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Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Archives for July 2019

Ask This One Question Every Morning to Find Your Focus

July 29, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Here’s a précis of psychologist Ron Friedman’s HBR article on how to spend the first ten minutes of your day:

Ask yourself this question the moment you sit at your desk: The day is over and I am leaving the office with a tremendous sense of accomplishment. What have I achieved?

This exercise is usually effective at helping people distinguish between tasks that simply feel urgent from those that are truly important. Use it to determine the activities you want to focus your energy on.

Then—and this is important—create a plan of attack by breaking down complex tasks into specific actions. Studies show that when it comes to goals, the more specific you are about what you’re trying to achieve, the better your chances of success.

Idea for Impact: Organize Yourself Good Concentration

Starting your day by mulling over proactively on “what should I have achieved” is a wonderful aid in keeping the mind headed in the right direction.

Planning is easier when your energy levels are highest, which, for most people, is first thing in the morning.

Knowing what your goals are before you launch your day can help you focus the mind and hold it steadily to one thing at a time and in the right order.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t Do the Easiest Jobs First
  2. Why Doing a Terrible Job First Actually Works
  3. How to … Tame Your Calendar Before It Tames You
  4. Zeigarnik Effect: How Incomplete Tasks Trigger Stress
  5. Keep Your Eyes on the Prize [Two-Minute Mentor #9]

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Decision-Making, Discipline, Efficiency, Getting Things Done, Mindfulness, Motivation, Procrastination, Questioning, Tardiness, Targets, Task Management, Time Management, Winning on the Job

Inspirational Quotations #799

July 28, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi

There is nothing as deceptive as an obvious fact.
—Arthur Conan Doyle (Scottish Writer)

Did any man, at his death, ever regret his conflicts with himself, his victories over appetite, his scorn of impure pleasure, or his sufferings for righteousness’ sake?
—William Ellery Channing (American Theologian, Poet)

In every life there comes a time when that dream you dream becomes that thing you do.
—Tom Hanks (American Film Actor)

Meditation is simply about being yourself and knowing about who that is. It is about coming to realize that you are on a path whether you like it or not, namely the path that is your life.
—Jon Kabat-Zinn (American Meditation Teacher, Writer)

Wait for it, wait for it! Anticipation is half the fun. So I’ve been told.
—Phil Collins (British Rock Musician, Singer)

Being at the center of a film is a burden one takes on with innocence—the first time. Thereafter, you take it on with trepidation.
—Daniel Day-Lewis (English Actor )

Very readily one indulges in carnal pleasures; later on, alas, come diseases of the body. Even though in the world the ultimate end is death, even then man leaves not his sinful behavior.
—Adi Shankaracharya (Indian Hindu Philosopher)

Obedience to lawful authority is the foundation of manly character.
—Robert E. Lee (American Military General)

If you really understand something, you can: 1) explain it using a clear metaphor and 2) explain the strongest counter-argument to the idea.
—Ben Casnocha (American Entrepreneur, Investor)

It is revolting to have no better reason for a rule of law than that so it was laid down in the time of Henry IV.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (American Jurist, Author)

A bad book is as much of a labor to write as a good one; it comes as sincerely from the author’s soul.
—Aldous Huxley (English Humanist)

Although you may spend your life killing, you will not exhaust all your foes. But if you quell your own anger, your real enemy will be slain.
—Nagarjuna (Indian Buddhist Philosopher)

Life is defined by how much you do, how often you took the difficult road and were rewarded for it.
—Ryan Holiday (American Author)

It is the rule of rules, and the general law of all laws, that every person should observe the fashions of the place where he is.
—Michel de Montaigne (French Essayist)

We are drowning in information, while starving for wisdom. The world henceforth will be run by synthesizers, people able to put together the right information at the right time, think critically about it, and make important choices wisely.
—E. O. Wilson (American Zoologist )

Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
—W. Somerset Maugham (British Novelist)

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.
—Jack London (American Novelist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Your Product May Be Excellent, But Is There A Market For It?

July 24, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Akio Morita, the visionary co-founder of Sony, liked to tell a story about recognizing opportunities and shaping them into business concepts.

Two shoe salesmen … find themselves in a rustic backward part of Africa. The first salesman wires back to his head office: “There is no prospect of sales. Natives do not wear shoes!” The other salesman wires: “No one wears shoes here. We can dominate the market. Send all possible stock.”

