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Archives for July 2021

How to Stop a Worry Spiral

July 29, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you tend to worry a lot—about your weight or money, what others think of you, going to a job you dislike, your life path,—you can use a simple trick proposed by the self-help author Shannon Kaiser.

In Joy Seeker (2019,) Kaiser suggests turning “what if” statements into “I wonder” statements. This reframing exercise helps quiet down your anxiety-filled thoughts and refocuses your mind on the best possible scenario rather than the worst:

Worry: What if I fail and it doesn’t work out?
Wonder: What if things go better than planned, and I am happier than I ever thought I could be?

Worry: What if people don’t understand or approve of what I do?
Wonder: What if people love it and my idea is well received?

Worry: What if I am rejected?
Wonder: What if I am accepted? My life will change for the better.

When you are too consumed with fear, your vision narrows, and your mind homes in on the threats you’re facing at the moment. You can’t focus on what you want. You can’t see the truth of the situation. Choosing wonder over worry helps you tap into the possibilities instead of getting sucked in by the limitations.

Idea for Impact: Approaching uncertainty with curiosity can help you fight hopelessness. Rather than admitting a terrible outcome as a foregone conclusion, you become open to possibility. You avoid sliding down into a pit of dread and despair. You’re far more likely to come up with effective ways for coping with the situation in question.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Power of Negative Thinking
  2. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  3. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  4. How to … Silence Your Inner Critic with Gentle Self-Compassion
  5. Seven Ways to Let Go of Regret

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Emotions, Introspection, Mindfulness, Suffering, Worry

Niksen: The Dutch Art of Embracing Stillness, Doing Nothing

July 26, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Niksen - Dutch Technique of Doing Nothing, Just Being The Dutch have a practice they call Niksen, derived from “niks doen,” which literally means “nothing-ing.” It involves purposefully engaging in doing absolutely nothing, embracing a state of aimlessness.

Think of it as a sanctioned daydreaming session.

Niksen entails gazing out the window and allowing your mind to wander wherever it pleases. Unlike mindfulness meditation, where you observe your thoughts or focus on your breath, Niksen is about simply existing. Just being there. There’s no effort to return to the present moment or to analyze your thoughts.

In Niksen, you’re just being. You take a pause, practice stillness, and let your gaze drift to the horizon. It’s about being wherever you are, whether sitting or standing, without any deliberate action. When thoughts arise, you let them pass without scrutiny, allowing them to come and go naturally.

As a stress-relief technique, Niksen is gaining popularity. Embracing idleness means disconnecting from the constant buzz of connectivity and the pressure of stress, anxiety, and depression. Studies show that allowing your mind to wander activates different parts of the brain, maybe even tapping into some hidden wisdom.

Give Niksen a shot, even if it’s just for a minute or two every now and then. It can provide a much-needed break during moments of tension and worry. These brief escapes can add richness and intrigue to your life, expanding your horizons beyond the everyday.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Learn to Cope When You’re Stressed
  2. A Quick Way to De-stress: The “Four Corners Breathing” Exercise
  3. Zen in a Minute: Centering with Micro-Meditations
  4. How to Encourage Yourself During Tough Times
  5. When in Doubt, Write it Out

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Balance, Mindfulness, Stress, Time Management, Worry

Inspirational Quotations #903

July 25, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi

There are no old people nowadays; they are either ‘wonderful for their age’ or dead.
—Mary Pettibone Poole (American Aphorist)

So that ends my first experience of matrimony, which I always thought a highly over-rated performance.
—Isadora Duncan (American Dancer)

He who has known how to love the land has loved eternity.
—Stefan Zeromski (Polish Novelist)

Let us be careful to distinguish modesty, which is ever amiable, from reserve, which is only prudent. A man is hated sometimes for pride, when it was an excess of humility gave the occasion.
—William Shenstone (English Poet)

The cost of liberty is less than the price of repression.
—W. E. B. Du Bois (American Sociologist, Activist)

Dharma is not upheld by talking about it. Dharma is upheld by living in harmony with it.
—Buddhist Teaching

