Health and Well-being

Temper Your Expectations, Avoid Disappointments in Life

September 16, 2016 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

The Buddha’s vision of existence is expressed in the truth of pain and suffering. He taught that redemption comes solely from knowledge, the root of which lies in awareness of the reasons for suffering.

According to the first of the Buddha’s Four Nobel Truths, worldly existence is fundamentally unsatisfactory: “This is the truth of pain: birth is painful, old age is painful, sickness is painful. Contact with unpleasant things is painful, not getting what one wishes is painful.”

Core to the Buddhist approach to life is to lower our expectations, thereby raising our joys. If pain and suffering constitute the gap between what we want and what we have, surely we have the power to change what we want.

Verse 94 in The Dhammapada (ref. Max Muller’s Wisdom of the Buddha) declares, “The gods even envy him whose senses, like horses well broken in by the driver, have been subdued, who is free from pride, and free from appetites.”

Mirroring the Buddha’s teaching, the great Stoic philosopher Epictetus (55–135 CE) taught the following (ref. the Enchiridion or the Manual of Epictetus compiled by his disciple Arrian):

But, for the present, totally suppress desire: for, if you desire any of the things which are not in your own control, you must necessarily be disappointed; … If, for example, you are fond of a specific ceramic cup, remind yourself that it is only ceramic cups in general of which you are fond. Then, if it breaks, you will not be disturbed. If you kiss your child, or your wife, say that you only kiss things which are human, and thus you will not be disturbed if either of them dies. … Men are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things. … Don’t demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well. … Whoever, then, would be free, let him wish nothing … wish things to be only just as they are, and him only to conquer who is the conqueror, for thus you will meet with no hindrance.”

Idea for Impact: Trying to change people will result in frustration and futility. They may change in a short time, but unless there is a compelling reason for change (e.g., a significant emotional event that shocks them,) people go back to their natural state. Find the people who have the behaviors you want and teach them the skills they need to be productive.

Choose Not to Be Offended, and You Will Not Be: What the Stoics Taught

August 16, 2016 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When somebody offends you or causes you distress, think of the anxiety as their problem, not yours.

The Stoic philosophers taught that if you choose not to be offended by others’ actions, you will not be. An offense is up to your interpretation. Instead, treat others with kindness and assert your autonomy.

This moral is exemplified in the following clip from the movie Gandhi (1983) portraying racial discrimination in South Africa and Gandhi’s espousal of Christian values. A young Gandhi and his friend Charles Freer Andrews are walking in a Johannesburg suburb when they’re accosted by menacing louts who yell “Look what’s comin’!” and “A white shepherd leading a brown Sammy!” (Sammy—for swami—was a South African derogatory term for an Indian.) Despite Andrews’s misgivings, Gandhi strides along rather nervously and invokes the Christian principle of turning the other cheek. When one lout’s intentions of “cleaning up the neighborhood a little” are disrupted by his mother, Gandhi responds, “You’ll find there’s room for us all!”

Mastering an Offensive Situation Is Ultimately a Matter of Mastering Yourself

In Meditations, the great Roman Emperor and Stoic Philosopher Marcus Aurelius wrote about taking responsibility for the things within your control:

Someone despises me. That’s their problem. Mine: not to do or say anything despicable. Someone hates me. Their problem. Mine: to be patient and cheerful with everyone, including them. Ready to show them their mistake. Not spitefully, or to show off my own self-control, but in an honest, upright way.

Marcus Aurelius counsels compassion for those who offend you:

When people injure you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that, you’ll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger. Your sense of good and evil may be the same as theirs, or near it, in which case you have to excuse them. Or your sense of good and evil may differ from theirs. In which case they’re misguided and deserve your compassion. Is that so hard?

