• Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Nagesh Belludi

A Hack to Resist Temptation: The 15-Minute Rule

March 23, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When you’re faced with a temptation, e.g., when you have a sugar craving, try this 15-Minute Rule: Commit to not giving in for 15 minutes. Take yourself away from the stimulus that led to the temptation.

With any luck, the enticement will wear off. At least it’ll become more manageable to control. If at all possible, wait another 15 minutes.

Increasing your awareness of your temptations and refusing to submit to them impulsively is the key to changing behavior.

Idea for Impact: Self-control in the face of urges and cravings is tricky. Even a simple distraction can break the trance.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What the Dry January Trap Shows Us About Extremes
  2. What Are You So Afraid Of? // Summary of Susan Jeffers’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’
  3. How to Turn Your Procrastination Time into Productive Time
  4. Beware the Opportunity Cost of Meditating
  5. Do You Really Need More Willpower?

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Discipline, Emotions, Goals, Lifehacks, Mindfulness, Persuasion, Procrastination

What To Do If Your New Hire Is Underperforming

March 22, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

If a recent hire, particularly one brought into the team with high expectations, isn’t delivering, start by asking the following two questions:

  1. Is the employee in an environment that allows her to perform at her best?
  2. Are you clear on what her personal objectives are?

Only after answering both these questions with a ‘yes’ can you move to consider coaching, reassess the employee’s suitability, and examine if you need to terminate the bad hire quickly and cut your losses.

Idea for Impact: Nothing puts wind beneath a manager’s wings more quickly than asking these two questions when dealing with employee underperformance. Ask, don’t guess, how you can accommodate each employee’s strengths and needs and create an environment that works best for each individual.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to creating a positive culture, empowering employees, and tackling performance problems. Each employee faces individual challenges and has her own goals and preferences.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Fire Fast—It’s Heartless to Hang on to Bad Employees
  2. General Electric’s Jack Welch Identifies Four Types of Managers
  3. Why Hiring Self-Leaders is the Best Strategy
  4. Seven Real Reasons Employees Disengage and Leave
  5. How to Manage Overqualified Employees

Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People Tagged With: Coaching, Conversations, Employee Development, Feedback, Hiring & Firing, Human Resources, Mentoring, Motivation

Let Go of Toxic Friendships

March 21, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Friendships are an integral ingredient of happiness, and they often help you feel better—but not always. Some friendships are just bad for you.

Occasionally, you can fall into the trap of hanging onto unhealthy relationships because they’re familiar—even when you’re constantly let down. Worse yet, ‘ambivalent relationships’ can cause you more anxiety than being with people you actively dislike.

It takes two to define a friendship. Relationships are grounded in social exchange, and with unbalanced friendships, the other draws more from the “friendship bank” over time than they care to put into it. If you’ve set clear expectations and boundaries, and the other isn’t consistently sticking to them, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship.

What you get out of your friendships ultimately affects your physical and emotional health. It pays to focus your attention on strengthening healthy relationships and letting go of toxic friendships.

Luckily, most friendships are not too difficult to escape. Downgrade the friendship. Make yourself less accessible. If the relationship isn’t very close, merely drift apart.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to … Deal with Less Intelligent People
  2. Being Underestimated Can Be a Great Thing
  3. Stop Trying to Prove Yourself to the World
  4. Who Told You That Everybody Was Going to Like You?
  5. The Likeability Factor: Whose “Do Not Pair” List Includes You?

Filed Under: Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conflict, Getting Along, Likeability, Mindfulness, Relationships, Social Life, Social Skills

Inspirational Quotations #937

March 20, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi

It is not the facts which guide the conduct of men, but their opinions about facts; which may be entirely wrong. We can only make them right by discussion.
—Norman Angell (English Economist, Pacifist)

When occasions present themselves, in which the interests of the people are at variance with their inclinations, it is the duty of the persons whom they have appointed to be the guardians of those interests, to withstand the temporary delusion, in order to give them time and opportunity for more cool and sedate reflection.
—Alexander Hamilton (American Statesman)

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them.
—Simon Wiesenthal (Austrian Nazi-Hunter)

When you think you have a great idea, go out of your way to talk with someone who disagrees with it. At worst, you continue to disagree with them. More often, you’ll gain valuable perspective. Fight confirmation bias like the plague.
—Morgan Housel (American Financial Journalist, Investor)