The conductor must make it possible to eliminate himself in the music. If the orchestra feels him doing that, then everything will go well.
—Giuseppe Sinopoli (Italian Conductor, Composer)

Think you are weak, think you lack what it takes, think you will lose, think you are second class—think this way and you are doomed to mediocrity.
—David J. Schwartz (American Self-help Author)

The composer does not sit around and wait for an inspiration to walk up and introduce itself… Making music is actually little else than a matter of invention aided and abetted by emotion. In composing we combine what we know of music with what we feel.
—George Gershwin (American Composer)

There’s small Revenge in Words, but Words may be greatly revenged.
—Benjamin Franklin (American Founding Father, Inventor)

The entire global business community is learning to learn together, becoming a learning community.
—Peter Senge (American Management Consultant)

The older I grow the more earnestly I feel that the few joys of childhood are the best that life has to give.
—Ellen Glasgow (American Novelist)

Gratitude—the meanest and most sniveling attribute in the world.
—Dorothy Parker (American Humorist, Journalist)

Pray not for lighter burdens, but for stronger backs.
—Theodore Roosevelt (American Head of State)

Never dig up in unbelief what you have sown in faith.
—James Gordon Lindsay (American Pentecostal Pastor)

O grant me, Heaven, a middle state,
Neither too humble nor too great;
More than enough, for nature’s ends,
With something left to treat my friends.
—David Mallet (Scottish Poet, Dramatist)

Sentimentality—that’s what we call the sentiment we don’t share.
—Graham Greene (British Novelist)

There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable.
—Voltaire (French Philosopher, Author)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Half-Size Your Goals

July 24, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

At the start of the year, if you’re like most people, you selected a bunch of lofty, impossible goals. Now, halfway through the year, you feel disappointed and let down with yourself. In fact, the longer your goals list, the more overwhelmed and off-track you’ve got.

As part of your mid-year review, reflect on the first six months of the year and adjust your goals for the rest of the year. Revisit your goals, assess your progress, evaluate your approach, and change your timeline. Break big ambitious goals down into more manageable decisions and improve the odds of achieving the type of outcome you desire.

Try half-sized goals. If you’re struggling to attain a goal that seems to be too challenging, set a less difficult version of the goal.

If you’re not getting good results, then you go back and tweak what you’re doing. Don’t feel the need to change everything in your life at once.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The #1 Hack to Build Healthy Habits in the New Year
  2. Don’t Try to ‘Make Up’ for a Missed Workout, Here’s Why
  3. First Things First
  4. Just Start with ONE THING
  5. Small Steps, Big Revolutions: The Kaizen Way // Summary of Robert Maurer’s ‘One Small Step Can Change Your Life’

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Change Management, Discipline, Getting Things Done, Goals, Procrastination, Targets

More Data Isn’t Always Better

July 23, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The hype around so-called ‘big data’ seems to have convinced many that unless the data and analytics are ‘big,’ they won’t have a big impact.

In reality, though, your organization can generate tons of value from the prudent use of smallish data.

Furthermore, you just don’t need big data tools such as Hadoop to solve every data analytics challenge you’ll face. In many cases, humble Microsoft Excel is all you’ll want.

More Data Isn't Always Better - Big Data. Often the missing gap isn’t in big data technologies but in data science skills. The rapid rise in your ability to collect data needs to be seconded by your ability to support, manage, filter, and interpret the data.

Idea for Impact: With data, more isn’t necessarily better. Small data can still have a significant impact. Rather than collecting data for the sake of it, identify why you need data and then go get the most meaningful data that can answer the questions you have.

Focus not on whether the data is small or big but on the problem you’re trying to solve.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. Be Smart by Not Being Stupid
  3. Smart Folks are Most Susceptible to Overanalyzing and Overthinking
  4. Making Tough Decisions with Scant Data
  5. Defect Seeding: Strengthen Systems, Boost Confidence

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Critical Thinking, Decision-Making, Problem Solving, Risk, Thinking Tools, Wisdom

Silence is Consent

July 22, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Qui tacet consentire videtur, ubi loqui debuit ac potuit. (He who is silent, when he ought to have spoken and was able to, is taken to agree.)
—Latin Proverb

If you don’t speak up at a meeting or ask for a deferral of a decision, you can’t come back later and declare, “I really hated that decision. I don’t want it to happen.”