Strength dissipates when you choose to be offended, and harbor malice. Marcus Aurelius counsels acting compassionately towards those who offend you:

That kindness is invincible, provided it’s sincere—not ironic or an act. What can even the most vicious person do if you keep treating him with kindness and gently set him straight—if you get the chance—correcting him cheerfully at the exact moment that he’s trying to do you harm. “No, no, my friend. That isn’t what we’re here for. It isn’t me who’s harmed by that. It’s you.” And show him, gently and without pointing fingers, that it’s so. That bees don’t behave like this— or any other animals with a sense of community. Don’t do it sardonically or meanly, but affectionately—with no hatred in your heart. And not ex cathedra or to impress third parties, but speaking directly. Even if there are other people around.

Another Stoic Philosopher, Epictetus, who advocated integrity, self-management, and personal freedom, wrote in Discourses (transcribed and published by his pupil Arrian):

For there are two rules we should always have at hand: That nothing is good or evil, but choice, and, That we are not to lead events, but to follow them. “My brother ought not to have treated me so”. Very true, but it is for him to see to that. However he treats me, I am to act rightly with regard to him. For this is my concern, the other is somebody else’s; this no one can hinder, the other is open to hindrance.

Idea for Impact: To Be Offended Is a Choice You Make

When somebody insults, mistreats, snubs, or disrespects you, choose not to be upset. To be offended is an issue of the self—it’s a choice you intentionally make. Taking offense is about what you want them to be. It is about your desire to change their perspective and behavior.

Try to isolate offense by choosing to respond differently: by overlooking others’ wrongdoings with compassion and reminding yourself that you cannot change others, just your own self.

The Hebrew Bible (or the Old Testament) instructs, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11.) To be offended is a choice you make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon you by someone or something else.

Choose not to let others dictate your emotions—purposely or otherwise. Live life with the wisdom that nobody can make you do anything and that you alone can control how you react to your surroundings and circumstances. Choose to be more at peace.

Anger Is Often Pointless

May 31, 2016 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Anger is often nothing more than an intense emotion caused by an apparent injustice. The destructive outcomes of anger are well known. When even a slight annoyance arises, it is capable of growing quickly and overwhelming your state of mind.

Anger results in (1) a loss of perspective and judgement, (2) impulsive and irrational behavior that is destructive to both yourself and others, and (3) loss of face, compassion, and social credibility.

Anger is often pointless, as the following Buddhist parable will illustrate.

Often, there’s no one to blame

Once upon a time, a farmer was paddling his boat upstream to deliver his produce to a distant village. It was a sultry day, so he was covered in sweat. He was in a great hurry to reach the village market.

Further on upstream, the farmer spotted another boat rapidly moving downstream toward his vessel. It looked as though this boat was going to hit him. In response, he paddled feverishly to move out of the way, but it didn’t seem to help. He yelled, “Hey, watch out!” The other boat seemed to approach him swiftly. The farmer shouted, “Hey, you’re going to hit me! Adjust your direction.” He got no response and continued to yell in vain.

As a last resort, the farmer stood up angrily waving his arms and shaking his fist. The other boat smashed right into him. He was hopping mad and cried out, “You imbecile! How could you hit my boat in the middle of this wide river? Couldn’t you hear me asking you to get out of my way? What is wrong with you?”

Then, all of a sudden, the farmer realized that the boat was empty; it had perhaps cut loose of its moorings and floated downstream with the current. He calmed down and realized that there was no one to blame but an empty boat and the river. His anger was purposeless.

Anger depletes energy and leads to loss of perspective and judgement

When you lose your inner peace, you expect that your anger can help you get even with the offending person or amend the vexing circumstances. However, responding with anger is illogical. The offending deed has already occurred, a fact your anger fails to negate. Also, your anger cannot thwart or diminish the perceived wrong.

In the New Testament, Ephesians 4:26–27 advise, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Free yourself from anger

There is no benefit to anger at all. All anger can beget is negative energy, which can aggravate an already volatile situation. Anger can also impede sound judgement and inhibit your ability to consider the negative consequences of your abrupt reactions.

