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Nagesh Belludi

Inspirational Quotations #613

January 3, 2016 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It seems that the necessary thing to do is not to fear mistakes, to plunge in, to do the best that one can, hoping to learn enough from blunders to correct them eventually.
—Abraham Maslow (American Psychologist)

The weak in courage is strong in cunning.
—William Blake (English Poet)

Subtract from the great man all that he owes to opportunity, all that he owes to chance, and all that he has gained by the wisdom of his friends and the folly of his enemies, and the giant will often be seen to be a pigmy.
—Charles Caleb Colton (English Angelic Priest)

All sentient beings are seekers after happiness. He who does not violate other persons for the sake of his happiness will attain happiness afterwards.
—Buddhist Teaching

If you want to keep your memories, you first have to live them.
—Bob Dylan (American Singer)

It’s not the load that breaks you down—it’s the way you carry it.
—Lou Holtz

Do not expect to arrive at certainty in every subject which you pursue. There are a hundred things wherein we mortals… must be content with probability, where our best light and reasoning will reach no farther.
—Isaac Watts (English Hymn writer)

Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds.
—Orison Swett Marden (American New Thought Writer)

People need to be made more aware of the need to work at learning how to live because life is so quick and sometimes it goes away too quickly.
—Andy Warhol (American Painter)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

A Prayer to Help You Deal with Annoying People: What the Stoics Taught

January 1, 2016 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

The 18th Century French writer Nicolas Chamfort once urged, “A man must swallow a toad every morning if he wishes to be sure of finding nothing still more disgusting before the day is over.”

'Meditations: A New Translation' by Marcus Aurelius (ISBN 0812968255) If you’re not looking forward to annoying people who seem to elevate provocation to an art form, consider the following prayer offered by the great Stoic Philosopher-Emperor Marcus Aurelius (121 CE–180 CE) in Meditations (trans. Gregory Hays.)

When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me with ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.

Along those lines, the Buddha taught his followers to transcend ignorance through knowledge by observing four practices of inner conduct: loving kindness, altruistic compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity with regard to the impure and the evil. And in the New Testament,

  • Luke 23:34 suggests, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
  • Peter 2:23 offers the example of Jesus, “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to Him who judges justly.”
  • Romans 12:17–21 recommend, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath … Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Considered Response, Not Naiveté

Aurelius’s urging tolerance, understanding, and patience towards difficult people may sound like naiveté at first glance, but what he urges is a wise and measured response.

Aurelius (121–180 CE) was one of the great Stoic philosophers. Stoic philosophy was founded by Zeno of Citium in the 3rd century BCE. Its core themes of inner solitude, forbearance in adversity, and acceptance of fate gained far-flung following and made it the dominant philosophy across the ancient Greek and Roman worlds.

One of Stoic philosophy’s central beliefs is that destructive emotions result from our errors in judgment. The Stoics argue that many things aren’t within our control, as I elaborated in previous articles (here and here.) The best way to deal with situations we have little control over is to anticipate and neutralize any negative feelings.

Stoic Forbearance through Emotional Detachment

The Stoics argued that our lives will be dramatically different if we realize that we can neither avoid annoying people nor change them. We must accept this reality and work on how we respond and interact with them. In On Tranquility of Mind, the other great Stoic philosopher Seneca (65 BCE–4 CE) wrote:

By looking forward to whatever can happen as though it would happen, he will soften the attacks of all ills, which bring nothing strange to those who have been prepared beforehand and are expecting them; it is the unconcerned and those that expect nothing but good fortune upon whom they fall heavily. Sickness comes, captivity, disaster, conflagration, but none of them is unexpected—I always knew in what disorderly company Nature had confined me.

As popular books on Stoicism expound, the Stoics encouraged a meditative practice of negative visualization called premeditatio malorum (premeditation of evils.) As suggested by Aurelius in his prayer, premeditatio malorum consists of contemplating the potential challenges of the day ahead, thinking about which of the four cardinal virtues (courage, equanimity, self-control and wisdom) we may have to engage and how. By rehearsing not to resign ourselves to adversities, we’re prepared for a more considered response—we could forgive, forget, appreciate and empathize.

