Nagesh Belludi

Avoid the Trap of Desperate Talk

November 7, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Avoid the Trap of Desperate Talk Whether you’re hunting for a job, negotiating a raise, or seeking a romantic partner, exuding confidence is key. But keeping up that confidence can be tough when you’re feeling desperate.

Desperation often leads to fixating on a single goal, which can create overwhelming pressure and cloud your judgment. This can make the stakes seem higher than they actually are.

Watch out for words and phrases in your thinking that convey desperation or a high level of pressure, such as “must,” “always,” “have to,” “need to,” “cannot afford to,” “unacceptable,” “critical,” and “urgent.”

Instead of stressing, “I can’t afford to mess up this interview,” try thinking, “I’ll prepare as best as I can and give it my all. Whatever happens, it’s a valuable learning experience.”
Instead of “I must please everyone,” tell yourself, “I’ll be considerate and respectful to everyone’s opinions, but it’s okay if I can’t make everyone happy all the time. My main focus should be staying true to myself and my values.”
Instead of pleading, “You must let me help you,” say, “I’d really like to help. If it’s not a good fit, no worries—there are others who might benefit more.”

Just like the proverbial mouse with only one hole is easily trapped, relying on a single option leaves you vulnerable if that option fails. Having alternatives or backup plans helps you avoid being caught off guard by unexpected issues.

If you’re going to a job interview, continue seeking other opportunities. Before asking for a raise, consider other requests like training, flexible hours, or an assistant. Before renegotiating your salary, explore the market—there might be other employers eager to offer you a competitive salary.

Idea for Impact: Build redundancy and flexibility into your plans to ensure greater security and resilience. Keep your options open and avoid putting all your eggs in one basket.

New Rules of Language for the Digitally Baffled: Summary of Gretchen McCulloch’s ‘Because Internet’

November 4, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In Because Internet: Understanding the New Rules of Language (2019,) Canadian linguist Gretchen McCulloch explores the ever-evolving dynamics of language in the digital age. She explains numerous quirky details about how people type in text messages—those oddities you’ve probably noticed but never really understood.

The shift toward brevity and the informal nature of online communication have reshaped the way we interact, often giving the impression of a decline in linguistic standards—much to the frustration of prescriptivists who cling to traditional language rules.

Internet writing is a distinct genre with its own goals, and to accomplish those goals successfully requires a subtly tuned awareness of the full spectrum of the language. … Language is a thing that lives in the minds of individual humans at individual points in time, a thing that can’t be fully encompassed in a static list of uses like a game of chess.

McCulloch presents an engaging analysis of how new words, phrases, and slang continue to emerge and spread globally at an unprecedented rate, driven largely by social media. Rather than lamenting the habits of “kids these days,” she embraces the evolution of modern language, encouraging a fresh appreciation for the quirky, unpredictable, and often amusing ways we now communicate online.

Throughout the book, McCulloch uncovers the curious nuances of texting—subtle details you’ve likely noticed but never fully understood. As an exercise in descriptivism, the book provides keen insights into the fluid nature of language in the digital age: why sparkly tildes became shorthand for sarcasm, how emojis are replacing words, and the linguistic significance of internet dialects like doge, lolspeak, and snek. You’ll also learn why your teenager replies “LOL” when nothing funny was said.

Now more than ever in history, communication extends beyond mere words; it’s about how we connect. It’s a game of linguistic dodgeball, filled with fast, cryptic slang, witty retorts that often mean the opposite of what they say, and so much brevity that half the message gets lost. You’re never quite sure if someone’s complimenting you or subtly roasting you!

Read Because Internet if you’re a writer, reader, social media user, or just someone who enjoys a good language deep dive. This sharp and witty blend of humor and analysis will have you second-guessing every text, status update, and tweet you’ve ever sent—often revealing more about yourself than you realized! It’s the perfect guide for anyone eager to stay “in the know” and navigate the ever-shifting, often bewildering language of social media culture.