Morita, along with his co-founder Masaru Ibuka, was a genius at creating consumer products for which no obvious demand existed, and then generating demand for them. Sony’s hits included such iconic products as a hand-held transistor radio, the Walkman portable audio cassette player, the Diskman portable compact disk player, and the Betamax videocassette recorder.

Products Lost in Translation

As the following case studies will illustrate, many companies haven’t had Sony’s luck in launching products that can stir up demand.

In each case in point, deeply ingrained cultural attitudes affected how consumers failed to embrace products introduced into their respective markets.

Case Study #1: Nestlé’s Paloma Iced Tea in India

Marketing and Product Introduction Failure: Nestle's Paloma Iced Tea in India When Swiss packaged food-multinational Nestlé introduced Paloma iced tea in India in the ’80s, Nestlé’s market assessment was that the Indian beverage market was ready for an iced tea variety.

Sure thing, folks in India love tea. They consume it multiple times a day. However, they must have it hot—even in the heat of the summer. Street-side tea vendors are a familiar sight in India. Huddled around the chaiwalas are patrons sipping hot tea and relishing a savory samosa or a saccharine jalebi.

It’s no wonder, then, that, despite all the marketing efforts, Paloma turned out to be a debacle. Nestlé withdrew the product within a year.

Case Study #2: Kellogg’s Cornflakes in India

The American packaged foods multinational Kellogg’s failed in its initial introduction of cornflakes into the Indian market in the mid ’90s. Kellogg’s quickly realized that its products were alien to Indians’ consumption habits—accustomed to traditional hot, spicy, and heavy grub, the Indians felt hungry after eating a bowl of sweet cornflakes for breakfast. In addition, they poured hot milk over cornflakes rendering them soggy and less appetizing.

Case Study #3: Oreo Cookies in China

Marketing and Product Introduction Case Study: Oreo Green-tea Ice Cream Cookies in China When Kraft Foods, launched Oreo in China in 1996, America’s best-loved sandwich cookie didn’t fare very well. Executives in Kraft’s Chicago headquarters expected to just drop the American cookie into the Chinese market and watch it fly off shelves.

Chinese consumers found that Oreos were too sweet. The ritual of twisting open Oreo cookies, licking the cream inside, and then dunking it in milk before enjoying them was considered a “strangely American habit.”

Not until Kraft’s local Chinese leaders developed a local concept—a wafer format in subtler flavors such as green-tea ice cream—did Oreo become popular.

Idea for Impact: Your expertise may not translate in unfamiliar and foreign markets

In marketing, if success is all about understanding the consumers, you must be grounded in the reality of their lives to be able to understand their priorities.

  • Don’t assume that what makes a product successful in one market will be a winning formula in other markets as well.
  • Make products resonate with local cultures by contextualizing the products and tailoring them for local preferences.
  • Use small-scale testing to make sure your product can sway buyers.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Loss Aversion Mental Model: A Case Study on Why People Think Spirit is a Horrible Airline
  2. Starbucks’ Oily Brew: Lessons on Innovation Missing the Mark
  3. What Taco Bell Can Teach You About Staying Relevant
  4. Find out What Your Customers Want and Give it to Them
  5. The Mere Exposure Effect: Why We Fall for the Most Persistent

Filed Under: Business Stories, Leadership, Managing Business Functions, MBA in a Nutshell, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills, The Great Innovators Tagged With: Biases, Creativity, Customer Service, Entrepreneurs, Feedback, Innovation, Leadership Lessons, Parables, Persuasion, Thought Process

Inspirational Quotations #798

July 21, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi

It’s the moment you think you can’t that you realize you can.
—Celine Dion (Canadian Singer)

Children, you must remember something. A man without ambition is dead. A man with ambition but no love is dead. A man with ambition and love for his blessings here on earth is ever so alive.
—Pearl Bailey (American Singer, Actress)

Men trust their ears less than their eyes.
—Herodotus (Ancient Greek Historian)

Pain is the deepest thing we have in our nature, and union through pain and suffering has always seemed more real and holy than any other.
—Arthur Henry Hallam (English Essayist, Poet)

I suppose that leadership at one time meant muscle; but today it means getting along with people.
—Indira Gandhi (Indian Head of State)

Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live.
—Anais Nin (French-American Essayist)