As part of the premeditatio malorum practice, we’re to contemplate a priori potential difficulties, setbacks, and misfortunes. While envisaging all the difficulties and evils we could foresee seems like an unwholesome—perhaps even a morbid—exercise, the Stoics argue that this practice can help us react to bad news with equanimity and hence minimize the impact of bad news on our self-worth or confidence. If and when a bad thing should actually happen, our initial response would be to think that “this wasn’t totally unexpected.” While we’d rather it hadn’t happened, we would nevertheless not be surprised by it because this potential outcome was expected all along.

Idea for Impact: Cultivate Equanimity and Manage Yourself First

To handle a difficult person, prepare yourself by thinking of all the things that could go wrong. Don’t focus on how he behaves, but focus on how you can react to him. By ignoring his irritating behaviors, you can neutralize his effect on you. In other words, if someone is being difficult but you don’t feel the difficulty he’s imposed upon you, you don’t have a problem.

The cognitive reframing suggested by the Stoics can be particularly effective in situations where you have little to no control. It’s far more productive to focus on your own behavior because you can control it. And by managing yourself first, you’ll come to appreciate that the annoying person isn’t as annoying anymore. As the other Stoic philosopher Epictetus reminds us, “Man is shaped not by events but the meaning he gives them.”

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Life Is to You as to Everyone Else: What the Stoics Taught
  2. Choose Not to Be Offended, and You Will Not Be: What the Stoics Taught
  3. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be
  4. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
  5. If You Want to Be Loved, Love

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Anger, Attitudes, Getting Along, Philosophy, Relationships, Stoicism

Top Blog Articles of 2015

December 30, 2015 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Here are this year’s most popular articles based on email- and feed-subscribership:

  1. Top Blog Articles of 2015 Reframe Your Thinking, Get Better Answers. By changing or adjusting your perception of an issue, you are likely to reevaluate your intentions and find alternative, acceptable solutions to your situations.
  2. How to Email Busy People. When you ask something of somebody, make it as convenient as possible for that person to respond to your request. Avoid imposing more busy work on already busy people.
  3. Seek Discipline, Not Motivation. People who actually get things done are those who find a way to work at whatever they are interested in even when they do not really feel like doing it. Focus on the ends rather than the means.
  4. When Delegating, Acknowledge Possible Errors. When delegating, empower your employees by letting them know that they aren’t expected to make optimal decisions every time and you’re not demanding perfection.
  5. The Opportunities in Customer Pain Points. Many innovative ideas are born of a reliable formula: prudent attention to customer pain points: customers are usually willing to pay a premium to have their frustrations with a product or a service resolved.
  6. Fear of Failure is an Obstacle to Growth. If you fear failure and limit your activities, you are acutely impeding the knowledge and wisdom that comes from opening yourselves up to the new and the unfamiliar.
  7. What Everybody Ought to Know about Writing Better Emails. Poorly written emails are a result of weaknesses in style and structure. Poor style is characterized by improper spelling and grammar, meandering and complex sentences and abstract, technical or indirect language. Poor structure refers to disparity between logical sentence order and the reader’s comprehension of those sentences.
  8. Coaching vs. Feedback. Coaching is about future behavior and feedback is about past (and current) behavior. Coaching is about assisting employees reach their goals for the future. Feedback is about helping employees understand what prevents them from reaching their current goals.
  9. The Truth Can Be Bitterer than a Sweet Illusion. Delaying action and putting off unpleasant confrontations will only make things harder. Especially when dealing with difficulties involving people, there is nothing more insidious than unresolved conflict and inaction.
  10. What Opportunities Are You Overlooking? What opportunities are you overlooking today that, months, years, or decades from now, you could come to regret with the perspective that comes with time or upon mature reflection?

