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Thirteen Phrases Your Customers Don’t Want to Hear

August 14, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When spoken with a particular tone, specific phrases can instantly infuriate and frustrate customers. Here are some alternatives to consider:

  • Avoid: “I don’t know.” Instead, try “That’s a good question. Let me check and find out.”
  • Avoid: “Just a second.” Instead, try “It could take me a few minutes to get that information. Could you hold while I check, or should I call you back in ten minutes?”
  • Avoid: “Wait.” Instead, try “I haven’t gotten to that yet.”
  • Avoid: “We can’t do that for you.” Instead, try “That’s a tough one. Let me see what I can do.”
  • Avoid: “You’ll have to…” Instead, try “Here’s how we can help you.”
  • Avoid: “That’s not my job.” Instead, try “I usually don’t handle that area, but I know who can help you. Let me see if he’s available.”
  • Avoid: “It’s your fault.” Instead, try “The way this process works is…
  • Avoid: “Why didn’t you do…?” Instead, try “Our process expects you to…”
  • Avoid: “How’s that my concern?” Instead, try, “I understand how upset you are.”
  • Avoid: “I know!” Instead, try “Yes, you’re right.”
  • Avoid: “As I explained earlier… Instead, try “Let’s review the steps again.”
  • Avoid: “Don’t you understand?” Instead, try, “Am I understandable thus far?”
  • Avoid: “Are you done?” Instead, try, “Will there be anything else?”

Master the art of words and deliver customer service messages with a confident, sympathetic tone. Create a personalized list of “Do Say” and “Don’t Say” phrases, drawing from your own experiences.

Reflect on the pain points and communication barriers that specifically frustrated you as a customer during customer service calls, as well as the instances where representatives provided positive interactions. Identify effective approaches and avoid pitfalls when engaging with customers.

Wondering what to read next?

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  5. How to Reliably Tell If Someone is Lying

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Anger, Conflict, Conversations, Customer Service, Listening, Persuasion, Social Skills

Inspirational Quotations #1010

August 13, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

Speak roughly to your little boy, and beat him when he sneezes: he only does it to annoy, because he knows it teases.
—Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (Lewis Carroll) (British Anglican Author)

Vice is like a fury to the vicious mind, And turns delight itself to punishment.
—Ben Jonson (English Dramatist)

A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.
—Max Planck (German Theoretical Physicist)

When a member of our physical body is diseased and the whole body has to labor to restore it to health, we do not despise this diseased member or hold it under obligation because it needs all this assistance.
—John Calvin (French Theologian)

Every age has its peculiar folly: Some scheme, project, or fantasy into which it plunges, spurred on by the love of gain, the necessity of excitement, or the force of imitation.
—Charles Mackay (Scottish Poet, Journalist)

How many serious family quarrels, marriages out of spite, and alterations of wills, might have been prevented by a gentle dose of blue pill!—What awful instances of chronic dyspepsia in the characters of Hamlet and Othello! Banish dyspepsia and spirituous liquors from society, and you have no crime, or at least so little that you would not consider it worth mentioning.
—Charles Kingsley (English Clergyman)

We’re like children who always want to take apart watches to see how they work.
—Ernest Rutherford (New Zealand-born Physicist)

Everybody ought to do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice.
—William James (American Philosopher)

Separation penetrates the disappearing person like a pigment and steeps him in gentle radiance.
—Walter Benjamin (German Literary Critic)

As it is our nature to be more moved by hope than fear, the example of one we see abundantly rewarded cheers and encourages us far more than the sight of many who have not been well treated disquiets us.
—Francesco Guicciardini (Italian Historian)

The inward sighs of humble penitence rise to the ear of heaven, when pealed hymns are scattered to the common air.
—Joanna Baillie (Scottish Dramatist, Poet)

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
—Francis Beaumont (English Playwright)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Emotional Intelligence Is Overrated: The Problem With Measuring Concepts Such as Emotion and Intelligence

August 10, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In the contemporary landscape, relying solely on cognitive intelligence tests to evaluate the managerial potential of MBA students is increasingly considered inadequate. It has become fashionable for successful managers to need emotional intelligence to thrive in their roles.

