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Ideas for Impact

Nagesh Belludi

Inspirational Quotations #213

March 24, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.
—Cicero (Roman Philosopher)

In the end, management doesn’t change culture. Management invites the workforce itself to change the culture.
—Louis V. Gerstner Jr.

Mothers are not paid for their work because it is priceless.
—Unknown

A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.
—Leo Buscaglia (American Motivational Speaker)

Triumph is the extra umph added to the try.
—Unknown

Happiness, to me, lies in stretching, to the farthest boundaries of which we are capable, the resources of the mind and heart.
—Leo Rosten (Russian-born American Humorist)

Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Learn new skills to achieve your goals in life.
—Unknown

I would rather feel compassion than know the meaning of it.
—Thomas Aquinas (Italian Catholic Priest)

What is ours to do comes so easily, because from the very beginning it has always been there.
—Michael Jones

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #212

March 16, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
—Mohandas K. Gandhi (Indian Hindu Political leader)

Love is the greatest gift we can give or be given.
—Unknown

The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.
—Arthur Brisbane (American Journalist)

Faith that the thing can be done is essential to any great achievement.
—Thomas N. Carruthers

Study as if you were going to live forever; live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
—Maria Mitchell

The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.
—Vidal Sassoon

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.
—Henry Van Dyke

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
—Oscar Wilde (Irish Poet)

Life is a long lesson in humility.
—J. M. Barrie (Scottish Novelist)

The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.
—Jiddu Krishnamurti (Indian Philosopher)

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.
—Henry Van Dyke

Man succeeds because he believes he can, or he fails because he thinks he will.
—Unknown

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #211

March 10, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It is easy for others to put you down when they are simply agreeing with you.
—Unknown

There is a definite process by which one made people into friends, and it involved talking to them and listening to them for hours at a time.
—Rebecca West (English Author)

We shall not cease from exploration|And the end of all our exploring|Will be to arrive where we started|And know the place for the first time.
—T. S. Eliot (American-born British Poet)

To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.
—Benjamin Franklin (American Political leader)

Here, you have the remote. We’re lost. Let’s stop and ask for directions. Why don’t we go and see a romantic film for a change. No, let me take out the rubbish. I’ll just separate the white clothes from the coloured ones. Isn’t it my turn to change the baby? I’ll turn off the rugby so we can talk.
—Unknown

Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things of life.
—James F. Byrnes (American Elected Representative)

Life is like a book. You can’t look at the beginning and the end and know what it’s all about. You have to live it all the way through.
—Unknown

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #210

March 3, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

No man needs sympathy because he has to work. Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
—Theodore Roosevelt (American Head of State)

When you sing don’t worry about the sound you hear or you’ll miss the music you could make.
—Unknown

The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand.
—Sun Tzu (Chinese Military Leader)

Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.
—Edgard Varese

You can take the day off—but you can’t put it back on again.
—Unknown

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
—Victor Borge

To be old and wise, you first have to be young and stupid.
—Unknown

The spirit of a person’s life is ever shedding some power, just as a flower is steadily bestowing fragrance upon the air.
—Thomas Starr King (American Unitarian Minister)

Adversity is a severe instructor, set over us by one who knows us better than we do ourselves, as he loves us better too. He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper. This conflict with difficulty makes us acquainted with our object, and compels us to consider it in all its relations. It will not suffer us to be superficial.
—Edmund Burke (Irish Political leader)

All is for the best in the best of the possible worlds.
—Voltaire (French Philosopher)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #209

February 26, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
—Unknown

Go to college and get some knowledge. Stay there till you’re through. If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.
—Muhammad Ali (American Sportsperson)

Your talent is God’s gift to you; what you do with it is your gift to God.
—Leo Buscaglia (American Motivational Speaker)

Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours.
—Dale Carnegie (American Author)

The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.
—J. M. Barrie (Scottish Novelist)

No matter how old you are, you are always somebody’s child, and if you are loved, you are always in somebody’s thoughts.
—Unknown