The beginning of pride and hatred lies in worldly desire, and the strength of your desire if from habit. When an evil tendency becomes confirmed by habit, rage is triggered when anyone restrains you.
—Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi (Persian Muslim Mystic)

Do what you can to show you care about other people, and you will make our world a better place.
—Rosalynn Carter (American Humanitarian, First Lady)

To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness.
—Swami Chinmayananda (Indian Hindu Teacher)

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.
—Bertrand A. Russell (British Philosopher, Mathematician)

To regard human beings as tools—as instruments—for the use of other human beings is not only unscientific but it is repugnant, stupid and short sighted. Tools are made by man but have not the autonomy of their maker—they have not man’s time-binding capacity for initiation, for self-direction, and self-improvement.
—Alfred Korzybski (Polish-American Philosopher)

It is possible to believe that all the past is but the beginning of a beginning, and that all that is and has been is but the twilight of the dawn. It is possible to believe that all the human mind has ever accomplished is but the dream before the awakening.
—H. G. Wells (English Novelist, Historian)

This is important: to get to know people, listen, expand the circle of ideas. The world is crisscrossed by roads that come closer together and move apart, but the important thing is that they lead towards the good.
—Pope Francis (Religious Leader)

Medicine deals with the states of health and disease in the human body. It is a truism of philosophy that a complete knowledge of a thing can only be obtained by elucidating its causes and antecedents, provided, of course, such causes exist. In medicine it is, therefore, necessary that causes of both health and disease should be determined.
—Avicenna (Persian Physician, Philosopher, Polymath)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Benefits, Not Boasts

July 18, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Just about every interaction is about selling something, whether you realize it or not.

When you try to be persuasive in a pitch or a presentation, you may come to pass as being overconfident at best, or boastful at worst.

Here’s a method that can help you transform your boasts into benefits in support of a prospective customer.

“I have 15 years of experience in this field,” may sound boastful. Instead, say, “I bring to you 15 years of experience in this field, promising you that, should any problems surface, they will be handled promptly and proficiently.” This tolerable way to promote yourself also won’t make you seem forceful.

More to the point,

  • Avoid self-superiority declarations such as “I am better than others.” Instead, couch your claims as endorsements from others: “My past clients have told me that … .” According to a study by organizational theorist Jeffrey Pfeffer, you’ll be regarded more likable and competent if you can get somebody else (even a paid agent) to sing your praises for you.
  • Steer clear of humblebragging, i.e. masking a boast as a self-deprecating statement as in “I’m a perfectionist at times; it is so hard!” Humblebraggers appear less sincere than blatant braggarts do.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to Project Positive Expectations
  2. How to Mediate in a Dispute
  3. Buy Yourself Time
  4. How to … Make a Memorable Elevator Speech
  5. Become a Smart, Restrained Communicator Like Benjamin Franklin

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Communication, Confidence, Conversations, Customer Service, Negotiation, Persuasion, Skills for Success, Social Skills, Winning on the Job

Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?

July 15, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In a recent article on “Facebook envy,” I wrote about how looking at the carefully curated lives of others on social media can provoke insecurities about one’s own accomplishments—or lack thereof.

In response, a blog reader directed me to journalist Keith Breene’s writeup about a study on why millennials aren’t happy at work. Here’s a précis:

Much of the stress and anxiety reported by twenty-somethings is caused by ruthless comparison with peers. Emerson Csorba, director of the consultancy Gen Y, reported one millennial describing the challenge like this: “If we are not doing something exceptional or don’t feel important and fulfilled for what we are doing, we have a hard time.”

Where is the pressure coming from? With millennials more connected than any previous generation, opportunities to compare levels of success are ubiquitous, creating anxiety and insecurity. The accomplishments of peers, shown on social media, are a constant prompt to examine millennials’ own successes or failures. The problem is made much worse by the fact that only positive achievements are posted—you only ever see the good stuff.

Even though everyone knows that social media is a kind of PR feed of people’s lives, when you spend so much time online, these messages can easily become overpowering.

Idea for Impact: Resist the Envious Consequence of Social Media

Everyone’s lives are far from perfect, notwithstanding the dreamy pictures they’re posting on social media.

Protect yourself and your own internal goodness from self-sabotage. Rejoice in your real accomplishments without needing to show off to anyone else or seek external validation. Care less for what other people think.