The next time you’re angry, consider the following response:

Stop. Don’t respond immediately. Walk away from the situation that has instigated your anger.
Breathe deeply. Become fully aware of your state of mind. Assess what’s going on.
Calm down and compose yourself. Invoke mindfulness to appeal to your wisdom. Anger and other emotional arousals often stem from a lack of self-awareness or mindlessness, and can simmer down if you just wait long enough.
Consider the matter from other points of view. Ask if there could be other possible explanations for what happened.
Identify the reasons for your anger by asking three questions: (1) “Is this matter serious enough to get worked up about?” (2) “Is my anger necessary and warranted?” (3) “Will getting angry make a difference?”
Reflect about what response will be most effective. Try to develop a wise and measured course of action.

Idea for Impact: A low-anger life is a happier life

Patience is the definitive antidote to anger and aggression. With patience, you may not always be able to eliminate anger, but you can usually control it. Patience can build and fortify your intellectual and psychological resources.

As Proverbs 19:11 tells in the Hebrew Bible, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Ultimately, developing greater patience enhances your romantic, personal, professional, and casual relationships—as well as that all-important relationship: the one you have with yourself.

A Timeout from Busyness // Book Summary of Pico Iyer’s ‘The Art of Stillness’

January 27, 2015 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Escape from the Mayhem

Our everyday lives are so busy. Our days are so full. Our world is so noisy.

We fill our lives with activities. We are at the mercy of our commitments. We have an incessant need to be occupied. We hasten. We seek to do something—anything.

Often, our identities are defined by mere ‘doing,’ not ‘being.’ Many of us struggle to find a few minutes to just sit quietly and clear our heads. We cannot afford some space to think and just be. We hardly ever pause to contemplate our experiences or reflect on the life we’ve been missing in a world overwhelmed by distractions.

Distractions disrupt our peace. The French scientist and Christian philosopher Blaise Pascal wrote in Pensees, “Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries, and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries” and added that “the sole cause of man’s unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room.”

To counter all of our exhilarating movement, we must balance it with an escape. We need space and stillness. When we remain still, we are struck by the realization that our noisy outer world is nothing but a reflection of our cluttered inner world.

Stillness: “Clarity and Sanity and the Joys that Endure”

Celebrated globetrotter and travel writer Pico Iyer’s “The Art of Stillness,” an expansion of his TED talk, is an inspiring analysis of the need to escape the persistent distractibility of the mundane. Iyer makes a persuasive argument for the startling pleasures of “sitting still as a way of falling in love with the world and everything in it.”

Pico Iyer and his family lives in a modest home in the countryside near Kyoto without internet, television, mobile phones, or even cars.

The book’s promo includes excerpts from Iyer’s talk:

We all know that in our undermined lives, one of the things most undermined is ourselves. Many of us have the sensation that we are standing about two inches away from a huge canvass. It’s noisy. It’s crowded. And it’s changing every second. And that screen is our lives. It’s only by stepping back and holding still, that we can begin to see what the canvass means.

One of the first things you learn when you travel is that nowhere is magical unless you can bring the right eyes to it. I find that the best way I could develop more attentive and more appreciative eyes was, oddly to go nowhere … just by sitting still.

In the age of constant movement, nothing is so urgent as sitting still.

The Importance of Taking a Timeout From Busyness

Subtitled “Adventures in Going Nowhere,” Iyer’s insightful 64-page book provides several examples of stillness in practice. Iyer gives us glimpses into the lives of a privileged few who have found peace.

For example, legendary singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen discovered the supreme seduction of a monastic life. In 1994, after constant indulgence as an incessant traveler and international heartthrob, Cohen moved to the Mt. Baldy Zen Center in California, embarked on five years of seclusion, served as an aide to the now-107-year-old Japanese Zen teacher Kyozan Joshu Sasaki, and got ordained as a Zen Buddhist monk.