Whether the philosophers praise him or criticize, whether wealth enters the house or goes away as it wishes, whether death is today itself or after an eon, great men never step a foot away from the path of justice.
—Subhashita Manjari

Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
—James Bryant Conant (American Chemist)

Not being able to do everything is no excuse for not doing everything you can.
—Ashleigh Brilliant (British Cartoonist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Manager Tools’ Feedback Model

February 23, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi 2 Comments

Preamble

The last two articles discussed the popular ‘sandwich technique‘ for giving interpersonal feedback. The first article introduced the sandwich feedback technique. The second article critiqued this method and discussed three common mistakes that render the sandwich technique ineffective.

This follow-up article will introduce an effective feedback technique and list links for further information.

This article focuses on manager-to-employee feedback. However this feedback model can be the foundation for giving feedback in other interpersonal contexts as well—between peers or between spouses, for instance.

The Manager Tools Feedback Model

Manager Tools is a widely-admired suite of management techniques to help shape effective managers and leaders. The weekly podcasts on this site feature Manager Tools’ principals, Mark Horstman and Mike Auzenne, discussing their tools and tips to help audiences advance their managerial and leadership skills. The discussion forums are useful as well.

Perhaps the most popular and most effective of the Manager Tools ideas is the effective feedback model. Here is a summary of the four steps in this feedback technique.

  1. Ask an employee whether they are open to some feedback. Example: “Jack, may I give you some feedback?”
  2. Describe specific behavior you saw, heard, or read about. Example: “Jack, when you roll your eyes in meetings when others talk; when you say “you guys don’t get it”; when you come late to meetings and leave in the middle…”
  3. Describe the impact of the behavior. Once you have described what you observed, tell them what you felt or what impact it had on the company, project, or team. Example: “Jack, when you roll your eyes and tell others they “don’t get it”, here’s what happens. We lose good people. You lose opportunities you want, like that last move that you didn’t get.”
  4. Discuss next steps. Even with affirmative (positive) feedback, state “Good work. Keep it up.” For corrective (negative) feedback, ask open-ended or leading questions to encourage the employee to suggest change. Example: “What can you do about this? How can I help you?”

Further Information

Here are links to podcasts and references for further information on the Manager Tools effective feedback model.

  • Effective feedback model: podcast on the four-step technique and the corresponding summary sheet.
  • Podcast on frequently asked questions on the effective feedback model
  • Podcast on tailoring feedback to distinct employee communication styles.
  • Podcast on adapting the feedback model for giving feedback to peers.
  • A list of podcasts for advancing managerial and leadership’s skills.

Call for Action

Feedback is a central component of the manager-employee relationship. Employees get better at their jobs only when their managers give them timely, relevant and forthright feedback—both affirmative and corrective feedback.

Use the Manager Tools feedback model to enhance your feedback skills and communicate effectively with employees.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to Give A Compliment Sandwich Feedback
  2. Why the Compliment Sandwich Feedback Technique is Ineffective
  3. The Puppy Theory: Giving Feedback Too Late
  4. Fear of Feedback: Won’t Give, Don’t Ask
  5. Think of a Customer’s Complaint as a Gift

Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Conversations, Feedback

Why the Compliment Sandwich Feedback Technique is Ineffective

February 22, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi

Sandwich feedback technique

Yesterday’s article presented the popular ‘sandwich technique’ for giving interpersonal feedback. This follow-up article will critique this method and discuss three common mistakes that render the sandwich technique ineffective.

These discussions and examples focus on manager-to-employee feedback. However, this analysis is relevant to other interpersonal contexts, including interactions between peers or between spouses.

Mary Kay Ash on the Sandwich Technique

Mary Kay Ash, American entrepreneur and founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, discusses the sandwich feedback technique in her popular book, ‘Mary Kay on People Management’.

'Mary Kay on People Management' by Mary Kay Ash (ISBN 0446513148) Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. … A manager should be able to tell someone when something is wrong without bruising an ego in the process.