Life isn’t a competition. There isn’t a race to the finish lines.

Furthermore, making others envious should never be a motivation for curating your social media posts. Nothing good comes from trying to be the envy of others.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to … Care Less About What Other People Think
  2. Entitlement and Anger Go Together
  3. Group Polarization: Like-Mindedness is Dangerous, Especially with Social Media
  4. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be
  5. Is It Worth It to Quit Social Media?

Filed Under: Career Development, Managing People, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Confidence, Conflict, Conversations, Conviction, Getting Along, Mindfulness, Networking, Relationships, Social Dynamics, Social Life, Social Media, Stress, Wisdom, Worry

Inspirational Quotations #797

July 14, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi

In fighting and in everyday life you should be determined though calm. Meet the situation without tenseness yet not recklessly, your spirit settled yet unbiased. An elevated spirit is weak and a low spirit is weak. Do not let the enemy see your spirit.
—Miyamoto Musashi (Japanese Samurai Warrior, Artist)

Those are the same stars, and that is the same moon, that look down upon your brothers and sisters, and which they see as they look up to them, though they are ever so far away from us, and each other.
—Sojourner Truth (African-American Abolitionist)

There is not a man of us who does not at times need a helping hand to be stretched out to him, and then shame upon him who will not stretch out the helping hand to his brother.
—Theodore Roosevelt (American Head of State)

There is always a heavy demand for fresh mediocrity. In every generation the least cultivated taste has the largest appetite.
—Paul Gauguin (French Painter)

Too humble is half proud.
—Yiddish Proverb

Race hate isn’t human nature; race hate is the abandonment of human nature.
—Orson Welles (American Film Director, Actor)

The historian must have some conception of how men who are not historians behave. Otherwise he will move in a world of the dead. He can only gain that conception through personal experience, and he can only use his personal experiences when he is a genius.
—E. M. Forster (English Novelist)

One man can be a crucial ingredient on a team, but one man cannot make a team.
—Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (American Basketball Player)

If you want to know the taste of a pear, you must change the pear by eating it yourself. If you want to know the theory and methods of revolution, you must take part in revolution. All genuine knowledge originates in direct experience.
—Mao Zedong (Chinese Statesman)

When under attack, no country is obligated to collect permission slips from allies to strike back.
—Charles Krauthammer (American Political Columnist)

What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
—Adolf Hitler (German Fascist Dictator)

Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
—Carl Sandburg (American Poet, Historian)

Success, in a generally accepted sense of the term, means the opportunity to experience and to realize to the maximum the forces that are within us.
—David Sarnoff (American Broadcaster, Businessman )

Wise is the person at either end. Who can in due measure spare as well as spend.
—Lucian (Greek Satirical Writer)

Lasting peace is sought, it is essential to adopt international measures to improve the lot of the masses. The welfare of the entire human race must replace hunger and oppression. People of the world must be taught to give up envy, avarice and rancor.
—Mustafa Kemal Ataturk (Founder of the Turkish Republic)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Microsoft’s Resurgence Story // Book Summary of CEO Satya Nadella’s ‘Hit Refresh’

July 10, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Leader as Sense-Maker and Cultural Curator

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella is an exemplar of a leader as sense-maker. He has revitalized how Microsoft’s strategy, mission, and culture connect people, products, and services—inside and outside his company.

'Hit Refresh' by Satya Nadella (ISBN 0062959727) Nadella has a success story to tell, and his Hit Refresh: The Quest to Rediscover Microsoft’s Soul and Imagine a Better Future for Everyone (2017, with two co-authors) highlights how he is a different kind of leader transforming Microsoft into a different kind of company.

Hit Refresh‘s broad objective is to lay out a vision for the future of the company. The book is aimed at people who work at or with Microsoft. Many employees were given a special imprint of book with Nadella’s faux-handwritten annotations in the margins and highlighted snippets.

The book’s narrative arc shifts from a personal memoir to a management how-to, and then to technological futurism. The latter—and perhaps the least interesting—portion features Nadella’s forethoughts on artificial intelligence, augmented reality, and quantum computing, as well as their socio-economic implications.

Satya Nadella Shook Things Up by De-Ballmering Microsoft

Nadella took Microsoft’s reins in February 2014 after long-time CEO Steve Ballmer resigned in August 2013. Under Nadella’s watch, Microsoft quickly became more open and more nimble as an organization. Its cloud computing, Office 365, and gaming platform franchises are all running remarkably well.