This is a work of fiction. All the characters in it, human and otherwise, are imaginary, excepting only certain of the fairy folk, whom it might be unwise to offend by casting doubts on their existence. Or lack thereof.
—Neil Gaiman (British Writer)

To bear with patience wrongs done to oneself is a mark of perfection, but to bear with patience wrongs done to someone else is a mark of imperfection and even of actual sin.
—Thomas Aquinas (Italian Catholic Priest)

O, innocence, the sacred amulet against all the poisons of infirmity, and all misfortunes, injury, and death.
—George Chapman (English Poet, Playwright)

Anger represents a certain power, when a great mind, prevented from executing its own generous desires, is moved by it.
—Pietro Aretino (Italian Author)

Be as an cup, and the universe flows into you. Be as an arrow, and the universe retreats from you.
—Zen Proverb (Japanese School of Mahayana Buddhism)

Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean.
—Christopher Reeve (American Actor)

Death and taxes and childbirth! There’s never any convenient time for any of them!
—Margaret Mitchell (American Novelist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

The Best Breathing Exercise for Anxiety

March 17, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Diaphragmatic breathing (also called belly breathing and abdominal breathing) engages the diaphragm—that large, dome-shaped muscle at the base of the lungs, separating the chest cavity from the abdomen.

In Meditation for the Rest of Us (2009,) James Baltzell suggests observing sleeping babies and following their lead: draw air deep through your nose into their lungs, expanding the pulmonary cavity that houses your heart and lungs. The diaphragm moves down and fills your lungs with oxygen. New York-Presbyterian Hospital’s Dr. Chiti Parikh recommends starting out lying down so that the surface beneath can give you feedback on whether you’re breathing back into the back of your body:

Lie on your back, relax your muscles, and place one hand on the chest and the other on the belly. Take long, slow breaths in and out through your nose, and watch your hands as they move. Breathe in for four seconds, and then out for six. Over time, lengthen your exhales. Notice how, with shallow breaths, the chest moves, but with deep breathing, the belly moves too.

Don’t get aggravated as thoughts of worry or anxiety enter the mind. Don’t quell your unquiet mind. Gently acknowledge the thoughts and let your attention slip from them.

Idea for Impact: Learning to breathe deep, focus your attention, and relax is a skill that can help subdue stress and stay calm. Practice this exercise whenever you’re anxious and realize quick, shallow breathing. As with any skill, your ability to anchor your mind in the present moment will improve with practice.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Learn to Cope When You’re Stressed
  2. How to Encourage Yourself During Tough Times
  3. A Quick Way to De-stress: The “Four Corners Breathing” Exercise
  4. If Meditation Isn’t Working For You, Try Intermittent Silence
  5. The Law of Petty Irritations

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Anxiety, Balance, Emotions, Mindfulness, Stress, Worry

How You Can Make the Most of the Great Resignation

March 14, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The imminent return-to-work stage of the pandemic will spark yet another surge in people reexamining what their careers look like and reprioritizing their work values. My suggestion: Only quit if you have a better work- and life-choice; don’t resign out of empowerment. It’s better to be going toward something instead of going away from something.

Now, then, if you choose not to join the trend, you’ll have to cope with the void left by your coworkers and confront the extra demands. But this situation is a great chance for you to endure the tumult and even flourish. Here’s how.

If you’re swamped with the demands of your job, do a scope creep audit. Examine your original responsibilities and how you’ve picked up more work during the pandemic. Then meet with your boss and politely address the problem you’re facing, “Here’s what I was doing, and here’s how I’ve been allotting my time now. How could we reprioritize? What could we drop or delegate? What additional resources can you give me?” If you think you deserve a salary increase or better conditions, leverage your added value and ask for it. Give your manager a chance to address your issues. Don’t over-negotiate; it’s seldom worth the ill feelings.

Idea for Impact: The Great Resignation is an excellent time to stay at your job and make the most of the void. Recast yourself as an asset to your company amidst this apparent upheaval. With the buoyant jobs market and a heavier workload for those left behind, you may never be in a better negotiating position.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The #1 Cost of Overwork is Personal Relationships
  2. Five Questions to Keep Your Job from Driving You Nuts
  3. What’s Next When You Get Snubbed for a Promotion
  4. Five Questions to Spark Your Career Move
  5. Transient by Choice: Why Gen Z Is Renting More

Filed Under: Career Development, Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Career Planning, Human Resources, Managing the Boss, Personal Growth, Work-Life

