Archives for November 2023

Self-Criticism Is Self-Sabotage

November 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

According to Emma Seppälä, a researcher from Stanford and Yale, the tendency to excessively dwell on negative outcomes and the subsequent self-criticism can erode our self-worth, leading to self-doubt and unhappiness.

In her book The Happiness Track (2016,) Seppälä advocates for self-compassion, emphasizing the importance of treating oneself with the same understanding, mindfulness, and kindness that one would extend to a friend. This shift in mindset can lead to significantly increased resilience, productivity, and overall well-being.

Self-Criticism Is Self-Sabotage Seppälä recommends a practice of expressive writing. When dealing with intense emotions, try writing a letter to yourself as if you were addressing a friend. While this might initially feel unusual, this self-compassionate approach can help put your feelings into perspective rather than magnifying them. Expressive writing offers an opportunity for meaningful change by confronting your realities, reframing your experiences, and identifying any obstacles hindering your pursuit of purpose, joy, and contentment.

Idea for Impact: By replacing self-doubt and harsh self-judgment with self-compassion and positive self-talk, you’ll empower yourself to thrive. This transformative shift opens the doors to personal growth, stronger relationships, and a more resilient mindset.

The Buddha Teaches: How to Empower Yourself in the Face of Criticism

November 13, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Buddha Teaches: How to Empower Yourself in the Face of Criticism Within the Theravada Buddhist tradition’s Pali Canon, the Akkosa Sutta teaches the importance of non-reactivity in the face of insults and harsh words. It emphasizes that when someone insults you, you should remain calm and composed, like a mirror that reflects an image without being affected by it.

Akkosa Sutta: Anger Quelled with Patience and Compassion

Siddhartha Gautama, the historical Buddha, achieved widespread renown during his 45-year teaching mission following his enlightenment. His teachings resonated with many, leading to the formation of the monastic Sangha.

The Buddha’s reputation as an unprovokable and serene spiritual teacher quickly spread across the regions he visited.

A man journeyed hundreds of miles with the intent of testing the Buddha’s renowned composure. Upon reaching the Buddha, the man wasted no time in subjecting him to a barrage of criticism, insults, challenges, and deliberate attempts to provoke a reaction.

Remarkably, the Buddha remained unruffled. Instead, he calmly inquired, “May I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” the man responded.

With gentle wisdom, the Buddha asked, “If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, to whom then does it belong?”

The man pondered and replied, “It belongs to the person who offered it.”

A serene smile graced the Buddha’s face as he said, “That is correct. So if I decline to accept your abuse, does it not then still belong to you?”

In the wake of a thoughtful pause, the man chose to walk away.

Managing External Perceptions with Grace

The Akkosa Sutta emphasizes a fundamental Buddhist principle: Non-Attachment. When confronted with criticism, it’s crucial to distance yourself from the need to defend your self-image or validate your worth. By not allowing the negative words of others to provoke an emotional reaction, you promote inner peace and detachment from external negativity.

When accusations trigger that defensive knot in your stomach, pause and engage in self-reflection. In such moments, there are only two possibilities: either the accusations are valid or false. If they hold truth, anger serves no purpose; it’s wiser to acknowledge the valid points, learn from the experience, and advance in life.

Conversely, if they are false, once again, anger is unnecessary. In this scenario, the responsibility for their emotions lies with the person who made the mistake. While you can’t control the actions of others, you have the power to manage your own reactions.

Inspirational Quotations #1023

November 12, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

Each new generation is a fresh invasion of savages.
—Hervey Allen (American Author)

When a man is kind to dumb animals, I always say he has got some good in him.
—Owen Wister (American Novelist)

To a person in love, the value of the individual is intuitively known. Love needs no logic for its mission.
—Charles Lindbergh (American Aviator, Conservationist)

Every religion is the product of the conceptual mind attempting to describe the Mystery.
—Ram Dass (American Hindu New Age Pioneer)

Sin brought death, and death will disappear with the disappearance of sin.
—Mary Baker Eddy (American Christian Science Religious Leader)

Borrow trouble for yourself if that’s your nature, but don’t lend it to your neighbors.
—Rudyard Kipling (British Children’s Books Writer)

Love can’t mature in one room. It has to come out of the full sharing of everything: joys, aspirations, downfalls, all of it. That’s the only real path to love.
—Leon Uris (American Writer)

Not the fruit of experience but experience itself, is the end.
—Walter Pater (English Critic, Essayist)

It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
—Dolores Ibarruri (Spanish Communist Leader)

