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Nagesh Belludi

This Year, Be Selfish; Your Needs Belong to the Top

January 10, 2014 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Your needs belong to the top

You’ve worked hard for your employer.

You’ve worked hard for your family.

You’ve worked hard for your friends.

You’ve worked hard even for your community.

When was the last time you worked hard FOR YOURSELF?

When was the last time you put in long hours on the things that bring you joy? How hard have you worked lately on your hobbies, on your meaningful enjoyment, or on your well-being? When was the last time you rewarded yourself?

What in the world became of YOUR deep-seated need for happiness?

You will become what you will settle for

Given your long to-do list, it’s easy to skip or neglect your own personal needs. When others place demands on your time, your first resort is to cut out the things that are most important to you.

With the arrival of each New Year or on each birthday, it will seem that the finger on the clock of time turns inescapably.

Life will have moved on and you’ll have missed it. Your conscious experience of being will consist of fulfilling your obligations to others.

When you broaden your perspective, you will realize that your life is dull and boring: you are persistently preparing yourself for the challenges ahead and getting ready to seize what the future might hold for you.

There’s always been some barrier to nurturing yourself. There’s always some uncompleted business, some debt to be paid back, something to prepare for, something to be done for others, somebody to be taken care of before your life—YOUR REAL LIFE—would begin.

The years will slip away in the pursuit of an illusion—an illusion that, one day, your real life will begin. Along the way, you will reconcile; you will surrender to the pressures of life. You will surrender your ambitions for what will be possible. You will let circumstances define what you will become. You will settle for something significantly less than what you’ve desired for yourself. Eventually, you will become what you will settle for.

Think of ways you might nurture yourself

While it is virtuous to be selfless and attend to the needs of others, devoting too much time to others can become an impediment to your own happiness. Protect your own time and interests:

  • Listen to your true self and give yourself the care you need. Your experience of being must not consist of letting the little things get in the way of what you truly want out of life.
  • Examine if you yield instinctively to others’ demands or put others’ needs ahead of your own.
  • Consider constructing boundaries on your time. Do not become a victim of your own generosity.

Nurture yourself not only for yourself but also for the others whose lives you touch. Don’t think of self-care as an egocentric act—when you neglect yourself, become overwhelmed, or become melancholic, you can’t be a compassionate, engaged individual for your family, community, or workplace.

Think of ways you might nurture yourself. Don’t settle. Your needs belong to the top.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. When Work Becomes Alibi: Turtle Workaholism and Excuse-making
  3. Balancing Acts: Navigating ‘Good’ Addictions
  4. Lilies and Leeches
  5. A Mindset Hack to Make Your Weekends More Refreshing

Filed Under: Living the Good Life Tagged With: Balance

Inspirational Quotations #509

January 5, 2014 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Death carries off a man who is gathering flowers and whose mind is distracted, as a flood carries off a sleeping village.
—The Dhammapada (Buddhist Anthology of Verses)

Live your daily life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger, and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself.
—Thich Nhat Hanh (Vietnamese Buddhist Religious Leader)

I must accept life unconditionally. Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can only be felt if you don’t set any condition.
—Arthur Rubinstein (Polish-born American Composer)

Every minute of life carries with it its miraculous value, and its face of eternal youth.
—Albert Camus (Algerian-born French Philosopher)

Poverty, frost, famine, rain, disease, are the beadles and guardsmen that hold us to common sense.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Philosopher)

The human heart is like a ship on a stormy sea driven about by winds blowing from all four corners of heaven.
—Martin Luther (German Protestant Theologian)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #508

December 29, 2013 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Only those who have the patience to do simple things perfectly will acquire the skill to do difficult things easily.
—Friedrich Schiller (German Poet)

We forget ourselves and our destinies in health; and the chief use of temporary sickness is to remind us of these concerns.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Philosopher)

Science is the great antidote to the poison of enthusiasm and superstition.
—George Goodman (American Economist)

The fact is, the difference between peak performers and everybody else are much smaller than everybody else thinks.
—Charles A. Garfield

Our hope of immortality does not come from any religions, but nearly all religions come from that hope.
—Robert G. Ingersoll (American Atheist Politician)

If one man conquer in battle a thousand times thousand men, and if another conquer himself, he is the greatest of conquerors.
—The Dhammapada (Buddhist Anthology of Verses)

The worst of all fears is the fear of living.
—Theodore Roosevelt (American Head of State)

We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize.
—Thich Nhat Hanh (Vietnamese Buddhist Religious Leader)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #507

December 22, 2013 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Any human anywhere will blossom in a hundred unexpected talents and capacities simply by being given the opportunity to do so.
—Doris Lessing (British Novelist, Poet)

You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself.
—Beryl Markham (British-born Kenyan Aviator)

A brave man hazards life, but not his conscience.
—Friedrich Schiller (German Poet)

The natural effort of every individual to better his own condition is so powerful that it is alone, and without any assistance, capable not only of carrying on the society to wealth and prosperity, but of surmounting 100 impertinent obstructions with which the folly of human laws too often encumbers its operations.
—George Goodman (American Economist)

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
—Unknown

Men cease to interest us when we find their limitations.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Philosopher)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #506

December 15, 2013 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Seeing, hearing, feeling, are miracles, and each part and tag of me is a miracle.
—Walt Whitman (American Poet)

The most successful politician is he who says what the people are thinking most often and in the loudest voice.
—Theodore Roosevelt (American Head of State)

No man ever became great or good except through many and great mistakes.
—William Ewart Gladstone (British Head of State)

The boy who is going to make a great man must not make up his mind merely to overcome a thousand obstacles, but to win in spite of a thousand repulses and defeats.
—Theodore Roosevelt (American Head of State)