Within human resources, there is a growing trend to define an individual’s ability to understand emotional expressions as a form of “intelligence,” measuring it through an emotional quotient (EQ) and considering it a personality trait. However, it is worth noting that people often find it refreshing to shed the façade they present in public and freely express their genuine thoughts, emotions, and actions in informal “off-the-record” situations rather than conforming to formalities during official meetings.

While some proponents argue that EQ encompasses all dimensions of managerial success that IQ fails to measure, this widely accepted viewpoint lacks credible scientific evidence. Unlike IQ, a clearly defined measure of cognitive abilities, there is no agreed-upon definition of emotional intelligence, and various EQ tests produce vastly different results. Moreover, societal biases and cultural upbringing can significantly influence EQ scores. Indeed, the claim that EQ is twice as vital as IQ is an entirely baseless and unproven assertion.

Emotional intelligence is an intricate and dynamic concept encompassing a broad spectrum of emotional competencies, social skills, and self-awareness. Attempting to simplify it into a single score may not adequately capture its subtleties and complexities.

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Filed Under: Career Development, Leading Teams, Managing People Tagged With: Attitudes, Career Planning, Communication, Employee Development, Getting Along, Interviewing, Philosophy

From the Inside Out: How Empowering Your Employees Builds Customer Loyalty

August 7, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

At a time when apathy and distrust are so endemic in many organizations, some companies have nurtured employee loyalty to create customer loyalty flourish. The following case studies will substantiate the cultivation of a positive work environment that prioritizes employee recognition and support invariably results in exceptional customer service.

The Nordstrom Way: Enabling Employees to Have the Freedom and Vision to Become Self-Directing

Nordstrom’s founders created a culture that prioritized a “worshipful relationship” with its luxury department store customers and empowered employees to do everything they could to please them. The Nordstrom Handbook emphasizes outstanding customer service and encourages employees to set high personal and professional goals, expressing confidence in their abilities. The company’s Rule 1 reads: “Use good judgment in all situations. There will be no additional rules. Please feel free to ask your department manager, store manager, or division manager any question at any time.” Nordstrom’s success is a testament to empowering employees and supporting policies prioritizing exceptional customer service.

Flying the Fun Skies at Southwest Airlines: Giving Employees the Freedom to Deliver a Great Brand Experience

Southwest Airlines achieved great success early on due to its committed and motivated workforce. Founder Herb Kelleher recognized the importance of prioritizing employee satisfaction to create a culture of caring for one another and providing excellent customer service. Kelleher famously said, “The business of business is people—yesterday, today, and forever. If the employees aren’t satisfied, they won’t provide the product we need.”

To create a positive work environment, Southwest Airlines encouraged fun among its employees, setting it apart from other airlines that were considered dull and unappealing. Celebrating employees and their families is deeply ingrained in Southwest Airlines’ culture, and it is evident in the prominent display of pictures capturing these special moments throughout their office spaces. This people-centric culture helped the company attract and retain talented workers passionate about their jobs and provide top-notch customer service, which made flying with the airline a fun experience. Despite the potential cost savings, Kelleher remained committed to celebrating employees with parties, banquets, gifts, birthday cards, and outings, citing the value of having the fewest customer complaints in the industry.