No one is so miserable as the poor person who maintains the appearance of wealth.
—Charles Spurgeon (English Baptist Preacher)

There is a destiny which makes us brothers; none goes his way alone. All that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own.
—Edwin Markham (American Poet)

All tales may come true; and yet, at the last, redeemed, they may be as like and unlike the forms that we give them as Man, finally redeemed, will be like and unlike the fallen that we know.
—J. R. R. Tolkien (British Philologist, Writer)

In doing what we ought we deserve no praise, because it is our duty.
—Augustine of Hippo (Roman-African Christian Philosopher)

What a woman says to her avid lover should be written in wind and running water.
—Catullus (Roman Latin Poet)

The more immoral we become in big ways, the more puritanical we become in little ways.
—Florence King (American Essayist)

The Dance of Time, The Art of Presence

November 9, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Within life’s rich tapestry, we often find ourselves caught between two elusive realms—the past and the future. As the celebrated German Buddhist nun Ayya Khema eloquently reminds us in her thought-provoking invitation to embark on a journey of mindfulness, Being Nobody, Going Nowhere: Meditations on the Buddhist Path (1987,) our path is a quest for the present moment.

One of our human absurdities is the fact that we’re constantly thinking about either the future or the past. Those who are young think of the future because they’ve got more of it. Those who are older think more about the past because, for them, there is more of it. But in order to experience life, we have to live each moment. Life has not been happening in the past. That’s memory. Life is not going to happen in the future. That’s planning. The only time we can live is now, this moment, and absurd as it may seem, we’ve got to learn that. As human beings with life spans of sixty, seventy, or eighty years, we have to learn to actually experience living in the present. When we have learned that, we will have eliminated a great many of our problems.

Life is a fleeting current, and it manifests not in the echoes of yesteryears, nor in the dreams of morrows yet to come.

The essence of life, the only fragment of existence we can lay claim to, resides in this very moment—the now.

Let’s embrace this moment fully. Let’s resolve to breathe, to cherish, and to be truly present, for each moment is a precious gem, unique and irreplaceable, for once it slips into the past, it becomes but a memory.

Live each moment.

Steering the Course: Leadership’s Flight with the Instrument Scan Mental Model

November 6, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Instrument Scan Mental Model: Leaders Must Employ Their Instruments for Guided Insight Embarking on flight training comes with a nifty habit that instructors eagerly instill from the get-go: the art of instrument scanning.

Whispers from your instructor echo in your mind, urging you with the mantra, “Scan, scan, scan!”

Keep a Good Scan of Your Instruments, Never Be Stumped

A vital cautionary command follows closely, “Don’t stare!” You learn to effortlessly let your gaze flit from one instrument to another. The altitude indicator, heading indicator, airspeed indicator, and vertical speed indicator each hold a crucial piece of the intricate airborne puzzle.

There’s a natural instinct to fixate on a single instrument, yet doing so can lead pilots astray. Gazing at the altimeter may cause heading drift, while focusing solely on heading may compromise airspeed control.

Pilots are trained to maintain a cohesive scan of all instruments, constantly cross-checking the streams of data. By doing so, they can swiftly identify any inconsistencies, such as an altitude indicating descent while the altimeter shows level flight.

With instrument scanning, pilots can promptly isolate the problematic instrument or data stream, and if necessary devise alternative plans to obtain the necessary information and ensure the aircraft’s safe and steady flight.

Just as Pilots Use Instruments in the Air, Leaders Scan Their Realm

The concept of an instrument scan mindset serves as a potent analogy for effectively managing critical information within the realm of business. Much like pilots, leaders must engage in ongoing monitoring, analysis, and cross-referencing of pertinent data. To achieve success, it’s imperative to proactively pay attention to emerging trends, maintain a steadfast focus on the larger picture, and cultivate a curious mindset.

It is of utmost importance to avoid fixating on a single metric to the detriment of considering other vital factors that could impact the business. Leaders should routinely revisit their goals, objectives, and key performance indicators (KPIs,) and conduct a thorough analysis of data to discern trends, patterns, and areas of concern, all while embracing a proactive and inquisitive approach. They should be unafraid to pose challenging questions, challenge assumptions, and maintain a comprehensive situational awareness.

Sadly, in the world of business, this mindset is frequently overlooked. Reports are often generated, and actions taken without the rigorous cross-checking or sense-checking of the underlying data. Stakeholders become overly fixated on a single “instrument,” and in doing so, they fail to maintain a broader scan of the business landscape.