And here are articles of yesteryear that continue to be popular:

  1. 25 Ways to Instantly Become a Better Boss. Bad management is not usually a result of bosses not knowing what to do to manage better. Rather, it stems largely from bosses not putting simple, conventional managerial skills into practice.
  2. How to Write Email Subject Lines that Persuade. By writing persuasive subject lines in emails, you can help your readers identify the importance of your message and the action you’re asking.
  3. Self-Assessment Quiz: How Stressed are You? The first step to overcome the causes and effects of stress is to acknowledge stress and become aware of its symptoms. By identifying a few telltale signs of stress, you can take steps to manage them.
  4. Maria Bartiromo’s “The 10 Laws of Enduring Success.” CNBC anchor and journalist Maria Bartiromo presents a longstanding blueprint of success as ten attitudes: self-awareness, foresight, ingenuity, audacity, integrity, flexibility, modesty, fortitude, tenacity of purpose, and resilience.
  5. 7 Easy Ways to Get More Done in Less Time. Divide and conquer. Fight procrastination. Put things in their place. Create checklists for all tasks. Start planning your day on the prior day. Pick up after yourself and clean your home and workspace. Maintain a ‘On-The-Go’ folder.

Filed Under: Announcements

Inspirational Quotations #612

December 27, 2015 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If we examine our thoughts, we shall find them always occupied with the past and the future.
—Blaise Pascal (French Catholic Mathematician)

The confidence in another man’s virtue is no light evidence of a man’s own, and God willingly favors such a confidence.
—Michel de Montaigne (French Philosopher)

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
—Eleanor Roosevelt (American First Lady)

A chief is a man who assumes responsibility. He says, “I was beaten”. He does not say, “My men were beaten”. Thus speaks a real man.
—Antoine de Saint-Exupery (French Novelist, Aviator)

Reading is equivalent to thinking with someone else’s head instead of with one’s own.
—Arthur Schopenhauer (German Philosopher)

Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is.
—Isaac Asimov (Russian-born American Children’s Books Writer)

Poverty is a veil that obscures the face of greatness. An appeal is a mask covering the face of tribulation.
—Khalil Gibran (Lebanese-born American Philosopher)

As we grow in wisdom, we pardon more freely.
—Anne Louise Germaine de Stael

Our faith comes in moments… yet there is a depth in those brief moments which constrains us to ascribe more reality to them than to all other experiences.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Philosopher)

What is the imagination? Only an arm or weapon of the interior energy; only the precursor of the reason.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Philosopher)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Books I Read in 2015 & Recommend

December 23, 2015 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In addition to a number of Rick Steves’ and Lonely Planet books for my summer-long travels across Europe, here are a few books that I read in 2015 and recommend.