Beyond the Call of Duty: Ladies and Gentlemen Serving Ladies and Gentlemen at Ritz-Carlton

The Ritz Carlton is renowned for its exceptional customer service, with the empowerment of employees being a critical factor in their approach. The company’s philosophy of “Ladies and Gentlemen Taking Care of Ladies and Gentlemen” highlights the importance of treating customers and employees with respect and dignity. Regardless of their rank and title, employees can spend up to $2,000 per day per guest without seeking supervisor approval to solve problems and deliver personalized and unforgettable guest experiences. This approach may seem costly, but it empowers employees to use their judgment to create memorable and personal experiences for guests. One of my friends enjoyed staying at a Ritz-Carlton hotel a few months ago, where he ordered a burger and a milkshake. Unfortunately, the hotel did not offer milkshakes, so he settled for a glass of water. However, to his amazement, the waitress surprised him with a milkshake to accompany his burger. She went the extra mile without being prompted by scouring the kitchen for milk, ice cream, and cold milk to create the shake.

Idea for Impact: Empowering Employees is a Strategic Approach That Yields Significant Benefits

Empowering employees goes beyond providing the necessary tools and training; it fosters a culture of trust, autonomy, and ownership.

How you treat your employees directly impacts how they treat your customers. When you prioritize making your staff feel appreciated and supported, they are more likely to provide exceptional customer service. A positive work environment can foster innovation and creativity within your organization while attracting and retaining top talent.

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  3. General Electric’s Jack Welch Identifies Four Types of Managers
  4. Seven Real Reasons Employees Disengage and Leave
  5. Teams That Thrive make it Safe to Speak & Safe to Fail

Filed Under: Business Stories, Leading Teams, Managing People, MBA in a Nutshell Tagged With: Coaching, Customer Service, Employee Development, Great Manager, Human Resources, Motivation, Performance Management, Persuasion

Inspirational Quotations #1009

August 6, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced.
—Andre Gide (French Novelist)

I used to think that a man was sentenced to death or imprisonment because he was guilty; now I know that he is found guilty because he is disliked.
—Lu Xun (Chinese Writer)

Christians have oppressed Jews, Moslems, Buddhists, Pagans, and each other throughout their centuries of power, preaching religious intolerance as the word of Jehovah whenever they had the military, political, or economic power to make it stick — and then piously preaching brotherhood, peace, and toleration when they didn’t.
—Isaac Bonewits (American Neopagan)

No doubt the reason is that character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
—Helen Keller (American Author)

The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows.
—Aristotle Onassis (Greek Shipping Magnate)

The travel writer seeks the world we have lost—the lost valleys of the imagination.
—Alexander Claud Cockburn (Irish American Journalist)

We can’t all be stars because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as I go by.
—Sebastian Horsley (English Painter, Author)

Deliberation is the work of many men. Action, of one alone.
—Charles de Gaulle (French General, Statesman)

The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest possible amount of hissing.
—Jean-Baptiste Colbert (French Statesman)

Defer not till tomorrow to be wise. Tomorrow’s sun to thee may never rise.
—William Congreve (English Dramatist)

Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who knows he is alone.
—Octavio Paz (Mexican Poet, Diplomat)

We are firm believers in the maxim that, for all right judgment of any man or thing, it is useful, nay, essential, to see his good qualities before pronouncing on his bad.
—Thomas Carlyle (Scottish Historian, Essayist)

Now it is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.
—W. Somerset Maugham (British Novelist)

One day, when spring has gone and youth has fled,
The Maiden and the flowers will both be dead.
—Cao Xueqin (Chinese Writer)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Avoid Trigger Words: Own Your Words with Grace and Care

August 3, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Using phrases like “you should,” “you never,” and “you’re supposed to” can immediately put the other person on the defensive.