Inspirational Quotations #936

March 13, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi

The status quo is the only solution that cannot be vetoed.
—Clark Kerr (American Educator)

The mark of a well educated person is not necessarily in knowing all the answers, but in knowing where to find them.
—Douglas Hugh Everett (British Physical Chemist)

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.
—Mark Twain (American Humorist)

Be unselfish. That is the first and final commandment for those who would be useful and happy in their usefulness. If you think of yourself only, you cannot develop because you are choking the source of development, which is spiritual expansion through thought for others.
—Charles William Eliot (American Educator)

You largely constructed your depression. It wasn’t given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.
—Albert Ellis (American Psychologist)

A certain amount of opposition is a great help to a man; it is what he wants and must have to be good for anything. Hardship and opposition are the native soil of manhood and self-reliance.
—John Neal (American Author, Critic)

The blackest despair that can take hold of any society is the fear that living honestly is futile.
—Corrado Alvaro (Italian Novelist)

There is much of economic theory which is pursued for no better reason than its intellectual attraction; it is a good game. We have no reason to be ashamed of that, since the same would hold for many branches of mathematics.
—John Hicks (English Economist)

In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual.
—Galileo Galilei (Italian Astronomer)

People wish to be poets more than they wish to write poetry, and that’s a mistake. One should wish to celebrate more than one wishes to be celebrated.
—Lucille Clifton (American Poet)

Death was afraid of him because he had the heart of a lion.
—Arabic Proverb

Butterflies… not quite birds, as they were not quite flowers, mysterious and fascinating as are all indeterminate creatures.
—Elizabeth Goudge (English Novelist)

Hitch your wagon to a star. Let us not fag in paltry works which serve our pot and bag alone.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Philosopher)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Ideas Evolve While Working on Something Unrelated

March 10, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In the ’90s, Japanese conglomerate Hitachi, through its subsidy Hitachi-Omron Terminal Solutions, introduced the Clean ATM, which cleaned the bank notes during transactions. The Baltimore Sun (11-Dec-1996) notes,

Hitachi has turned its talents to money-laundering of a literal kind, with an automated teller machine that sterilizes and irons yen notes before dispensing them.

Hitachi did not set out to sanitize the money; its engineers were trying to solve the problem of crumpled bills, which tended to jam machines, a company spokesman says. They solved the problem by running the bills through rollers heated to 392 degrees [Fahrenheit, 200 degrees Celsius]—any hotter would singe paper money—and discovered that the process also killed bacteria.

Idea for Impact: Serendipity is central to the creative process. Many ideas evolve when you’re working on something unrelated. Always be ready to discover what you’re not looking for.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Always Be Ready to Discover What You’re Not Looking For
  2. Unlocking Your Creative Potential: The Power of a Quiet Mind and Wandering Thoughts
  3. Luck Doesn’t Just Happen
  4. Van Gogh Didn’t Just Copy—He Reinvented
  5. The Rebellion of Restraint: Dogma 25 and the Call to Reinvent Cinema with Less

Filed Under: Business Stories, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills, The Great Innovators Tagged With: Creativity, Innovation, Luck, Problem Solving, Thinking Tools

It’s Not What You See; It’s How You See It

March 7, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Try to consider the sunny side of a situation rather than focusing on what’s wrong with it.

If it’s pouring rain, don’t upset yourself over plans hampered or stress about getting drenched. Instead, relish the splendor of landscape under the grey sky, delight in the pattering noise of the rain, and savor how the flowers have their heads as if to rest. Appreciate how rain is the great facilitator of life. And use this as a perfect excuse to curl up with a good book and chill out.

It’s not what you see; it’s how you see it.

Got a demanding new boss? Bring to mind all the things you can learn from her—including what not to do as a manager.

Reframing allows you an expanded view of your reality. You can move your experience from a negative frame to a more hopeful one, filled with opportunities.

How you frame something can change everything. When you change your point of view, the facts of the situation remain the same. But the shift in your emotional tone changes the meaning that you give to the situation.

Idea for Impact: Practice cognitive control. Learn how to put things in perspective.

When something or somebody annoys you, shift your attention. Ask, “What’s right about this? What’s to be appreciated about this?” Imagine the best possible outcomes.

Reframing an event or stimulus changes your emotional response to it—and it helps keep stress in check.

Changing the way you see the world is not a denial. It doesn’t imply naive optimism. Instead, it is the purging of mental pollutants such as dislike and anger—even aggression—that poison the mind and disable you from finding refuge in presence.