  • Biography / Business: Brad Stone’s The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon is an engrossing chronicle of the obsessive hard-driving personality of its founder-CEO and the company that has played the pivotal role in the shift from brick-and-mortar retail to online retail.
  • 'Onward: How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul' by Howard Schultz, Joanne Gordon (ISBN 1609613821)Biography / Leadership: Starbucks founder Howard Schultz’s Onward: How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul is an interesting depiction of Starbucks’ turnaround after Schultz returned as CEO in 2008. Read Onward for a case study of the founder’s syndrome in action and a self-congratulatory portrait of a charismatic entrepreneur and brilliant corporate cheerleader. Read my summary.
  • Biography / Business: Ashlee Vance’s Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future is a biography of America’s current most audacious entrepreneur and Silicon Valley’s most prominent innovator. While the book details Musk’s bold leadership decisions, it also serves as a great reminder of how an extreme personality and intense success are not without their costs. Read my comments.
  • Decision-Making: Phil Rosenzweig’s Left Brain Right Stuff delineates distinct but complementary skills required for making winning decisions: logical analysis and calculation (left brain skills) and as well as the willingness to take risks, push boundaries, and go beyond what has been done before (right brain skills.)
  • 'Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!' by Richard Feynman, Ralph Leighton (ISBN 0393316041)Biographies / Mental Models: Physicist and Nobel Laureate Richard Feynman’s scientific curiosity knew no bounds. His academic life, acuity, life-philosophy, and ability to communicate science are inspirational to anyone pursuing his/her own life’s fulfillment. The following biographies capture his many scientific achievements, playfulness, varied interests and hobbies, and—perhaps most notably—his many eccentricities.
    • Surely You’re Joking
    • What Do You Care What Other People Think
    • Genius Richard Feynman
    • The Pleasure of Finding Things Out
  • 'Sam Walton: Made In America' by Sam Walton (ISBN 0553562835)Biography / Business: Sam Walton’s bestseller autobiography Made in America is very educational, insightful, and stimulating. Walton inspired legions of other entrepreneurs who thrive on managing costs and prices to gain competitive advantage. Read about an important lesson from this book about cost and price as a competitive advantage.
  • Decision-Making: Suzy Welch’s 10-10-10 Rule advocates considering the potential positive and negative consequences of all decisions in the immediate present, the near term, and the distant future: or in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. Read my summary.
  • Biography / Mental Models: Walter Isaacson’s A Benjamin Franklin Reader is an excellent collection of the writings of Benjamin Franklin, one of America’s most beloved founding fathers. Franklin was a polymath renowned for his lifelong quest for self-improvement.
  • 'The Art of Stillness: Adventures in Going Nowhere' by Pico Iyer (ISBN 1476784728)Philosophy: Pico Iyer’s The Art of Stillness argues the importance of taking a timeout from busyness. Iyer contends, “In an age of speed … nothing could be more invigorating than going slow. In an age of distraction, nothing could feel more luxurious than paying attention.” Read my summary.
  • Biographies / Art / Philosophy: Steven Naifeh and Gregory Smith’s Van Gogh: The Life and Michael Howard’s Van Gogh: His Life & Works in 500 Images paint a vivid picture of the artistic genius and the troubled personal life of Vincent van Gogh. Ever Yours is an absorbing anthology of correspondence between Vincent and his brother Theo. Ever Yours sheds light on Vincent’s shifting moods, turbulent life, and philosophical evolution as an artist.
  • Management: Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson’s One Minute Manager is a best-selling introductory business book about goal-setting and giving feedback. Read my summary.
  • Biographies: Tenzing Norgay’s autobiography Man of Everest and Yves Malartic’s Tenzing of Everest portray the personal triumph of a poor and illiterate but ambitious, deeply religious explorer.

On a related note, read my article about reading hacks: How to Process that Pile of Books You Can’t Seem to Finish. Also see books I read in 2014 & recommend.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Books I Read in 2014 & Recommend
  2. Book Summary of Maria Bartiromo’s ‘The 10 Laws of Enduring Success’
  3. Book Summary of Nassim Taleb’s ‘Fooled by Randomness’
  4. Book Summary of Viktor Frankl’s ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’
  5. Crucible Experiences Can Transform Your Leadership Skills

Filed Under: Leadership Reading, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Books for Impact, Skills for Success

Inspirational Quotations #611

December 20, 2015 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Sin writes histories, goodness is silent.
—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (German Poet)

The height of cultivation runs to simplicity. Halfway cultivation runs to ornamentation.
—Bruce Lee (Hong-Kong-born American Sportsperson)

Only a stomach that rarely feels hungry scorns common things.
—Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus) (Roman Poet)

He that lives upon hope will die fasting.
—Benjamin Franklin (American Political leader)

You cannot be friends upon any other terms than upon the terms of equality.
—Woodrow Wilson (American Head of State)

There seems to be a kind of order in the universe, in the movement of the stars and the turning of the earth and the changing of the seasons, and even in the cycle of human life. But human life itself is almost pure chaos. Everyone takes his stance, asserts his own rights and feelings, mistaking the motives of others, and his own.
—Katherine Anne Porter (American Journalist)

Let death be daily before your eyes, and you will never entertain any abject thought, nor too eagerly covet anything.
—Epictetus (Ancient Greek Philosopher)

No man has ever risen to the real stature of spiritual manhood until he has found that it is finer to serve somebody else than it is to serve himself.
—Woodrow Wilson (American Head of State)

If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.
—Jim Rohn (American Entrepreneur)

Some virtues are only seen in affliction and others only in prosperity.
—Joseph Addison (English Essayist)

Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.
—Jim Rohn (American Entrepreneur)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

How to Become a Broad-thinker: Principles and Methods

December 18, 2015 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Success depends on understanding basic principles as well as on developing and practicing workable methods.