Inspirational Quotations #1074

November 3, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi

The course of true love never did run smooth.
—William Shakespeare (British Playwright)

People who make no mistakes lack boldness and the spirit of adventure. They are the brakes on the wheels of progress.
—Dale Turner (American Congregational Priest)

Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.
—Anton Chekhov (Russian Short Story Writer)

Happy people are ignoramuses and glory is nothing else but success, and to achieve it one only has to be cunning.
—Mikhail Lermontov (Russian Novelist, Poet)

All achievement, all earned riches, have their beginning in an idea!
—Napoleon Hill (American Author)

Heaven and God are best discerned through tears; scarcely perhaps are discerned at all without them. The constant association of prayer with the hour of bereavement and the scenes of death suffice to show this.
—James Martineau (English Unitarian Theologian)

The wisdom of one generation will be the folly of the next, and yet we persist in making preceding generations dictate to the succeeding ones.
—Joseph Priestley (English Clergyman, Scientist)

The fool thinks himself alone and commits sin. But I know of no lonely place at all… . Of a bad action my “Self” is a witness far more sharp-sighted than any other person.
—The Jataka Tales (Genre of Buddhist Literature)

Everything is evil. I mean, everything that is, is wicked; every existing thing is an evil; everything exists for a wicked end. Existence is a wickedness and is ordained for wickedness. Evil is the end, the final purpose, of the universe…The only good is nonbeing; the only really good thing is the thing that is not, things that are not things; all things are bad.
—Giacomo Leopardi (Italian Poet)

Unrest of the spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure.
—Karl Menninger (American Psychiatrist)

Truth is the breath of life to human society. It is the food of the immortal spirit. Yet a single word of it may kill a man as suddenly as a drop of prussic acid.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (American Physician, Essayist)

Care not for time and success. Act out thy part, whether it be to fail or to prosper.
—Sri Aurobindo (Indian Mystic, Philosopher, Poet)

How to … Overcome Impact Blindness and Make Decisions with Long-Term Clarity

October 31, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Overcome Impact Blindness and Make Decisions with Long-Term Clarity Many of us struggle to say ‘no’ and end up overwhelmed by tasks dumped on our laps. While busyness may be worn like a badge of honor these days, it doesn’t mean it’s good for you. In fact, being busy for the sake of it often just adds stress without yielding real progress.

The key to doing less and achieving more lies in overcoming what psychologists call Impact Blindness. This involves consciously evaluating the long-term effects of your decisions and shifting your focus from immediate tasks to outcomes that genuinely matter.

There’s a significant difference between being busy and being productive, and even more so between being productive and achieving the right results. By letting go of low-impact tasks, you can free yourself from unrealistic deadlines and idealistic expectations. It’s perfectly okay to drop a few balls—no one is going to take your job away or stop loving you for it.

Idea for Impact: Take a moment to reflect on the pressure you feel to be everything to everyone and to do everything perfectly. Are you creating your own stress?

How to … Escape the Overthinking Trap

October 28, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Escape the Overthinking Trap: Shift Focus, Let Go, and Cultivate Resilience Spending too much time trapped in your own head, especially when those thoughts are critical or judgmental, can take a serious toll on your emotional health. This is particularly true when you’re stuck replaying unwanted memories or negative experiences. We often give our thoughts more weight than they deserve, and rarely do we see ourselves with the clear-eyed objectivity needed.

When you feel overwhelmed by these thoughts, break the cycle by redirecting your focus to a different activity or line of thinking. It’s important to remember that rumination isn’t the same as problem-solving or planning—it’s unproductive dwelling.

One effective strategy is to set aside a specific time to address your concerns. Give yourself a set window to think things through. You’ll often find that you either run out of things to worry about before the time is up or make progress, even if it’s just a small step forward. This “worry time” helps prevent rumination from creeping in throughout the day, allowing you to stay on track with other tasks.

Another tip is to write down your thoughts instead of letting them spiral inside your head. Constant self-criticism is counterproductive and only deepens the problem. Jot down a brief summary of what’s on your mind. Remember, many issues tend to work themselves out with time or lose their importance altogether. Talking to someone else can also help you gain a fresh perspective.

Idea for Impact: Focusing too much on yourself can set impossible expectations and lead to frustration. Instead of worrying about things you can’t control, shift your energy toward what you can influence, and let the rest go. Resilience—the ability to bounce back from setbacks—is one of the key traits that distinguishes successful people from the rest.