Brave is the lion tamer, brave is the world subduer, but braver is the one who has subdued himself.
—Johann Gottfried Herder (German Lutheran Philosopher)

The condition of the most passionate enthusiast is to be preferred over the individual who, because of the fear of making a mistake, won’t in the end affirm or deny anything.
—Thomas Carlyle (Scottish Writer)

True miracles are created by men when they use the courage and intelligence that God gave them.
—Jean Anouilh

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #505

December 8, 2013 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If every day is an awakening, you will never grow old. You will just keep growing.
—Gail Sheehy (American Journalist)

He most honors my style who learns under it to destroy the teacher.
—Walt Whitman (American Poet)

The voice of the majority is no proof of justice.
—Friedrich Schiller (German Poet)

The more defects a man may have, the older he is, the less lovable, the more resounding his success.
—Marquis de Sade (French Political leader)

The beautiful seems right by force of beauty, and the feeble wrong because of weakness.
—Elizabeth Barrett Browning (English Poet)

To believe only possibilities is not faith, but mere philosophy.
—Thomas Browne (English Christian Author)

Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.
—Jean-Paul Sartre (French Philosopher)

A good writer is basically a story-teller, not a scholar or a redeemer of mankind.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer (Polish-born American Children’s Books Writer)

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
—Voltaire (French Philosopher)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #504

December 1, 2013 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In the time of darkest defeat, victory may be nearest.
—William McKinley (American Head of State)

A man with a surplus can control circumstances, but a man without a surplus is controlled by them, and often he has no opportunity to exercise judgment.
—Harvey Samuel Firestone (American Businessperson)

It is wonderful what strength and boldness of purpose and energy will come from the feeling that we are in the way of duty.
—John Foster Dulles (American Lawyer)

Let us show, not merely in great crises, but in every day affairs of life, qualities of practical intelligence, of hardihood and endurance, and above all, the power of devotion to a lofty ideal.
—Theodore Roosevelt (American Head of State)

True merit, like a river, the deeper it is, the less noise it makes.
—George Savile, 1st Marquess of Halifax (English Political leader)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #503

November 24, 2013 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

I cannot sleep for dreaming; I cannot dream but I wake and walk about the house as though I’d find you coming through some door.
—Arthur Miller (American Playwright)

Indeed, history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes.
—Voltaire (French Philosopher)

The man who does not take pride in his own performance performs nothing in which to take pride.
—Thomas J. Watson (American Businessperson)

Nothing is more powerful than an individual acting out of his conscience, thus helping to bring the collective conscience to life.
—Norman Cousins (American Journalist)

As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities.
—Voltaire (French Philosopher)

Lost time is like a run in a stocking. It always gets worse.
—Anne Morrow Lindbergh (American Author, Aviator)

Little minds have little worries, big minds have no time for worries.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Philosopher)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Better to Quit While You’re Ahead // Leadership Lessons from Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer

November 17, 2013 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you are the CEO of a large public company and the news of your exit causes your company’s market cap to swell by $24 billion on the morning of this announcement, you’ve made the right call.

On 23-Aug-2013, Microsoft’s shares gained 8.9% in pre-market trading when the company announced that Chief Executive Officer Steve Ballmer would retire within the next twelve months. During Ballmer’s 13-year tenure as CEO, Microsoft continued its dominance over the traditional segments of computing, but could not grasp changing consumer preferences. Despite stellar profitability, strategic missteps have forced Microsoft to play catch-up as Apple, Google, and other competitors dominated the new world of mobile devices, social media, search, and internet advertising.

In interviews with Wall Street Journal, Ballmer admitted: “Maybe I’m an emblem of an old era, and I have to move on … As much as I love everything about what I’m doing, the best way for Microsoft to enter a new era is a new leader who will accelerate change.”

Successful professionals know when to make the move: While they are ahead

There is a time limit to success at any leadership position. If a leader is any good, after the initial rush of process improvements, business turnarounds, organizational transformations, and program initiations, familiarity sets into his job. At that point, diminishing returns set in: established routines, processes, and employee networks take over the execution of the change the leader might have initiated.

There is a natural cycle of rapid growth and sustenance to most leadership roles. Stay as long as you need to establish direction, put your ideas into action, and institute the momentum of change. Then, undertake new challenges in your existing job or explore new career opportunities. Plan ahead—the right opportunity may not emerge quickly.

Don’t Hang on

Another lesson from the imminent transition at Microsoft: when you find yourself in trouble and can’t seem to make an impact despite persistent attempts at change, do not wait to get the push. It may be difficult to let go, but don’t hang on.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. Are You Ready for a Promotion?
  3. A Little Known, but Powerful Technique to Fast Track Your Career: Theo Epstein’s 20 Percent Rule
  4. Two Leadership Lessons from United Airlines’ CEO, Oscar Munoz
  5. Book Summary of Nicholas Carlson’s ‘Marissa Mayer and the Fight to Save Yahoo!’

Filed Under: Career Development Tagged With: Career Planning, Leadership Lessons, Microsoft, Transitions

Inspirational Quotations #502

November 17, 2013 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Every production of genius must be the production of enthusiasm.
—Isaac D’Israeli

The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.
—Norman Cousins (American Journalist)

The courage we desire and prize is not the courage to die decently, but to live manfully.
—Thomas Carlyle (Scottish Writer)

Read, read, read. Read everything—trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it. Then write. If it is good, you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out the window.
—William Faulkner (American Novelist)

Dreams are great. When they disappear you may still be there, but you will have ceased to live.
—Nancy Astor, Viscountess Astor (American-born British Politician)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!