Microsoft pivoted its business model around subscription products that produce recurrent revenue. It acquired Mojang (creator of the popular Minecraft videogame title,) LinkedIn, and GitHub. It ditched Nokia and embraced open source software—it’s even including a Linux kernel in a future Windows release.

Today one of my top priorities is to make sure that our billion customers, no matter which phone or platform they choose to use, have their needs met so that we continue to grow. To do that, sometimes we have to bury the hatchet with old rivals, pursue surprising new partnerships, and revive longstanding relationships. Over the years we’ve developed the maturity to become more obsessed with customer needs, thereby learning to coexist and compete.

A Renewed Sense of Purpose: The Leader’s Tone Steers the Organizational Culture

Hit Refresh‘s foremost take-away is how the tone at the top sets an organization’s guiding values. Properly contemplated, propagated, and nurtured, Nadella’s approach became the foundation upon which the culture of Microsoft has been remade.

With “the C in CEO is for curator of culture,” Nadella’s dominant mission has been to recreate Microsoft’s underlying beliefs, values, and expectations in the eyes of its employees, business partners, customers, investors, and the society. This culture is to be consistent within Microsoft and characterize all the discernable patterns of behavior across the organization.

When I was named Microsoft’s third CEO in February 2014, I told employees that renewing our company’s culture would be my highest priority. I told them I was committed to ruthlessly removing barriers to innovation so we could get back to what we all joined the company to do—to make a difference in the world.

Nadella’s playbook has consisted of challenging complacency, instituting a “growth mindset,” being open-minded enough to welcome new technology and collaborate with Microsoft’s traditional competitors (“frenemies,”) and shifting from a “know it all” to a “learn it all” mindset.

I had essentially asked employees to identify their innermost passions and to connect them in some way to our new mission and culture. In so doing, we would transform our company and change the world.

“Driven by a Sense of Empathy and a Desire to Empower Others”

Core to Nadella’s framework is his conviction that individuals are wired to have empathy. “The alchemy of purpose, innovation, and empathy” is indispensible “not only for creating harmony within organizations but also for creating products that resonate.”

Nadella describes how caring for a special-needs child and his wife Anu’s sacrifices for the family made him become conscious of the significance of empathy. Specifically, Anu helped him recast these setbacks as opportunities to expand his worldview.

Being a husband and a father has taken me on an emotional journey. It has helped me develop a deeper understanding of people of all abilities and of what love and human ingenuity can accomplish. … It’s just that life’s experience has helped me build a growing sense of empathy for an ever-widening circle of people. … My passion is to put empathy at the center of everything I pursue—from the products we launch, to the new markets we enter, to the employees, customers, and partners we work with.

The most interesting section of Hit Refresh is Nadella’s personal journey growing up in India, migrating to America, and working his way up the career ladder at Microsoft. The only child of a Sanskrit scholar and a civil servant, Nadella was hooked on cricket (it taught him how to compete vigorously, the virtue of working in teams, and the importance of leadership direction.)

Recommendation: Satya Nadella’s Hit Refresh is a satisfactory first take on his remarkable revamp of the culture of a company that had become set in its ways. Microsoft’s transformation has been nothing short of dramatic—there’s a lot more to be done and written about.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Book Summary of Nicholas Carlson’s ‘Marissa Mayer and the Fight to Save Yahoo!’
  2. Two Leadership Lessons from United Airlines’ CEO, Oscar Munoz
  3. Better to Quit While You’re Ahead // Leadership Lessons from Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer
  4. Don’t Be A Founder Who Won’t Let Go
  5. Heartfelt Leadership at United Airlines and a Journey Through Adversity: Summary of Oscar Munoz’s Memoir, ‘Turnaround Time’

Filed Under: Business Stories, Leadership Reading, Managing People Tagged With: Bill Gates, Change Management, Leadership Lessons, Microsoft, Transitions

Inspirational Quotations #796

July 7, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi

My destiny is solitude, and my life is work.
—Richard Wagner (German Composer)

A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind.
—Albert Szent-Gyorgyi (Hungarian-American Biochemist)

It is better to discuss things, to argue and engage in polemics than make perfidious plans of mutual destruction.
—Mikhail Gorbachev (Soviet Head of State)