Leonard Cohen had come to this Old World redoubt to make a life—an art—out of stillness. And he was working on simplifying himself as fiercely as he might on the verses of one of his songs, which he spends more than ten years polishing to perfection. The week I was visiting, he was essentially spending seven days and nights in a bare meditation hall, sitting stock-still. … Sitting still, he said with unexpected passion, was “the real deep entertainment” he had found in his sixty-one years on the planet. “Real profound and voluptuous and delicious entertainment. The real feast that is available within this activity.” … “This seems to me the most luxurious and sumptuous response to the emptiness of my own existence.”

Typically lofty and pitiless words; living on such close terms with silence clearly hadn’t diminished his gift for golden sentences. But the words carried weight when coming from one who seemed to have tasted all the pleasures that the world has to offer.

…

Sitting still with his aged Japanese friend, sipping Courvoisier, and listening to the crickets deep into the night, was the closest he’d come to finding lasting happiness, the kind that doesn’t change even when life throws up one of its regular challenges and disruptions.

…

Going nowhere, as Cohen described it, was the grand adventure that makes sense of everywhere else.

From the Mayhem of Thought & Action to The Stillness of Being

Iyer contends that the best place to visit in these frenzied, over-connected times is nowhere:

At some point, all the horizontal trips in the world stop compensating for the need to go deep, into somewhere challenging and unexpected; movement makes most sense when grounded in stillness. In an age of speed, I began to think, nothing could be more invigorating than going slow. In an age of distraction, nothing could feel more luxurious than paying attention. And in an age of constant movement, nothing is more urgent than sitting still.

…

Going nowhere … isn’t about turning your back on the world; it’s about stepping away now and then so that you can see the world more clearly and love it more deeply.

…

It’s only by taking myself away from clutter and distraction that I can begin to hear something out of earshot and recall that listening is much more invigorating than giving voice to all the thoughts and prejudices that anyway keep me company twenty-four hours a day. And it’s only by going nowhere—by sitting still or letting my mind relax—that I find that the thoughts that come to me unbidden are far fresher and more imaginative than the ones I consciously seek out.

Iyer’s “The Art of Stillness” isn’t a self-help manual and doesn’t give specific, actionable advice on how to achieve stillness. Quiet reflection and mindfulness meditation could move one’s mind in the direction of uplifting tranquility and natural stillness.

Idea for Impact: Occasionally, Try to Not Do Anything and Just Be

Take a break from your day to reflect, to recharge and to reassess. Take a vacation from your accelerated life. Just be with yourself, genuinely center, and quiet the mind.

You can achieve this centered state and contemplate when your exterior is noiseless. Then, during those still and silent moments you can come to terms with your experiences and struggles, your hopes and despairs, your ideas and judgments, your fears and fantasies.

Feed the Right Wolf: An American-Indian Parable on Cultivating the Right Attitudes

January 15, 2014 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

A traditional American Indian story features a young Cherokee boy who once became annoyed that another boy had done him some injustice. After returning home, the young boy expressed his frustration to his grandfather.

The old Cherokee chief said to his grandson, “I too, at times, have felt a great hatred for those who have taken so much with no sorrow for what they do.

“Hatred wears you down, and hatred does not hurt your enemy. Hatred is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these emotions many times.

“It’s as though a fight is continuously going on inside me. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

“One wolf is good and does no harm. He is filled with joy, humility, and kindness. He lives in harmony with everyone around and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so and in the right way.

“The other wolf is full of anger, envy, regret, greed, and self-pity. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone all the time and for no reason. When blinded by his anger and hatred, he does not have a sound mind. It is helpless anger, because his anger will change nothing.

“It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me. These two wolves are constantly fighting to control my spirit.

“Young man, the same fight is going on inside you and inside every other person on this earth.”

The grandson thought about it for a moment and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win inside you, grandpa?”

The old Cherokee chief smiled and replied, “The one I feed.”

Dear readers, which wolf inside are you feeding?