Never giving criticism without praise is a strict rule for me. No matter what you are criticizing, you must find something good to say—both before and after. This is called sandwich technique.

Try to praise in the beginning and then again after discussing the problem. You don’t subject people to harsh criticism or provoke anger.

Common Mistake 1: Praise is substantial and obscures the criticism

Sandwich feedback: when praise obscures criticism Consider the following case. Sarah was the head of a committee that organized the annual family picnic at her company. The committee exceeded the picnic budget by 35%. Sarah’s boss uses the sandwich technique to criticize her for her failure to control expenditure.

  • Praise: “Sarah, our management was very impressed with the attendance at our annual family picnic. The weather was great. The catered food was excellent. The activities for children were wonderful. You even organized contests for children and family.”
  • Criticism: “By the way, you overspent by 35%. You should check your expenses and try to be within budget.”
  • Praise: “I understand you worked very hard to coordinate the logistics. I congratulate you for doing a remarkable job leading the committee and for your enthusiasm. Thank you for a job well done.”

In the above example, the praise is substantial and obscures the criticism. Sarah may neglect the criticism since the criticism is insignificant—therefore, lost—when sandwiched between “heavy layers of praise.”

Common Mistake 2: Praise is trivial or just-for-sake and serves no function

Sandwich feedback: when feedback is trivial or just for sake Suppose that Charlie led a brainstorming meeting for a new product. One of his new fresh-from-college employees proposed an idea that was not practicable. Charlie was annoyed with the idea and responded, “That is a stupid idea. You are thoughtless. You have been here for less than a week. I don’t think you are knowledgeable enough to contribute to our discussions here.”

Janet, Charlie’s boss, observed this interaction. After the meeting, she wanted to criticize Charlie for condemning the new employee in the presence of several other employees. Janet recalled the sandwich feedback technique. However, she could not conceive praise for Charlie. Hastily, she stated something trivial just for the sake of paving the way to her criticism.

  • Praise: “Charlie, good job organizing the meeting.”
  • Criticism: “I noticed that you openly called the new employee’s idea “foolish” and dismissed it. Don’t you realize he is fresh from college? Did you see his reaction? He felt dejected and showed no enthusiasm during the rest of the meeting. He was probably there to meet people from our department and learn how we manage projects. How can you expect him to feel happy about joining your team? I have noticed that you jump to criticize other people’s ideas in meetings. A good manager encourages participation. I think you should apologize to the new employee. [Pause]”
  • Praise: “Hmm … anyway. Good meeting. I liked your flowchart.”

As in the above example, for the sake of sandwiching their criticism, managers tend to offer unrelated—often trivial—praises when faced with the challenge of criticizing their employees. Such praise is inconsequential and, therefore, defeats the purpose of the sandwich technique.

Common Mistake 3: Employees get tuned in to the praise-criticism-praise pattern

Sandwich feedback: employees get tuned in to the pattern Once managers use the sandwich feedback technique a few times, employees recognize the praise-criticism-praise pattern. They realize that the managers offer criticism after initiating their conversations with praise. Subsequently they learn to discount this praise since such praise is just a lead-in to the criticism.

Idea for Impact: Compliment Sandwiches are Easily Spotted as Inauthentic; The Sandwich Feedback Technique is Ineffective

Frequently, from the aforementioned mistakes, the sandwich technique undercuts praise with criticism. A praise followed by criticism undermines the positive impact of praise and weakens the corrective feedback’s significance.

Sandwich feedback is perhaps best used to help new managers develop feedback skills: to provide affirmative feedback to encourage employees to repeat desired behaviors and to offer corrective feedback to influence change. Once managers are comfortable giving feedback, they can focus on discussing what their employees do right and defer offering corrective feedback for other conversations.

