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Right Attitudes

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Archives for December 2017

Inspirational Quotations #717

December 31, 2017 By Nagesh Belludi

When you can’t have anything else, you can have virtue.
—Don Marquis (American Humorist)

There are two modes of establishing our reputation—to be praised by honest men, and to be abused by rogues. It is best, however, to secure the former, because it will invariably be accompanied by the latter.
—Charles Caleb Colton (English Angelic Priest)

Your readiest desire is your path to joy even if it destroys you.
—Holbrook Jackson (British Journalist)

I think knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that’s good taste.
—Lucille Ball (American Actor)

Right is its own defense.
—Bertolt Brecht (German Poet)

It is a truth but too well known, that rashness attends youth, as prudence does old age.
—Cicero (Roman Philosopher)

In the future, instead of striving to be right at a high cost, it will be more appropriate to be flexible and plural at a lower cost. If you cannot accurately predict the future then you must flexibly be prepared to deal with various possible futures.
—Edward de Bono (Maltese Physician)

Morale is the greatest single factor in successful wars.
—Dwight D. Eisenhower (American Head of State)

Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.
—Mohandas K. Gandhi (Indian Hindu Political leader)

A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.
—Zhuang Zhou (Chinese Philosopher)

A man’s memory may almost become the art of continually varying and misrepresenting his past, according to his interest in the present.
—George Santayana (Spanish Philosopher)

There is no greater impediment to progress in the sciences than the desire to see it take place too quickly.
—Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (German Scientist)

The search for truth is more precious than its possession.
—Albert Einstein (German-born Theoretical Physicist)

Absence of occupation is not rest; a mind quite vacant is a mind distressed.
—William Cowper (English Anglican Poet)

It has been a thousand times observed, and I must observe it once more, that the hours we pass with happy prospects in view are more pleasing than those crowned with fruition.
—Oliver Goldsmith (Irish Author)

The hallmark of courage in our age of conformity is the capacity to stand on one’s convictions not obstinately or defiantly (these are gestures of defensiveness, not courage) nor as a gesture of retaliation, but simply because these are what one believes.
—Rollo May (American Philosopher)

The only truly affluent are those who do not want more than they have.
—Erich Fromm (German Psychologist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #716

December 24, 2017 By Nagesh Belludi

Rich people see opportunities. Poor people see obstacles. Rich people see potential growth. Poor people see potential loss. Rich people focus on rewards. Poor focus on the risks.
—T. Harv Eker (American Motivational Speaker)

Prepare yourself for the world, as the athletes used to do for their exercise; oil your mind and your manners, to give them the necessary suppleness and flexibility; strength alone will not do.
—Earl of Chesterfield

Many things can make you miserable for weeks; few can bring you a whole day of happiness.
—Mignon McLaughlin (American Journalist)

No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to flee and fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams.
—Jesse Jackson (American Baptist Civil Rights Activist)

Knowledge is a process of piling up facts; wisdom lies in their simplification.
—Martin H. Fischer

To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job.
—Simone de Beauvoir (French Philosopher)

Those who love to be feared fear to be loved, and they themselves are more afraid than anyone, for whereas other men fear only them, they fear everyone.
—Francis de Sales (French Catholic Saint)

I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we all are seeking something better in life. So, I think, the very motion of our life is towards happiness.
—The 14th Dalai Lama (Tibetan Buddhist Religious Leader)

Training and managing your own mind is the most important skill you could ever own, in terms of both happiness and success.
—T. Harv Eker (American Motivational Speaker)

The prompter the refusal, the less the disappointment.
—Publilius Syrus (Syrian-born Latin Writer)

Neither praise or blame is the object of true criticism. Justly to discriminate, firmly to establish, wisely to prescribe, and honestly to award. These are the true aims and duties of criticism.
—William Gilmore Simms (American Poet)

The essence of the Liberal outlook lies not in what opinions are held, but in how they are held: instead of being held dogmatically, they are held tentatively, and with a consciousness that new evidence may at any moment lead to their abandonment.
—Bertrand A. Russell (British Philosopher)

Not everyone will become a great leader, but everyone can become a better leader.
—John C. Maxwell (American Christian Professional Speaker)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Five Pitfalls of Coaching Success

December 20, 2017 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

According to Coaching, Mentoring and Managing: Breakthrough Strategies to Solve Performance Problems and Build Winning Teams (1996) by William Hendricks, et al., some managers instinctively do things that thwart their team’s performance.

Examine if you’re guilty of one or more of the following.