The Right attitudes beget the right attitudes.

The World’s Shortest Course on Time Management

May 1, 2013 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

There are countless things you can do.

There are numerous things you want to do.

There are several things others expect you to do.

There are many things you think you are supposed to do.

However, there are only a few things that you must do. Focus on those and avoid the rest.

In depth: Take my three-part course on time management—time logging, time analysis, and time budgeting. See also my 10-minute “Dash” technique to overcome procrastination.

When Work Becomes Alibi: Turtle Workaholism and Excuse-making

December 19, 2012 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When we think of workaholics, we tend to conjure up images of people slaving away for their paycheck, either out of necessity or ambition. But what about the elusive “turtle workaholics”—those who use their jobs as a way to escape personal problems and evade domestic responsibilities?

These workaholics submit to work as a distraction and seek refuge in the routine and structure of their jobs, finding solace in tangible results and recognition from colleagues. Meanwhile, they neglect the conflicts brewing at home with their spouses or children. It’s a classic case of out of sight, out of mind—except it’s their personal lives that’re out of sight.

The problem with this approach, of course, is that “turtle workaholism” isn’t a real solution. While it might provide temporary relief, it doesn’t address the underlying issues. So if you find yourself gravitating towards work as a means of escapism, take a moment to examine your motivations. Confronting conflicts might be uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to truly resolve them. Don’t be a turtle—face your problems head-on.

Stressed, Lonely, or Depressed? Could a Pet Help?

December 11, 2012 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Getting a pet may be just what a doctor might order to help overcome stress, loneliness, and depression.

For reasons not completely understood, we need animals as much as they need us.

Scientific studies have confirmed anecdotal evidence that pets can play a role in taming physical responses to stress. Blood pressure is shown to drop sharply when people merely rub a cat or a dog. The presence of a loved pet can have a calming influence on blood pressure and heart rate, especially when performing a task that might induce physical and mental stress. Even watching fish in an aquarium can reduce anxiety in dental patients waiting for oral surgeries.
Pets can be great buffers against everyday stress, thereby improving long-term physical and mental health. After a hard day at work, playing with a pet can be an effective way of unwinding and reducing stress. Around the world, more delighted frenzies are welcoming people at the end of their hard days at work. An estimated 63% of American, 43% of British, 20% of Japanese, and 60% of Australian households have pets. The proportion of households with pets is growing in India, China, and other developing countries as the burgeoning middle-classes have greater disposable incomes.

Pets can be a great source of nurturance for children. Pets can provide children with many formative experiences in caring for others, including, possibly, the first glimpse of death and the chance to cope with the loss of a loved one.
Pets are non-judgmental and accept their owners without qualification. They provide unconditional love and companionship. Having dogs encourages their owners to get out often, exercise, and meet more people. One study showed that people in wheelchairs got much friendlier responses in public places when they brought along their dogs.
Pet ownership can be a gratifying surrogate for human companionship, especially for people with limited social support systems. People with pets cope better with the impacts of adverse life events. At nursing homes, visiting therapy dogs lift the spirits of elders who tend to be sad or withdrawn.
The mere presence of somebody—even a pet—that one can care about can bring about a sense of purpose and great joy. [Look at this touching chronicle of an 87-year old grandmother in Japan and her beloved cat.]

Idea for Impact: Consider adopting a pet

Plenty of cats and dogs at humane shelters may die if not adopted. Choose a pet that fits your lifestyle. Understand that owning a pet is not for everyone; pets involve additional responsibility, which can be added-on stress. If your circumstances do not allow you to own a pet, offer to walk a friend’s dog regularly, babysit a vacationer’s cats, or volunteer at an animal shelter, clinic, or pet store.

You Don’t Have to Be Chained to Your Desk to Succeed at Work

January 28, 2011 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

The 40-hour workweek is a bygone. The workday is longer, the pace of work is faster, and most projects tend to be open-ended. A successful corporate career now demands a high-level of performance for sustained periods. At what cost, though?

