

Pain is real when you get other people to believe in it. If no one believes in it but you, your pain is madness or hysteria.
—Naomi Wolf (American Feminist Writer)

Imagine a Better Response

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In the Discourses of Epictetus (c.108 CE,) Arrian reports, “I must die: must I, then die groaning too? I must be fettered: and wailing too. I must go into exile? Does anyone, then, keep me from going a smile and cheerful and serene?”

You may not choose the circumstance, but you can choose your response to it.

Choose your response, and you can rise above what holds you down.

But how?

Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning (1959) proposes, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

When circumstances pull for some particular reaction, choose to respond instead.

Don’t react without thinking. Don’t accept reflexive reactions. Instead, learn to become aware that there is a “space” before responding. Learn to recognize, increase, and make use of this “space.”

That awareness ushers a release from the dictates of both external and internal pressures.

Choose a better response. With that, you can find inner happiness.

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  4. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  5. Summary of Richard Carlson’s ‘Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff’

Nothing Like a Word of Encouragement to Provide a Lift

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Like many young-and-struggling writers, Stephen King and his wife Tabitha “Tabby” King toiled to make ends meet in their early 20s. They lived in a trailer with two young children. They drove an old, rusty Buick held together by baling wire and duct tape.

Tabby worked second-shift at Dunkin’ Donuts, and Stephen taught English at a private high school. He also moonlighted on odd jobs and worked summers at an industrial laundry to scrape by.

In his time off, Stephen worked hard at building a career as a writer and developed ideas for many novels. He sold short stories to men’s magazines.

One night, when working as a janitor in a school locker room, King struck an idea that eventually became his blockbuster first novel Carrie. It was about an eccentric high schooler who, with newly-discovered telekinetic powers, goes on a killing spree to exact revenge on her bullies.

Carrie almost didn’t make it beyond three pages!

When King started writing Carrie, he wrestled with acute self-doubt. He didn’t yet feel confident in his work’s quality or marketability.

One evening, just three pages into the draft of Carrie, King sat hunched over his desk littered with crumpled up bits of paper and cigarette butts. In frustration, he decided to give up on his idea for the novel. He slammed his fist on the table, hurled the first three pages of his book in a trashcan, and stomped out of the room.

Later that evening, Tabby saw the wrinkled balls of paper in the bin. She pulled them out, shook off the cigarette ashes, smoothed out the wrinkles, and sat down to read them.

When she was done, Tabby told Stephen, “I think you’ve got something here. I really do. You ought to keep it going.”

Tabby’s glimmer of hope surprised Stephen.

Tabby continued, “You can’t write about women. You’re scared of women.” She pledged to support him and offered suggestions on the main character and how she’d think.

Over the next few weeks, Tabby guided her husband through the world of women. She gave him guiding principles on forming the characters and helped him write the now-famous shower scene.

Nine months later, the final draft of Carrie was finished

Carrie became a 25,000-word novella. It was turned down for 30 publishers before Bill Thompson, an editor at Doubleday Publishing, offered King a $2,500 advance to publish the book.

King had gotten rid of his phone to save on expenses, so Thompson sent a telegram that read, “Congrats, kid—the future lies ahead.”

Yet, Carrie only sold 13,000 copies as a hardback. Dispirited, King grudgingly signed a new teaching contract for the 1974 school year.

Soon, Thompson was back with more significant news, “The paperback rights to Carrie went to Signet Books for $400,000 … 200K of it is yours. Congratulations, Stephen.”

As a paperback, Carrie sold over 1 million copies in its first year despite a mixed critical response. It became one of the most popular novels of all time.

Tabby encouraged Stephen King to keep going at that pivotal moment

Tabby’s simple action changed the trajectory of Stephen King’s career. Carrie launched one of the most successful careers in modern American writing. King is now one of the world’s most well-renowned and prolific authors.

King won the 2003 Medal of Distinguished Contribution to American Letters. In his acceptance speech at the National Book Awards Ceremony, King didn’t talk about his success or literary style. He spoke about how Tabby had rescued Carrie from the rubbish and inspired him to keep going:

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable—when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there’s a time when things can go either way. That vulnerable time for me came during 1971 to 1973. If my wife had suggested to me, even with love and kindness and gentleness, that the time had come to put my dreams away and support my family, I would have done that with no complaint. But the thought never crossed her mind. And if you open any edition of Carrie, you’ll read the same dedication: “This is for Tabby, who got me into it—and then bailed me out of it….”

A nudge of encouragement goes a long way!

As with Stephen King, a little boost of encouragement can lift somebody else’s spirits and help them move forward.

Encouragement is about believing in people, particularly when they don’t believe in themselves.

What’s one thing you can do today to boost somebody’s spirits beyond whatever is holding them back? Is there someone who needs you to believe in them today? Someone you can get unstuck today with a bit of nudge of encouragement?

  • Could you offer a sympathetic ear to a colleague in a spell of self-doubt or in a tangle and ask, “How can I help?”
  • Could you talk to a teenager who has suffered a setback, remind her of her virtues, and cheer her up by saying, “you’re a strong, confident person, and I know you’ll get through this.”

Idea for Impact: Everyone needs hope. Look for honest ways to offer even a little nudge of encouragement.

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  5. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal

Inspirational Quotations #931

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Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.
—William Goldman (Hollywood Screenwriter)

May you look back on the past with as much pleasure as you look forward to the future.
—Paul Dickson (American Writer)

No man or woman who tries to pursue an ideal in his or her own way is without enemies.
—Daisy Bates (American Civil Rights Activist)

If I thought I was going to die tomorrow, I should nevertheless plant a tree today.
—Stephen Girard (French-American Banker, Philanthropist)

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
—Abe Lemons (American Basketball Coach)

Come for your inheritance and you may have to pay for the funeral.
—Yiddish Proverb

A great photograph is a full expression of what one feels about what is being photographed in the deepest sense, and is, thereby, a true expression of what one feels about life in its entirety.
—Ansel Adams (American Photographer)

Age and marriage tame the beast.
—Haitian Proverb

Woe to him who teaches men faster than they can learn.
—William C. Durant (American Industrialist)

The place where your greatest fears live is also the place where your greatest growth lies.
—Robin Sharma (Canadian Writer, Motivational Speaker)

We rarely like the virtues we have not.
—William Shakespeare (British Playwright)

If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.
—Hans Bethe (American Physicist)

Riches are a good hand maiden, but a poor mistress.
—Francis Bacon (English Philosopher)

Greatness is not measured by what a man or woman accomplishes but by the opposition he or she has overcome to reach his goals.
—Dorothy Height (American Activist)

Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don’t mind.
—Herbert Beerbohm Tree (English Actor-Manager)

The point is that profound but contradictory ideas may exist side by side, if they are constructed from different materials and methods. And have different purposes. Each tells us something important about where we stand in the universe, and it is foolish to insist that they must despise each other.
—Neil Postman (American Educator, Social Critic)