  1. Do you tend to speak at your employees, not with them? Your style of instruction could be accompanied by the frequent use of phrases such as “I want” and “you should.”
  2. Do you tend to exaggerate situations or behavior? Your tendency to color an employee’s behavior using qualifiers such as “always,” “never,” and “everyone” could be dragging him down. Generalizations could crush the employee’s sense of self-esteem. If you want to create positive change, instill pride, not shame.
  3. Do you sometimes assume that your employee knows a problem and the solution? It’s possible that the employee may not recognize the problem. Skillfully use lines of questioning that can help the employee drill down into the details and reveal a higher-level issue.
  4. Do you often fail to follow up? If you don’t follow up on directions or performance expectations, you will inevitably find yourself reacting to unpleasant surprises.
  5. Do you not reward improved behavior? If you don’t reward positive changes in behavior, you will not expand behavioral adjustments to permanent performance improvement. Managerial feedback and coaching is all about reinforcing positive behaviors and encouraging corrections to damaging behavior.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Self-Assessment Quiz: Are You A Difficult Boss?
  2. General Electric’s Jack Welch Identifies Four Types of Managers
  3. How to Lead Sustainable Change: Vision v Results
  4. Eight Ways to Keep Your Star Employees Around
  5. Don’t Push Employees to Change

Filed Under: Leading Teams, Mental Models Tagged With: Coaching, Feedback, Motivation, Performance Management

A Sense of Urgency

December 18, 2017 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The most successful managers I know are highly attentive of their colleagues’ sense of urgency and incessantly adapt to them.

In his excellent Steve Jobs biography, Walter Isaacson evokes Apple CEO (and operations wizard) Tim Cook’s responsiveness and a sense of urgency:

At a meeting early in his tenure, Cook was told of a problem with one of Apple’s Chinese suppliers. “This is really bad,” he said. “Someone should be in China driving this.” Thirty minutes later he looked at an operations executive sitting at the table and unemotionally asked, “Why are you still here?” The executive stood up, drove directly to the San Francisco airport, and bought a ticket to China. He became one of Cook’s top deputies.

Idea for Impact: Bosses and customers often respond more positively to your focus on creating a sense of urgency before emerging problems erupt in a crisis.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. One of the Tests of Leadership is the Ability to Sniff out a Fire Quickly
  2. Some Influencers Just Aren’t Worth Placating
  3. What it Takes to Be a Hit with Customers
  4. No Boss Likes a Surprise—Good or Bad
  5. Make ‘Em Thirsty

Filed Under: Leadership, Managing People, Project Management, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Conflict, Customer Service, Decision-Making, Great Manager, Leadership Lessons, Mental Models, Parables, Performance Management, Persuasion, Skills for Success, Winning on the Job

Inspirational Quotations #715

December 17, 2017 By Nagesh Belludi

The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.
—Friedrich Nietzsche (German Philosopher, Scholar)

The people who oppose your ideas the most are those who represent the establishment that your ideas will upset.
—Anthony J. D’Angelo

Faith embraces many truths which seem to contradict each other.
—Blaise Pascal (French Catholic Mathematician)

You’ll likely learn more of enduring value from an hour of wise googling than from any course.
—Marty Nemko (American Career Coach, Author)

A great idea is usually original to more than one discoverer. Great ideas come when the world needs them. They surround the world’s ignorance and press for admission.
—Austin Phelps (American Presbyterian Clergyman)

The love of money is the root of all evil.
—The Holy Bible (Scripture in the Christian Faith)

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
—Robert A. Heinlein (American Novelist)

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
—George Bernard Shaw (Irish Playwright)

Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect.
—George Santayana (Spanish Philosopher)

Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive.
—Andrew Grove (Hungarian-born American Businessperson)

Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.
—Warren Buffett (American Investor)

True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information.
—Winston Churchill (British Head of State)

Real, constructive mental power lies in the creative thought that shapes your destiny, and your hour-by-hour mental conduct produces power for change in your life. Develop a train of thought on which to ride. The nobility of your life as well as your happiness depends upon the direction in which that train of thought is going.
—Laurence J. Peter (Canadian-born American Educator)

The more a man possesses over and above what he uses, the more careworn he becomes.
—George Bernard Shaw (Irish Playwright)

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
—Alvin Toffler

The artist doesn’t have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews. The ones who want to write don’t have the time to read reviews.
—William Faulkner (American Novelist)

Life is the continuous adjustment of internal relations to external relations.
—Herbert Spencer (English Polymath)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotations #714

December 10, 2017 By Nagesh Belludi

By nature man hates change; seldom will he quit his old home till it has actually fallen around his ears.
—Thomas Carlyle (Scottish Writer)