In summary, it’s best to be direct when giving feedback, because the compliment sandwiches are easily spotted as inauthentic. Feedback is effective only when it’s timely, relevant and forthright. Tomorrow’s article will introduce an effective feedback technique.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. A Guide to Your First Management Role // Book Summary of Julie Zhuo’s ‘The Making of a Manager’
  2. Should Staff Be Allowed to Do ‘Life Admin’ at Work?
  3. Nothing Like a Word of Encouragement to Provide a Lift
  4. The Difference between Coaching and Feedback
  5. Never Criticize Little, Trivial Faults

Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Conversations, Feedback

How to Give A Compliment Sandwich Feedback

February 20, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi 23 Comments

Sandwich Feedback Technique

This article presents the popular ‘compliment sandwich technique’ for giving interpersonal feedback. Tomorrow’s follow-up article will critique this method and discuss three common mistakes that render the sandwich technique ineffective.

These discussions and examples focus on manager-to-employee feedback. This analysis is, however, relevant to other interpersonal contexts—between peers or spouses, for instance.

Managers Often Resent Giving Corrective Feedback

Feedback is a central component of the manager-employee relationship. Often, managers are reluctant resent giving corrective (or negative) feedback. They assume employee defensiveness and fear that negative feedback will offend the employee and thus affect their rapport with the employee. Such managers are likely to withhold criticism. They fail to provide timely, relevant feedback in various circumstances, from employee tardiness to inappropriate attire (especially if the employee is of the opposite gender.)

Sandwich Feedback & Purported Benefits

The sandwich feedback technique is a popular three-step procedure to help managers who are ill at ease with providing corrective feedback. The sandwich feedback method consists of praise followed by corrective feedback followed by more praise. In other words, the sandwich feedback method involves discussing corrective feedback that is “sandwiched” between two layers of praise.

The purported benefits of this technique are twofold: (1) it softens the impact of the criticism or corrective feedback, and, (2) given that a manager is probably more comfortable with praising the employee, the manager finds it easier to discuss problems with the employee’s behavior if this discussion begins and ends with praising the employee.

Compliment Sandwich Feedback: Example 1

Suppose that Andy, a new employee at a financial services firm, attended a week-long, offsite training program in New York. Each night during his stay at a hotel, Andy purchased on-demand movies in his room. He included the corresponding $65 charge in his expense report. Andy also dined at very pricey restaurants.

Jean, Andy’s manager, received the expense report for approval. Clearly, the charge for the movies had no business-justification. Jean uses the sandwich feedback technique to decline reimbursement for this expense and instruct Andy to be more prudent about expenses when traveling:

  • Praise: “Andy, I am impressed with your development since you joined my team last month. You have used the skills you learned during your training in New York to systematically review our customer’s accounts.”
  • Criticism: “By the way, earlier this morning, I was reviewing the expense report from your trip to New York. I notice a $65 charge for on-demand movies. I have to deny this expense since it has no business-justification. I also noticed very expensive meals. I will approve these charges this time. Given our limited travel budgets, I would ask you to be more careful about your trip expenses. You are probably not aware of our company’s travel policy. I have asked Human Resources to give you a copy of our travel policy booklet that details the acceptable expense report practices.”
  • Praise: “I am glad you were able to use the skills you learned at this training in New York. I appreciate your hard work and persistence with this customer. Keep up the good work.”

Compliment Sandwich Feedback: Example 2

Assume Sofia led a brainstorming meeting for an important project. Habitually, Sofia does not circulate the agendas prior to the meetings she leads. After one such meeting, Sofia’s manager uses the sandwich feedback technique to persuade her to be more organized:

  • Praise: “Sofia, we had a very productive meeting. We had the right participants and collected all the necessary inputs from other departments. Thanks for your coordination.”
  • Criticism: “Did you notice that the discussions were unsystematic? When you do not distribute an agenda prior to the meeting, the participants do not come prepared. During the meeting, they have to go back to their desks to collect information. Additionally, we tend to spend a lot of time digressing from the meeting objectives. How can you avoid this?” A discussion ensues.
  • Praise: “You are doing so well with gathering all the inputs. I am pleased about your diligence in circulating minutes of your meetings and following-up on action items. “

Concluding Thoughts

The sandwich feedback technique enables a manager to restructure feedback so it is easier to deliver. The technique also reinforces good behavior and asks for improvements.