Make sure to speak your mind when you disagree with something because, for many people, silence indicates consent.

Go to the meeting. Challenge the proposal. Stand up and be counted. Let your feelings be heard. Chip in on the debate. Commit to how the decision will be made.

Idea for Impact: Silence, especially when a new, perhaps contentious proposal, is being discussed, indicates a lack of engagement within the team. People who care speak out in a healthy team environment.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Curse of Teamwork: Groupthink
  2. The Pros and Cons of Leading by Consensus: Compromise and Accountability
  3. Ghosting is Rude
  4. Ask for Forgiveness, Not Permission
  5. Stop asking, “What do you do for a living?”

Filed Under: Effective Communication Tagged With: Conversations, Meetings, Social Dynamics, Social Skills, Teams

Change Must Come from Within

July 21, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you want to become the type of person who wants to change, you must become the type of person who embodies that change repeatedly. You must deliberately weave the change into your sense of identity. Seth Godin notes in The Practice (2020,)

If you want to get in shape, it’s not difficult. Spend an hour a day running or at the gym. Do that for six months or a year. Done.

That’s not the difficult part.

The difficult part is becoming the kind of person who goes to the gym every day.

When you use your actions to drive your identity, you’ll naturally become confident in your ability to make fundamental decisions that sustain—and enhance—who you are.

Idea for Impact: Habits stick when they respond to your sense of identity. Change your identity, change how you want to be seen, and you’ll change your life.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Small Steps, Big Revolutions: The Kaizen Way // Summary of Robert Maurer’s ‘One Small Step Can Change Your Life’
  2. Real Ways to Make Habits Stick
  3. The Motivational Force of Hating to Lose
  4. Don’t Try to ‘Make Up’ for a Missed Workout, Here’s Why
  5. Do You Really Need More Willpower?

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Change Management, Coaching, Discipline, Life Plan, Motivation, Procrastination

Don’t Quit Your Job Until

July 20, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Before you quit your job, give your employer a chance to address your issues.

Thoughtfully identify what the real concerns are. Is the problem your current job, your supervisor, a coworker, the processes, the whole company? If the job is the problem, consider making a move within your company before you decide to leave.

Time your concerns appropriately. Use your best insight into how and when to talk to your supervisor based on her temperament.

If you don’t tell your supervisor, she can’t fix it. Who knows what’s feasible—a different job description, team, department, schedule? You may just be surprised at how enriched your experience can be once the key issues are addressed.

Don’t jump ship in frustration if you’re likely to run into the same problems with your next employer. It’s easier to tackle frustrations in a familiar environment at your current employer than at a new company, where you’ll be under pressure to learn the ropes and quickly produce results.

Indeed, your supervisor may not be able to fix your issues even if she knows what they are. But unless you give her a chance, you’ll never know. If you can’t work it out, don’t get hung up on whose “fault” it is.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Five Questions to Spark Your Career Move
  2. How to … Know When it’s Time to Quit Your Job
  3. How You Can Make the Most of the Great Resignation
  4. Transient by Choice: Why Gen Z Is Renting More
  5. Before Jumping Ship, Consider This

Filed Under: Career Development Tagged With: Career Planning, Job Transitions, Managing the Boss, Work-Life

Always Be Ready to Discover What You’re Not Looking For

July 19, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Corn flakes were born (1894) when the Kellogg brothers inadvertently left a pot of boiled wheat overnight on a stove. They passed the flaky dough through bread rollers and baked the flakes to create a crunchy snack.