It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the other fellow’s viewpoint, and he understands ours, then we can sit down and work out our differences.
—Harry S. Truman (American Head of State)

Let every dawn of the morning be to you as the beginning of life. And let every setting of the sun be to you as its close. Then let everyone of these short lives leave its sure record of some kindly thing done for others; some good strength of knowledge gained for yourself.
—John Ruskin (English Art Critic)

Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.
—Max Lucado (American Christian Author)

No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved.
—Mignon McLaughlin (American Journalist)

Sum up at night what thou hast done by day, and in the morning what thou hast to do.—Dress and undress thy soul; mark the decay and growth of it.—If with thy watch, that too be down, then wind up both; since we shall be most surely judged, make thine accounts agree.
—George Herbert (Welsh Anglican Poet)

Your faith is what you believe, not what you know.
—John Lancaster Spalding (American Catholic Clergyman)

The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.
—Albert Einstein (German-born Theoretical Physicist)

The only real failure in life is one not learned from.
—Anthony J. D’Angelo

Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
—Eleanor Roosevelt (American First Lady)

History is not the story of heroes entirely. It is often the story of cruelty and injustice and shortsightedness. There are monsters, there is evil, there is betrayal. That’s why people should read Shakespeare and Dickens as well as history—they will find the best, the worst, the height of noble attainment and the depths of depravity.
—David McCullough (American Historian)

Whenever I hear people talking about liberal ideas, I am always astounded that men should love to fool themselves with empty sounds. An idea should never be liberal; it must be vigorous, positive, and without loose ends so that it may fulfill its divine mission and be productive. The proper place for liberality is in the realm of the emotions.
—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (German Poet)

You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again.
—Benjamin Franklin (American Political leader)

Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.
—Zig Ziglar (American Author)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Warren Buffett’s Advice on How to Focus on Priorities and Subdue Distractions

December 8, 2017 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you persistently experience an overpowering sense of being besieged with tasks and responsibilities, perhaps a personal productivity transformation technique suggested by Warren Buffett may help.

Psychologist Angela Duckworth of the University of Pennsylvania shares a well-known anecdote about Buffett in her bestselling Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance:

The story goes like this: Buffett turns to his faithful pilot and says that he must have dreams greater than flying Buffett around to where he needs to go. The pilot confesses that, yes, he does. And then Buffett takes him through three steps.

First, you write down a list of twenty-five career goals.

Second, you do some soul-searching and circle the five highest-priority goals. Just five.

Third, you take a good hard look at the twenty goals you didn’t circle. These you avoid at all costs. They’re what distract you; they eat away time and energy, taking your eye from the goals that matter more.

As I’ve written before (see the world’s shortest course in time management, and detailed three-step course on time logging, time analysis, time budgeting,) the most effective time management practice involves eliminating the non-essentials—those numerous things you can and want to do—and focusing on the very few things you must do.

Idea for Impact: Success comes at a cost: the most time-effective folks I know are significantly better at dropping their second-rate objectives.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Get Your Priorities Straight
  2. Zeigarnik Effect: How Incomplete Tasks Trigger Stress
  3. Hofstadter’s Law: Why Everything Takes Longer Than Anticipated
  4. Let Go of Sunk Costs
  5. Everything in Life Has an Opportunity Cost

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Biases, Decision-Making, Discipline, Procrastination, Targets, Task Management, Thought Process, Time Management

Kinship with Nature

December 4, 2017 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

I’m currently reading Indian philosopher and statesman Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan’s The Philosophy of Rabindranath Tagore (1918.)

Remarking that “a true seer sees in natural facts spiritual significance,” Radhakrishnan comments about Tagore’s revealing of the relation of the individual to the universe, showing how the Indian way of thinking not only emboldens oneness with nature, but also—or especially—with the divine consciousness therein. Radhakrishnan quotes from Tagore’s Sādhanā: The Realisation of Life (1916,)

The Indian mind never has any hesitation in acknowledging its kinship with nature, its unbroken relation with all.

…

The earth, water and light, fruits and flowers, to her were not merely physical phenomena to be turned to use and then left aside. They were necessary to her in the attainment of the ideal of perfection, as every note is necessary to the completeness of the symphony.

…

The man whose acquaintance with the world does not lead him deeper than science leads him, will never understand what it is that the man with the spiritual vision finds in these natural phenomena. The water does not merely cleanse his limbs, but it purifies his heart; for it touches his soul. The earth does not merely hold his body, but it gladdens his mind; for its contact is more than a physical contact, it is a living presence. When a man does not realise his kinship with the world, he lives in a prison-house whose walls are alien to him. When he meets the eternal spirit in all objects, then is he emancipated, for then he discovers the fullest significance of the world into which he is born; then he finds himself in perfect truth, and his harmony with the All is established.