Tomorrow’s article will discuss, with simple examples, three common mistakes that defeat the purpose of sandwiching corrective feedback between two layers of praise. In summary, it’s best to be direct when giving feedback, because the compliment sandwiches are easily spotted as inauthentic.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. A Guide to Your First Management Role // Book Summary of Julie Zhuo’s ‘The Making of a Manager’
  2. Should Staff Be Allowed to Do ‘Life Admin’ at Work?
  3. Giving Feedback and Depersonalizing It: Summary of Kim Scott’s ‘Radical Candor’
  4. Nothing Like a Word of Encouragement to Provide a Lift
  5. The Difference between Coaching and Feedback

Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Conversations, Feedback

Inspirational Quotations #208

February 17, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind.
—Jiddu Krishnamurti (Indian Philosopher)

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
—Helen Hayes (American Actor)

We’re drowning in information and starving for knowledge.
—Rutherford D. Rogers

Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is one less scoundrel in the world.
—Thomas Carlyle (Scottish Writer)

Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
—James Bryant Conant (American Chemist)

I’ve learned one thing during my time on the soccer fields:
It’s amazing how fast you can run
And the things you can do when you have a goal in mind.
It applies to the rest of my life, too.
—Unknown

Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other—it doesn’t matter who it is—and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.
—Mother Teresa (Albanian Catholic Humanitarian)

Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.
—Theodore Newton Vail

There is only one happiness in life–to love and be loved.
—George Sand (French Novelist, Dramatist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

The Power of Apology

February 15, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Value of Apology in Customer Service

Southwest Airlines is perhaps one of best-run airlines in the world and a pioneer of the low-cost-carrier model. The company’s culture and focus on customer service are legendary. A recent article on the company’s official blog discusses the value of apologies.

Don’t be afraid to say “I’m sorry.”

People often misunderstand the intent of an apology. It is not an admission of fault. It’s an acknowledgment of a bad experience-no matter what happened. It’s doesn’t mean the Customer is always right-there’s no need to support, tolerate, or reward abusive behavior.

When things don’t go according to plan, an apology provides the opportunity to offer the Customer an assurance that you care about their feelings. An apology lets you reach out to the Customers who are affected by acknowledging the disruption/inconvenience, offering your assistance, providing an explanation, and letting them know you’re working to prevent a repeat performance (if applicable).

If you don’t know the answer to a question, it’s okay to admit that-just don’t speculate and be sure you let the Customer know that you will try to provide them with an answer within a reasonable timeframe.

Call for Action: Learn to Express Regret

In business, social or personal settings, many of us balk at offering apologies, even if we are wrong. We do not realize that a sincere expression of regret is healing: an honest ‘I am sorry’ can soften negative emotions (anger, resentment, etc.) our actions trigger in other people. An apology can restore goodwill and mend relationships.

Here are three steps to an apology.

  1. Take responsibility and acknowledge the impact of your actions. “I realize … I caused …”
  2. Express regret for your actions. “I am sorry.”
  3. Offer a remedy and pledge to change. “I will improve.”

Here is an example. Suppose you promised to watch a movie with your spouse on Valentine’s Day. However, your boss asked you to attend a late-evening teleconference with an international client. You could not go home in good time for the movie. Your spouse is upset. Say, “I realize I am late for the movie. I regret I did not excuse myself from the meeting early. I am sorry. Shall we watch the movie on Friday evening?”

The secret to truthful apologies is to keep your apology-statements straightforward and short. Do not attempt to explain or rationalize your behavior–these just dilute the sincerity of your apology.

Related Articles

  • Expressing regret or apologizing is critical component of leadership—excerpt from Marshall Goldsmith’s ‘What Got You Here Won’t Get You There.’

Filed Under: Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Ryan Holiday describes how a lack of humility can impede a full, successful life. Lessons: be humble and persistent; value discipline and results, not passion and confidence. Be less, do more.

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