The “Activity is Productivity” Fallacy

Regrettably, companies still tend to measure an employee’s commitment by how many hours he is willing to put in. In the absence of a meaningful yardstick for the productivity of knowledge workers, companies continue to cling to the outdated equation that time worked equals output, a residue from the mindsets of the Industrial Age. Late nights and shorter weekends have become implied signs of employee loyalty.

Companies strive to get more from their “right-sized” staffs and have come to depend on cadres of hard-working professionals. Therefore, companies look upon employees willing to put in long hours as assets. They bestow swift promotions and pay big bucks to employees who are willing to take on demanding assignments, be available around the clock, and forego a healthy separation between work and personal time.

The unspoken imperative is that employees have to work longer hours to get ahead, and defiant employees who wish for a balanced life may hurt their careers.

Our Society Endorses Overwork

As a society, we respect overwork. We praise hardworking, career-driven individuals, even if they have lost their sense of work-life balance. Canadian psychologist Barbara Killinger asserts in her book, “Workaholics: The Respectable Addicts,” that workaholism is now talked about as a virtue.

Overwork has become a social problem in many countries. Surveys have revealed that Americans put in more hours of work each year than employees in other countries put and do not use a fourth of their allotted vacation. Working mothers take shorter maternity leaves than they used to. Entrepreneurs sacrifice way too much for relatively modest payoffs.

In Japan, overwork has led to some of the highest rates of work-related deaths and suicides in the developed world. This social problem is rooted in the samurai culture that judged the allegiance and personal fortitude of its warriors by their willingness to work long hours and sacrifice self-interests. In the 1960s, the Japanese even coined the term karoshi to describe death by overwork. Currently, the Japanese government is considering regulating work hours.

Chinese employers have recently faced a spate of suicides and ill health caused by overwork and deteriorating employee welfare. Most newsworthy of these episodes is the deaths of many migrant workers at a factory that contract-manufactures iPods and iPhones for Apple. The Mandarin term guolaosi refers to the destructive consequences of this intense work ethic.

Long Work Hours Just Don’t Help

The all-work, no-play mentality is serving neither employees nor their employers.

Employees spend fewer hours at home, preoccupy their minds with work even when they are at home, ignore the emotional needs of their families, and ultimately strain their relationships with loved ones. Overworked employees suffer from a lack of sleep. Their unceasing fatigue debilitates their immune systems and results in serious health problems. Often, they resort to excessive smoking or alcohol and substance abuse, develop poor eating habits, and ignore physical fitness.

Long hours and lesser vacations are not good for the bottom line of companies either. Longer hours do not add up to better work.

Overwork weighs down on organizational effectiveness in terms of productivity loss, inaccuracies, poor relationships at work, and plummeting employee engagement. Employers also face increased medical costs from the decline in the physical and emotional health of their employees.

Please Stop Working So Hard!

Look, there is nothing wrong with working hard and having a passion for what you do. I agree that putting in the extra effort, undertaking challenging projects, and pursuing career growth are all very gratifying. Nevertheless, do not ignore the needs of the other aspects of your life. Here are seven suggestions that can help you work hard, but not indulge in overwork.