  • Elon Musk, CEO of SpaceX and Tesla, recently advised in his Reddit AMA, “It is important to view knowledge as sort of a semantic tree—make sure you understand the fundamental principles, i.e. the trunk and big branches, before you get into the leaves/details or there is nothing for them to hang on to.”
  • Harrington Emerson, a prominent management consultant and efficiency expert during the early 1900s, is understood to have said that the key to becoming a broad-thinker is to focus on the principles: “As to methods, there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.” (This quote is often incorrectly attributed to American essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson.)

Principles are the fundamental set of philosophies, propositions, assumptions, laws, and rules concerning a topic, problem, or circumstances. The principles can teach you why something works the way it does.

Methods, on the other hand, are merely devices to apply those principles in a particular circumstance.

While principles are immutable, Emerson reminds us that there can be many methods to interpret and apply those principles.

Principles and Methods

Given the time-pressure induced by the hurried world of work, we are often so tempted to implement ready-made or handed-down methods that we forgo the necessary examination of underpinning principles.

By delving directly into methods, we can find some reliable direction and save a great deal of time, but we may be neglecting many factors that can affect the outcomes of our methods. These circumferential issues, second- and higher-order effects, and peripheral relationships may not be readily apparent at the outset. They will emanate only from a knowledge of the underlying principles.

Idea for Impact: To be an effective thinker, develop a broad understanding and appreciation of the principles before you develop or deploy methods.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Howard Gardner’s Five Minds for the Future // Books in Brief
  2. You Can’t Develop Solutions Unless You Realize You Got Problems: Problem Finding is an Undervalued Skill
  3. Finding Potential Problems & Risk Analysis: A Case Study on ‘The Three Faces of Eve’
  4. Good Questions Encourage Creative Thinking
  5. Four Ideas for Business Improvement Ideas

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Creativity, Elon Musk, Thinking Tools, Thought Process, Winning on the Job

Your To-Do List Isn’t a Wish List: Add to It Selectively

December 15, 2015 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Poor time management is often not about a packed schedule as much as it is about an indecisive, unorganized, undisciplined mind that struggles with task management.

One persistent problem in time management is how people go about managing their to-do list, whether it’s a paper list, on an app/software, or just a mental record.

Unwieldy Buildup of Tasks

People find it easy to add things to their to-do lists. They tend to say yes to almost everything that is asked of them—because right when they are asked for something, saying “yes” involves nothing more than adding one more item to their already lengthy to-do lists.

What’s more, people can’t seem to complete and cross-off more than half of their to-do lists. The buildup of tasks is never-ending; for every task they complete, they tend to add a few more.

Consequently, they end up with a large, ever-growing task-list, which they postpone from one day to the next. No wonder they constantly feel besieged by work and get disheartened that there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.

Take Control of Your To-Do List

  • Be very conscious about your time.
  • Be very selective with what you add to your to-do list. As I mentioned in “the world’s shortest course in time management,” focus on things that you must do and avoid everything else. “An earnest purpose finds time, or makes it. It seizes on spare moments, and turns fragments to golden account,” said American Unitarian William Ellery Channing.
  • Learn to limit the demands on your time. Don’t say yes to everything that people ask of you.
  • Favor close-ended tasks over open-ended tasks. Break down complex tasks into smaller, bite-sized tasks that can be close-ended.
  • Associate everything on your to-do list with a date, time, and duration. Instead of adding a task to your to-do list, consider scheduling it on your calendar. Scheduling forces you to consider a task’s length and to confront how much time you actually have to devote to its completion.
  • Don’t tackle the tasks that you fancy instead of the ones you really need to do. Don’t focus on smaller, insignificant tasks on the pretext of making tangible progress quickly and in an attempt to avoid doing the significant projects.
  • Don’t wait for motivation to strike. Instead, discipline yourself and launch into action. As I mentioned in my article on the “10-Minute Dash” technique to overcome procrastination, action leads to motivation, which in turn leads to more action.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to Turn Your Procrastination Time into Productive Time
  2. How to … Kickstart Your Day with Focus & Set a Daily Highlight to Stay on Track
  3. What the Dry January Trap Shows Us About Extremes
  4. The Simple Life, The Good Life // Book Summary of Greg McKeown’s ‘Essentialism’
  5. Ask This One Question Every Morning to Find Your Focus