The Penicillin mold was discovered (1928) by Sir Alexander Fleming, who, upon returning from a vacation, saw a Petri dish that he had left behind without disinfecting. That Petri dish had a zone around an invading fungus where his Staphylococcus bacterium culture had not grown. A mold spore from another lab in the building had accidentally fallen on this culture. The spore had grown while Fleming was away. Rather than throw the dirty Petri dish away, he isolated the mold and identified it as belonging to the Penicillium genus, which kills bacteria by inhibiting new cell walls.

The microwave oven was invented (1945) unintentionally during an experiment by Percy Spencer of Raytheon Corporation. Electromagnetic waves from a new vacuum tube melted a chocolate bar in his pocket while standing next to a magnetron.

Viagra had been developed (1989) as the chemical compound sildenafil citrate to treat hypertension and angina pectoris. Researchers found during the first phase of clinical trials that the compound was good for something else. It was approved for medical use in 1998.

Serendipity is a rich idea that is very central to the creative process. Lots of ideas evolve when you’re working on something unrelated. Physiologist Julius H. Comroe Jr. once said, “Serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering a farmer’s daughter.”

Idea for Impact: Creativity is a disorderly journey. Much of the time, you may never get where you’re going. You may never find what you hope to find. Yet still, you must stay open to the new and the unexpected.

Explore how to transform serendipitous ‘mistakes’ into breakthroughs.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Constraints Inspire Creativity: How IKEA Started the “Flatpack Revolution”
  2. Ideas Evolve While Working on Something Unrelated
  3. The #1 Clue to Disruptive Business Opportunity
  4. Unlocking Your Creative Potential: The Power of a Quiet Mind and Wandering Thoughts
  5. Luck Doesn’t Just Happen

Filed Under: Business Stories, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Creativity, Entrepreneurs, Innovation, Luck, Problem Solving, Thinking Tools

Inspirational Quotations #902

July 18, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi

How easy to be amiable in the midst of happiness and success.
—Sophie Swetchine (Russian Mystic, Writer)

The years of getting up again after a tremendous collapse, these are the good growth years of the people.
—Hans Carossa (German Novelist)

I do not think anyone can be taught anything about humor, but I do think that certain persons may be taught the mechanism of producing humorous copy that will sell to magazines and newspapers.
—Don Marquis (American Humorist, Journalist)

Absence is one of the most useful ingredients of family life, and to dose it rightly is an art like any other.
—Freya Stark (British Explorer, Writer)

A dream is a scripture, and many scriptures are nothing but dreams.
—Umberto Eco (Italian Novelist)

Great is peace, for it is to the world what yeast is to the dough.
—The Talmud (Sacred Text of the Jewish Faith)

Atheism deprives superstition of its stand ground, and compels Theism to reason for its existence.
—George Holyoake (English Social Reformer)

Thought expands, but paralyzes; action animates, but narrows.
—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (German Poet)

All religions have based morality on obedience, that is to say, on voluntary slavery. That is why they have always been more pernicious than any political organization. For the latter makes use of violence, the former—of the corruption of the will.
—Alexander Herzen (Russian Revolutionary, Writer)

Intrinsic is the belief that quality does not happen by accident, it must be planned!
—Joseph Juran (American Quality Scholar)

A desire to “give back” needn’t imply giving to the neediest. It could mean giving to those with the most potential to benefit.
—Marty Nemko (American Career Coach)

Use your weaknesses; aspire to the strength.
—Laurence Olivier (English Actor, Producer,, Director)

The history of progress is written in the blood of men and women who have dared to espouse an unpopular cause, as, for instance, the black man’s right to his body, or woman’s right to her soul.
—Emma Goldman (American Anarchist)

There is a certain justice in criticism. The critic is like a midwife—a tyrannical midwife.
—Stephen Spender (English Poet, Critic)

Our hearts of stone become hearts of flesh when we learn where the outcast weeps.
—Brennan Manning (American Franciscan Priest Theologian, Author)

A human being whose life is nurtured in an advantage which has accrued from the disadvantage of other human beings, and who prefers that this should remain as it is, is a human being by definition only, having much more in common with the bedbug, the tapeworm, the cancer, and the scavengers of the deep sea.
—James Agee (American Man of Letters)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!