In Buddhism, the opposite of pleasure is not pain but delusion.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Law of Petty Irritations
  2. Imagine a Better Response
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  5. Summary of Richard Carlson’s ‘Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff’

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Emotions, Introspection, Mindfulness, Stoicism, Thought Process, Wisdom

Inspirational Quotations #935

March 6, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi

A man can do all things if he but wills them.
—Leon Battista Alberti (Italian Architect)

Some lives drift here and there like reeds in a stream, depending on changing currents for their activity. Others are like swimmers knowing the depth of the water. Each stroke helps them onward to a definite objective.
—Margaret Sanger (American Social Reformer)

Better to trust the man who is frequently in error than the one who is never in doubt.
—Eric Sevareid (American Broadcast Journalist)

Hope never abandons you, you abandon it.
—George Weinberg (American Psychologist)

To me success means effectiveness in the world, that I am able to carry my ideas and values into the world—that I am able to change it in positive ways.
—Maxine Hong Kingston (American Novelist, Memoirist)

Man is the most intelligent of the animals—and the most silly.
—Diogenes Laertius (Greek Biographer)

Regret is an odd emotion because it comes only upon reflection. Regret lacks immediacy, and so its power seldom influences events when it could do some good.
—Edward William O’Rourke (American Catholic Priest)

Remember that there is a meaning beyond absurdity. Be sure that every little deed counts, that every word has power. Never forget that you can still do your share to redeem the world in spite of all absurdities and frustrations and disappointments.
—Abraham Joshua Heschel (American Jewish Rabbi)

Reason is the director of man’s will, discovering in action what is good, for the laws of well-doing are the dictates of right reason.
—Thomas Hooker (American Clergyman)

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination.
—Tommy Lasorda (American Baseball Player, Coach)

Thinking is like loving and dying. Each of us must do it for himself.
—Josiah Royce (American Philosopher)

God gives to us according to the measure of our hearts.
—Persian Proverb

Life is neither a good nor an evil, but simply the scene of good and evil.
—Seneca the Younger (Lucius Annaeus Seneca) (Roman Stoic Philosopher)

Every great work of art has two faces, one toward its own time and one toward the future, toward eternity.
—Daniel Barenboim (Israeli Pianist, Conductor)

To know how to dispense with things is to possess them.
—Jean-Francois Regnard (French Dramatist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Popular Now

Anxiety Assertiveness Attitudes Balance Biases Coaching Conflict Conversations Creativity Critical Thinking Decision-Making Discipline Emotions Entrepreneurs Etiquette Feedback Getting Along Getting Things Done Goals Great Manager Innovation Leadership Leadership Lessons Likeability Mental Models Mentoring Mindfulness Motivation Networking Parables Performance Management Persuasion Philosophy Problem Solving Procrastination Relationships Simple Living Social Skills Stress Suffering Thinking Tools Thought Process Time Management Winning on the Job Wisdom

About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

Get Updates

Signup for emails

Subscribe via RSS

Contact Nagesh Belludi

RECOMMENDED BOOK:
Made in America

Made in America: Sam Walton

Walmart founder Sam Walton’s very educational, insightful, and stimulating autobiography is teeming with his relentless search for better ideas.

Explore

  • Announcements
  • Belief and Spirituality
  • Business Stories
  • Career Development
  • Effective Communication
  • Great Personalities
  • Health and Well-being
  • Ideas and Insights
  • Inspirational Quotations
  • Leadership
  • Leadership Reading
  • Leading Teams
  • Living the Good Life
  • Managing Business Functions
  • Managing People
  • MBA in a Nutshell
  • Mental Models
  • News Analysis
  • Personal Finance
  • Podcasts
  • Project Management
  • Proverbs & Maxims
  • Sharpening Your Skills
  • The Great Innovators

Recently,

  • Ridicule Is Often the Tax Levied on Originality: The Case of Ice King Frederic Tudor
  • Inspirational Quotations #1146
  • Offering a Chipotle Burrito at a Dollar is Not a Bargain but a Betrayal of Dignity
  • Gut Instinct as Compressed Reason—Why Disney Walked Away from Twitter in 2016
  • The Tyranny of Previous Success: How John Donahoe’s Tech Playbook Made Nike Uncool
  • Inspirational Quotations #1145
  • Values Are Easier to Espouse Than to Embody: Howard Schultz Dodges the Wealth Tax

Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!