  • When making statements, it’s better to begin with “I feel” or “I’d like.” By using “I” statements, nobody can argue with the fact that you feel a certain way.
  • Take responsibility for your words. Instead of protesting with phrases like “Don’t be late as usual,” which only reinforce complaints, try inviting positive change by saying, “It would be helpful for me if you could arrive early tonight, maybe by six.”
  • Saying “I don’t care” or “You choose” might not make you seem pleasant and agreeable. The other person may resent being forced to make decisions on your behalf.
  • Phrases like “I hate to be a pain, but…” or “I could be wrong, but…” undermine your request before you even make it.
  • Saying “I know” can make you appear irritating, self-important, or unreceptive. Instead, using “You’re right” doesn’t belittle something the other person may have just realized. “Yes, that’s on my mind!” acknowledges the other person’s reminder.
  • If someone apologizes anxiously, don’t say, “Stop saying sorry.” Instead, saying, “You have nothing to apologize for,” is more reassuring and won’t make the other person feel awkward.

Idea for Impact: Using direct and concise language strengthens the message and clarifies your needs. Be mindful of language that may unintentionally cause offense, distress, or discomfort to others. Prioritizing empathy and open-mindedness can contribute to maintaining respectful and inclusive conversations.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Avoid Control Talk
  2. “But, Excuse Me, I’m Type A”: The Ultimate Humblebrag?
  3. ‘I Told You So’
  4. Signs Your Helpful Hand Might Stray to Sass
  5. “Are We Fixing, Whinging, or Distracting?”

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conversations, Etiquette, Getting Along, Humility, Likeability, Listening, Social Life, Social Skills

External Blame is the Best Defense of the Insecure

July 31, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In the realm of excuses, accountability tends to retreat while blame takes center stage. You find yourself playing the “blame game,” swiftly shifting responsibility onto external factors to protect your ego.

When faced with challenges, it’s natural to become defensive and deflect responsibility onto your boss, a vendor, the weather, working conditions, a partner, economic downturns, or anything but yourself. However, this negative energy worsens the situation and weakens your self-perception.

Beneath the surface, though, lies a truth: externalizing blame always hinders real growth and progress. So, the next time you catch yourself falling into the trap of feeling like a prisoner of circumstances, making excuses, or pointing fingers at others, take a moment to pause and ask yourself, “What could I have done to prevent this problem?” and “What lessons can we derive from this situation?”

Idea for Impact: Assuming responsibility is a testament to your strength. It displays courage, even if it may not feel that way. Only the resilient can truly accept blame. When we externalize blame, we give up control and surrender our power to heal and improve ourselves. On the other hand, embracing accountability has numerous benefits: it strengthens relationships, enhances credibility, fosters happiness within yourself and others, promotes transparency, boosts self-esteem, facilitates learning, and ultimately helps resolve problems. Choose accountability over blame and pave the way for personal growth and success.

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Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Adversity, Anger, Emotions, Mindfulness, Resilience, Success, Wisdom

Inspirational Quotations #1008

July 30, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

Every place is a good place, only time goes wrong.
—Yiyun Li (Chinese-American Writer)

Most people would succeed in small things, if they were not troubled with great ambitions.
—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (American Poet)

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.
—Arnold Glasow (American Businessman)

It is most reasonable men should value that benefit, which is most durable. Now tongues shall cease, and prophecy fail, and faith shall be consummated in sight, and hope in enjoyment; but love remains.
—William Penn (English Quaker Leader)

Love at first sight is a revival of an infantile impression. The first love object reappears in a different disguise.
—Wilhelm Stekel (Austrian Physician)

He who forgiveth, and is reconciled unto his enemy, shall receive his reward from God; for he loveth not the unjust doers.
—The Holy Quran (Sacred Scripture of Islam)

When the People contend for their liberty, they seldom get anything for their Victory but new Masters.
—George Savile, 1st Marquess of Halifax (British Statesman, Writer)

Life without prejudice, were it ever to be tried, would soon reveal itself to be a life without principle.
—Richard M. Weaver (American Rhetorician)

The Devil turns his back to a door that is shut.
—James Howell (Anglo-Welsh Writer)

Love heals. … It doesn’t always cure. There’s a difference between healing and curing. You can heal spiritually. You can heal emotionally. You can heal psychologically and socially, even if you don’t heal physically.
—Charles A. Garfield (American Psychologist)