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Discipline, Goals, Mindfulness, Motivation, Time Management

Inspirational Quotations #610

December 13, 2015 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you lose the power to laugh, you lose the power to think.
—Clarence Darrow (American Lawyer)

Try to do to others as you would have them do to you, and do not be discouraged if they fail sometimes. It is much better that they should fail than that you should.
—Charles Dickens (English Novelist)

Do not be afraid of mistakes, providing you do not make the same one twice.
—Eleanor Roosevelt (American First Lady)

The beginning and almost the end of all good law is that everyone shall work for their bread and receive good bread for their work.
—John Ruskin (English Art Critic)

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
—Doug Larson

Share weight and woe, for misfortune falls with double force on him that stands alone.
—Baltasar Gracian

Our worries always come from our weaknesses.
—Joseph Joubert (French Essayist)

There are in life as many aspects as attitudes towards it; and aspects change with attitudes… Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different. Life would undergo a change of appearance because we ourselves had undergone a change in attitude.
—Katherine Mansfield (New Zealand-born British Author)

Our chief defect is that we are more given to talking about things than to doing them.
—Jawaharlal Nehru (Indian Head of State)

Acceptance is the truest kinship with humanity.
—G. K. Chesterton (English Journalist)

We sometimes think we hate flattery, when we only hate the manner in which we have been flattered.
—Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Extrinsic Motivation Couldn’t Change Even Einstein

December 11, 2015 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

“He that complies against his will is of his own opinion still,” wrote the English poet and satirist Samuel Butler (1613–1680) in Hudibras (Part iii. Canto iii. Line 547.)

Einstein Wouldn’t Quit Smoking

Consider the case of a rational person as great as Albert Einstein. Grandson Bernhard Caesar Einstein, himself a reputed physicist, recalled in 1998 that Grandpa Einstein’s two prized possessions were his violin and smoking pipe; his reliance on the latter “bordered on dependency.”

Despite deteriorating health, Albert Einstein couldn’t be motivated to quit smoking. His doctor tried but just couldn’t convince Einstein to give it up. To circumvent the doctor’s effort to stop him from smoking, Einstein would scour his neighborhood’s sidewalks to collect discarded cigarette butts to smoke in his pipe.

People Will Change Only if Intrinsically Motivated

People are who they are; they have their (intrinsic) motivations and will continue to live their way. Despite well-meaning intentions, you simply can’t change them or mold their minds into your way of thinking.

You may be frustrated by their reluctance to mend their ways, stop engaging in destructive behavior, or even realize that they’re throwing away their potential. But you just can’t force change down their throats if they aren’t intrinsically motivated. You can only express your opinions, offer help, and even persist. Beyond that, you can only hope they change. You can control your effort and create the conditions for success. Beyond that, the outcomes of your efforts to change are outside your span of control. Control your efforts, not the outcomes.

As I elaborated in a previous article, you will succeed in changing another person’s behavior only if you can translate the extrinsic motivation at your disposal to the elements of his/her intrinsic motivation.

Idea for Impact: Extrinsic motivation is pointless in itself

You can’t change people; they must want to change for themselves. In other words, they must be intrinsically motivated to change. Extrinsic motivation is, in itself, pointless.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. To Inspire, Translate Extrinsic Motivation to Intrinsic Motivation
  2. Don’t Push Employees to Change
  3. An Effective Question to Help Feel the Success Now
  4. Conquer That Initial Friction
  5. Eight Ways to Keep Your Star Employees Around

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Discipline, Feedback, Goals, Great Manager, Lifehacks, Motivation, Scientists, Workplace

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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