Pace yourself. Do not think of your job as an endurance contest. As a knowledge worker, for the most part, you are paid for your intellectual work. Ingenuity and creative aptitude tend to spring in intense bursts. Therefore, your capacity for intellectual work drops dramatically when you are weary and stressed-out. Plan your day on how much you target to achieve before you can take a break and rest.
Understand and cling to the critical path. Recognize the big picture of everything you work on from the customer’s perspective. Then, concentrate on the essentials. Remember, there are several things you can do, many things people want you to do, but only a few that you must do. Focus on what you must do, not what you can. Prioritize relentlessly.
If you are struggling with managing your time, follow my simple, three-step process (time logging, time analysis, time budgeting) to discover how you tend to spend time currently and how you could focus on the things that matter the most. Remember, effective time management is truly about managing priorities, not about managing time.
Stay on top of your tasks. Identify areas of inefficiency. Ask for help, delegate, outsource, or invest in tools and technologies that can help you achieve more in less time.
Limit the amount of time you spend in meetings. Screen the agenda of each meeting for items that can be resolved by e-mail or delegation or a prior meeting.
Learn to set limits on your workweek. Don’t take your time for granted. Reflect on what you would truly like to achieve and make the right work-life choices. No one can make the choices for you. Remember that the true yardstick of your performance assessment is not the number of hours you put in, but your accomplishment in these hours.
Set aside personal time. Plan and use your vacation time meaningfully. Have the discipline to leave your laptop, blackberry, and other electronic devices behind. Disconnect from work and enjoy your time with loved ones.

The Right Choices for a Successful Career & a Balanced Life

Work as many hours as you think you need to achieve your goals, realize your aspirations and be happy. Do not overwork and let your career progression become an obsession.

Anxious or stressed out? Try deep breathing for instant relief

August 10, 2010 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Anxiety and stress are the body and mind’s natural responses to anything that jeopardizes your sense of balance. Your nervous system releases cortisol, adrenaline and other stress hormones that make your heart beat faster, tense up muscles, rise blood pressure, and sharpen the senses to respond to physical or symbolic threats. Your breath becomes faster and shallower.

Deep diaphragmatic breathing: An obvious antidote to stress and anxiety

When you feel nervous, frazzled, overwhelmed or worried about something, try the following exercise:

Sit quietly in a comfortable posture with your back straight.
Release the tension in your face, jaw, neck, and shoulders.
Softly close your eyes. Smile and relax. Breathe through your nose.
Examine the inflow and outflow of air through your nostrils.
Make a conscious effort to slow down the pace of your breath.
Deepen your breathing by inhaling and exhaling more air. As you breathe deep into your lungs, flex your diaphragm, expand your belly, and feel the sensation of air filling up your lungs. Do not flex by flexing your chest. Exhale slowly.
Repeat the inhale-slowly-exhale-slowly cycle five times.
Reflect on how your mind is now more composed, stable and clear. Gently open your eyes.

Simple and powerful relaxation technique

Deep breathing from the diaphragm is easy to learn. It’s a technique you can practice anywhere, anytime to quickly get your anxiety in check.

Research has shown that deep breathing gets more oxygen into the brain and exercises the parts of the brain responsible for concentration and regulation of emotion. The brain regulates the release of stress hormones and reverses the symptoms of stress and anxiety. Your heart rate slows down and your muscles relax. Consequently, you can calm yourself down.

Self-Assessment Quiz and Recommended Reading

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Health and Well-being

Wondering what to read next?

Mastering an Offensive Situation Is Ultimately a Matter of Mastering Yourself

Idea for Impact: To Be Offended Is a Choice You Make

Wondering what to read next?

Often, there’s no one to blame

Anger depletes energy and leads to loss of perspective and judgement

Free yourself from anger

Idea for Impact: A low-anger life is a happier life

Wondering what to read next?

Escape from the Mayhem

Stillness: “Clarity and Sanity and the Joys that Endure”

The Importance of Taking a Timeout From Busyness

From the Mayhem of Thought & Action to The Stillness of Being

Idea for Impact: Occasionally, Try to Not Do Anything and Just Be

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Idea for Impact: Consider adopting a pet

Wondering what to read next?

The “Activity is Productivity” Fallacy

Our Society Endorses Overwork

Long Work Hours Just Don’t Help

Please Stop Working So Hard!

The Right Choices for a Successful Career & a Balanced Life

Wondering what to read next?

Deep diaphragmatic breathing: An obvious antidote to stress and anxiety

Simple and powerful relaxation technique

Self-Assessment Quiz and Recommended Reading

Wondering what to read next?