Great occasions make great men.
—U.S. Proverb

When good men die their goodness does not perish,
But lives though they are gone. As for the bad,
All that was theirs dies and is buried with them.
—Euripides (Ancient Greek Dramatist)

People should be beautiful in every way – in their faces, in the way they dress, in their thoughts and in their innermost selves.
—Anton Chekhov (Russian Short Story Writer)

It is the lone worker who makes the first advance in a subject: the details may be worked out by a team, but the prime idea is due to the enterprise, thought, and perception of an individual.
—Alexander Fleming (Scottish Bacteriologist)

The unread story is not a story; it is little black marks on wood pulp. The reader, reading it, makes it live: a live thing, a story.
—Ursula K. Le Guin (Science-fiction writer)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Labeling Damage

July 27, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Labels not only stereotype individuals but also limit and stifle them. Even so-called positive labels like “little miss perfect” perpetuate harmful stereotypes and can be internalized. Labels create walls around people, making it difficult for them to break free from preconceived notions.

Instead of oversimplifying people’s traits and characteristics with labels, let’s celebrate individuality by avoiding labels altogether. Let’s embrace the complexity of each person and acknowledge their unique qualities.

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  3. Embracing Cultural Sensitivity: A Case Study of Akira Kurosawa’s Oscar Speech
  4. Stop Stigmatizing All Cultural ‘Appropriation’
  5. Beyond Mansplaining’s Veil

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Biases, Conflict, Diversity, Getting Along, Group Dynamics, Politics, Social Dynamics

“Are We Fixing, Whinging, or Distracting?”

July 24, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When a friend is upset and seeks your support, it’s essential to ask them a simple question once it’s appropriate: “Do you want to talk about it? Do you want to get your mind off it and distract yourself, or are you expecting me to give you some suggestions to help you out?”

Asking, “Are we fixing, whinging, or distracting?” can be incredibly beneficial for an upset friend. I use it often, and people respond positively to it. This question establishes boundaries and fosters trust, allowing you to be there for them the way they need.

Sometimes, people simply need to vent. Begin by providing comfort and then follow up with, “Do you want advice, or do you want me just to listen?”

It’s crucial to validate the other person’s feelings and experiences. Even if you believe there’s an easy fix, prioritize acknowledging their emotions. Let them be heard and empathize with them. Validating their emotions is truly significant. Simple statements like “Yeah, that IS terrible,” “That does suck,” “I can definitely see why you’re angry,” or “You have a right to be frustrated” can work wonders in offering solace and emotional support during challenging moments.

At times, staying quiet is what’s needed. It saves you from saying something unsuited to the situation. You can also say, “I am at a loss for words,” which is still validating. It shows that you consider the issue as crucial as they do and are also genuinely stumped by it.

However, on other occasions, they may need to share their experiences with someone outside of the conflict. This allows them to express their thoughts and emotions, which can be cathartic and aid in processing their experiences. If they wish to shift their focus and be distracted from what’s bothering them, talk about your own day, share something funny you came across, or engage in a fun activity together.

Idea for Impact: Don’t assume they’re seeking a solution when someone vents. Avoid offering advice right away in an attempt to steer them away from discussing it.

People often want to vent, grumble, and unload their troubles, even momentarily. Listen patiently and without reproach, offering a compassionate ear.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Signs Your Helpful Hand Might Stray to Sass
  2. Avoid Trigger Words: Own Your Words with Grace and Care
  3. Stop Trying to Fix Things, Just Listen!
  4. Silence Speaks Louder in Conversations
  5. Here’s How to Improve Your Conversational Skills

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conversations, Etiquette, Getting Along, Likeability, Listening, Social Life, Social Skills, Therapy

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Ryan Holiday describes how a lack of humility can impede a full, successful life. Lessons: be humble and persistent; value discipline and results, not passion and confidence. Be less, do more.

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