It is crucial to refrain from accepting data at face value, as maintaining a vigilant scan and a more extensive situational awareness is of paramount importance. Embrace the wisdom of instrument scanning to chart a course toward success, steering clear of perilous assumptions and acquiring a comprehensive understanding of your business’s performance.

Leaders Must Employ Their ‘Instruments’ for Guided Insight

Within the symbolic framework of leadership, as in flying an aircraft, the concept of instrument scanning encompasses the continual practice of gathering and interpreting information. This process is vital for making well-informed decisions, safeguarding the welfare of the organization or team, and steering a precise path toward the envisioned goals.

Much like how pilots depend on their instruments to navigate their flights safely and on the correct course, effective leadership through instrument scanning is essential. It serves as the linchpin for steering an organization or team toward triumph and preserving their vitality and stability.

Inspirational Quotations #1022

November 5, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

First, I do not sit down at my desk to put into verse something that is already clear in my mind. If it were clear in my mind, I should have no incentive or need to write about it. We do not write in order to be understood; we write in order to understand.
—Cecil Day-Lewis (British Poet, Critic)

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
—Mark Twain (American Humorist)

There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart.
—Celia Thaxter (American Poet)

While there is perhaps a province in which the photograph can tell us nothing more than what we see with our own eyes, there is another in which it proves to us how little our eyes permit us to see.
—Dorothea Lange (American Photographer)

Words today are like the shells and rope of seaweed which a child brings home glistening from the beach and which in an hour have lost their luster.
—Cyril Connolly (British Literary Critic)

How much a dunce that has been sent to roam, excels a dunce that has been kept at home.
—William Cowper (English Anglican Poet)

Thinking should become your capital asset, whatever ups and downs you may come across in your life.
—A. P. J. Abdul Kalam (Indian Head of State, Scientist)

In the real world, equal respect for all cultures doesn’t translate into a rich mosaic of colorful and proud peoples interacting peacefully while maintaining a delightful diversity of food and craftwork. It translates into closed pockets of oppression, ignorance, and abuse.
—Ayaan Hirsi Ali (Dutch Politician, Activist)

When I think of vision, I have in mind the ability to see above and beyond the majority.
—Chuck Swindoll (American Christian Pastor)

Perfect works are rare, because they must be produced at the happy moment when taste and genius unite; and this rare conjuncture, like that of certain planets, appears to occur only after the revolution of several cycles, and only lasts for an instant.
—Francois-Rene de Chateaubriand (French Writer, Statesman)

Protect the Downside with Pre-mortems

November 2, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

American self-help author Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle Is the Way (2014) draws inspiration from Stoic philosophy to demonstrate how obstacles and challenges can be transformed into opportunities for personal growth and success. One recommended mindset is the pre-mortem: envisioning potential difficulties aligns with Stoic principles of accepting what one cannot control and focusing on their responses to external events:

In a postmortem, doctors convene to examine the causes of a patient’s unexpected death so they can learn and improve for the next time a similar circumstance arises. Outside of the medical world, we call this a number of things—a debriefing, an exit interview, a wrap-up meeting, a review—but whatever it’s called, the idea is the same: We’re examining the project in hindsight, after it happened.

A pre-mortem is different. In it, we look to envision what could go wrong, what will go wrong, in advance, before we start. Far too many ambitious undertakings fail for preventable reasons. Far too many people don’t have a backup plan because they refuse to consider that something might not go exactly as they wish. Your plan and the way things turn out rarely resemble each other. What you think you deserve is also rarely what you’ll get. Yet we constantly deny this fact and are repeatedly shocked by the events of the world as they unfold.

Idea for Impact: By embracing anticipation, you equip yourself with the tools to fortify your defenses, and in some cases, sidestep challenges altogether. You’re ready with a safety net ready to catch you if you stumble. With anticipation, you can endure.

P.S. Many industries—engineering, manufacturing, healthcare just to name a few—have a very formal, structured, systematic approach to identify and prioritize potential failures, their causes, and their consequences. As with a pre-mortem, the primary purpose of FMEA is to proactively assess and mitigate risks by understanding how a process or system might fail and the impact of those failures.

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Archives for November 2023

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Akkosa Sutta: Anger Quelled with Patience and Compassion

Managing External Perceptions with Grace

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Keep a Good Scan of Your Instruments, Never Be Stumped

Just as Pilots Use Instruments in the Air, Leaders Scan Their Realm

Leaders Must Employ Their ‘Instruments’ for Guided Insight

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