Inspirational Quotations #1073

October 27, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi

Inspiration never arrived when you were searching for it.
—Lisa Alther (American Novelist)

The writer does the most good who gives his reader the most knowledge and takes from him the least time.
—Sydney Smith (English Preacher)

Listen, my friend! Your helplessness is your best prayer. It calls from your heart to the heart of God with greater effect than all your uttered pleas. He hears it from the very moment that you are seized with helplessness, and He becomes actively engaged at once in hearing and answering the prayer of your helplessness.
—Ole Hallesby (Norwegian Theologian)

Think of yourself as an incandescent power, illuminated and perhaps forever talked to by God and his messengers.
—Brenda Ueland (American Journalist Memoirist)

If there were dreams to sell, what would you buy?
—Thomas Lovell Beddoes (English Poet)

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.
—Albert Einstein (German-born Theoretical Physicist)

Long absent, soon forgotten.
—Common Proverb

Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort.
—Humphry Davy (British Chemist)

Attention is the most basic form of love. By paying attention we let ourselves be touched by life, and our hearts naturally become more open and engaged.
—Tara Brach (American Psychologist, Author)

One golden day redeems a weary year.
—Celia Thaxter (American Poet)

Tyranny cannot defeat the power of ideas.
—Helen Keller (American Author)

In many lines of work, it isn’t how much you do that counts, but how much you do well and how often you decide right.
—William Feather (American Author, Publisher)

Where slavery is, there liberty cannot be; and where liberty is, there slavery cannot be.
—Charles Sumner (American Statesman)

We are all failures—at least, the best of us are.
—J. M. Barrie (Scottish Novelist)

How to … Embrace the Transience of Emotions

October 26, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to Embrace the Transience of Emotions Buddhism teaches that developing a mindful and compassionate relationship with your emotions means seeing them as temporary states rather than defining parts of who you are. By accepting and acknowledging feelings like anxiety and depression without judgment or attachment, you allow them to come and go naturally.

Sociologist and Buddhist therapist Kamilah Majied writes in Joyfully Just: Black Wisdom and Buddhist Insights for Liberated Living (2024):

It is important to develop friendly relationships with our painful emotions so that we don’t become anxious about feeling anxious or depressed about feeling depressed. If we can welcome feelings as natural states that pass eventually, we can know great peace.

It can also be useful to not identify with a painful feeling, because at the same time you are experiencing it, you are also experiencing other feelings. So instead of saying “I am depressed,” you might say, “I notice some depression moving through me.”

What other feelings are moving through you? Are there any pleasant feelings in there? These kinds of reflective practices can help you balance your awareness and be more connected to the possibilities for peace and joy in each moment.

Idea for Impact: Remember, you’re more than just your feelings—they don’t define who you are. Bearing this in mind, you won’t get overwhelmed by them or let them control your sense of self. This perspective helps you better understand the constant shifts in your experiences.

How to … Gracefully Exit a Conversation at a Party

October 24, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If your interlocutor seems to be plotting an escape (e.g., avoiding eye contact or fixating on the snack table,) let them off the hook.

When you’re ready to end a conversation but it just won’t quit, use the magic phrase “I need” to make your exit.

“I need to grab some food.”
“I need to catch up with Jane over there; it’s been two years!”
“Oh, there’s Ralph—let me introduce you. He’s an opera buff, too.”

Refilling your drink, heading to the bathroom, offering to help the host, greeting a new arrival, or keeping an eye on your teenager are also perfectly valid reasons to exit a conversation.

Idea for Impact: The key to a graceful exit is to be quick and decisive. Often, a simple “excuse me” does the trick—no need to over-explain.

How to … Identify your Strengths

October 23, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to ... Identify your Strengths Identifying your strengths involves some self-reflection, feedback, and a bit of exploration:

Tune into the buzz. Ask colleagues, friends, and family when they’ve seen you at your best. Don’t shy away from your toughest critics; their feedback often highlights how your skills truly shine.
Spot what feels effortless. What tasks come naturally to you while others struggle? Reflect on the skills you use to tackle challenges with ease.
Track what makes time fly and energizes you. What activities have you so engrossed that you lose track of time? Which roles or tasks make you feel alive and engaged? If you’re in school, think about the subjects you ace.

By piecing together these clues, you’ll uncover your core strengths and turn them into your secret weapons for success.

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