The old prose writers wrote as if they were speaking to an audience; among us, prose is invariably written for the eye alone.
—Barthold G. Niebuhr (German Historian)

In modern times, it is only by the power of association that men of any calling exercise their due influence in the community.
—Elihu Root (American Statesman)

Ambition leads me not only farther than any other man has been before me, but as far as I think it possible for man to go.
—James Cook (English Explorer, Cartographer)

Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people—your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.
—Barbara Bush (American First Lady)

As long as there is suffering in the world, as long as there is the great curiosity to unravel truth, as long as men and women have some intense desire to be fulfilled, as long as there is wisdom in this world, the future of religion is assured.
—Chakravarthi Rajagopalachari (Indian Statesman, Author)

Most people are good at a handful of things and utterly miserable at most.
—Tim Ferriss (American Self-help Author)

Glory is not a conceit. It is not a decoration for valor. Glory belongs to the act of being constant to something greater than yourself, to a cause, to your principles, to the people on whom you rely and who rely on you in rerun.
—John McCain (American Politician)

History does not repeat itself in the same way each time, but certain trends and consequences are constants. If you do not know history, you think short term. If you know history, you think medium and long term.
—Lee Kuan Yew (Singaporean Statesman)

Doing no injury to any one, dwell in the world full of love and kindness.
—Nagasena (Buddhist Intellectual)

I am writing biography, not history, and the truth is that the most brilliant exploits often tell us nothing of the virtues or vices of the men who performed them, while on the other hand a chance remark or a joke may reveal far more of a man’s character than the mere feat of winning battles in which thousands fall, or of marshalling great armies, or laying siege to cities.
—Plutarch (Greek Biographer)

Purity of mind and purity of conduct—these two depend upon the purity of a man’s companions.
—The Thirukkural (Indian Tamil Literary Classic)

If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.
—Amy Tan (Chinese-American Novelist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

A Trick to Help you Praise At Least Three People Every Day

July 2, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Scott Adams, the American cartoonist who created Dilbert, writes in How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big (2013),

Children are accustomed to a continual stream of criticisms and praise, but adults can go weeks without a compliment while enduring criticism both at work and at home. Adults are starved for a kind word. When you understand the power of honest praise (as opposed to bullshitting, flattery, and sucking up), you realize that withholding it borders on immoral. If you see something that impresses you, a decent respect to humanity insists you voice your praise.

Lavish Praise on People and They’ll Flourish

In his masterful self-help manual, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936), Dale Carnegie quotes the American steel magnate Charles M Schwab who was renowned for his people skills,

I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people, the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. …

I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise. …

I have yet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism.

Carnegie suggests, “Be lavish with praise, but only in a genuine way … remember, we all crave appreciation and recognition, and will do almost anything to get it. But nobody wants insincerity. Nobody wants flattery.”

How to Praise No Less Than Three People Every Day

Here’s a simple, effective technique to unleash the power of praise and honest appreciation:

  • Start each day with three coins in your left pocket.
  • Transfer one coin to your right pocket each time you praise someone or remark about something favorably. See my previous article on how to recognize people in six easy steps.
  • Make sure that you have all the three coins in your right pocket by the end of the day, but don’t give compliments willy-nilly.

Avoid flattery and pretentiousness, especially when someone thinks that they truly don’t deserve the praise. As well, don’t undercut praise with criticism (as in a sandwich feedback.)

Idea for Impact: If you can’t be bothered with opportunities to elevate others’ day with a few simple words of appreciation, perhaps you’re just too insecure or emotional stingy. Even if praise is directed on others, it emphasizes your own good character—it shows you’re can go beyond self-absorption in the self-consumed society that we live in.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How Small Talk in Italy Changed My Perspective on Talking to Strangers
  2. How to Accept Compliments Gracefully
  3. You Always Have to Say ‘Good’
  4. Avoid Trigger Words: Own Your Words with Grace and Care
  5. Silence Speaks Louder in Conversations

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Communication, Conversations, Courtesy, Etiquette, Getting Along, Likeability, Personality, Relationships, Social Skills

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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RECOMMENDED BOOK:
The Power of a Positive No

The Power of a Positive No: William Ury

Harvard's negotiation professor William Ury details a simple, yet effective three-step technique for saying 'No' decisively and successfully, without destroying relationships.

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