Image Credit: Joshua Earle at Unsplash

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Filed Under: Belief and Spirituality Tagged With: India, Philosophy

Inspirational Quotations #713

December 3, 2017 By Nagesh Belludi

Among well-bred people a mutual deference is affected, contempt for others is disguised; authority concealed; attention given to each in his turn; and an easy stream of conversation maintained without vehemence, without interruption, without eagerness for victory, and without any airs of superiority.
—David Hume (Scottish Philosopher, Historian)

The great difficulty is first to win a reputation; the next to keep it while you live; and the next to preserve it after you die, when affection and interest are over, and nothing but sterling excellence can preserve your name. Never suffer youth to be an excuse for inadequacy, nor age and fame to be an excuse for indolence.
—Benjamin Haydon (English Painter)

The road to success is not to be run upon by seven-leagued boots. Step by step, little by little, bit by bit—that is the way to wealth, that is the way to wisdom, that is the way to glory. Pounds are the sons, not of pounds, but of pence.
—Charles Buxton

When we speak evil of others, we generally condemn ourselves.
—Publilius Syrus (Syrian-born Latin Writer)

The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.
—Orison Swett Marden (American New Thought Writer)

In order to be a leader a man must have followers. And to have followers, a man must have their confidence. Hence, the supreme quality for a leader is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office. If a man’s associates find him guilty of being phony, if they find that he lacks forthright integrity, he will fail. His teachings and actions must square with each other. The first great need, therefore is integrity and high purpose.
—Dwight D. Eisenhower (American Head of State)

A thousand words leave not the same deep impression as does a single deed.
—Henrik Ibsen (Norwegian Playwright)

You’ll never succeed in idealizing hard work. Before you can dig mother earth you’ve got to take off your ideal jacket. The harder a man works, at brute labor, the thinner becomes his idealism, the darker his mind.
—D. H. Lawrence (English Novelist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

What the Buddha Taught About Restraining and Dealing with Anger

December 1, 2017 By Nagesh Belludi 2 Comments

Buddhist psychology identifies anger as one of the six root kleshas, detrimental emotional states that can cloud the mind, lead us to “unwholesome” actions, and cause our suffering.

Chapter XVII of the Dhammapada (ref. Max Muller’s Wisdom of the Buddha) compiles the teachings of the Buddha and his monastic community on the topic of restraining and dealing with anger:

  • “He who holds back rising anger like a rolling chariot, him I call a real driver; other people are but holding the reins.” (Verse 222)
  • “Beware of bodily anger, and control thy body! Leave the sins of the body, and with thy body practise virtue!” (Verse 231)
  • “Beware of the anger of the tongue, and control thy tongue! Leave the sins of the tongue, and practise virtue with thy tongue!” (Verse 232)
  • “Beware of the anger of the mind, and control thy mind! Leave the sins of the mind, and practise virtue with thy mind!” (Verse 233)
  • “The wise who control their body, who control their tongue, the wise who control their mind, are indeed well controlled.” (Verse 234)

As I’ve mentioned before, you will be at a marked disadvantage in life if you’re unable to perceive, endure, and manage negative emotions. And anger is the hardest of the negative emotions to subdue.

Despite the seemingly abstract nature of the questions philosophers ask, most philosophy books argue that investigating the nature of anger is important. Not only is it such a destructive emotion, but anger often sums up many other self-judgments—sadness, powerlessness, fear, regret—that are entwined into it.

The Zen priest Jules Shuzen Harris advices approaching feelings of anger with awareness and mindfulness in his insightful article on “Uprooting the Seeds of Anger” in the Summer 2012 issue of Tricycle: The Buddhist Review:

We must remember that we create our own anger. No one makes it for us. If we move from a particular event directly to our reaction, we are skipping a crucial awareness, a higher perspective on our own reactivity. What is that middle step, that deeper awareness? It is mindfulness about our own beliefs, our attitude, our understanding or lack of understanding about what has really happened. We notice that a given situation reliably provokes our anger, and yet somebody else can be exposed to the very same situation and not react angrily. Why is that? No one can tell us: we each have to find the answer ourselves, and to do that, we need to give ourselves the space to reflect mindfully.

We’re going to keep getting angry. It’s going to come up. It has come up in our lives before, and it will come up again. This practice is about becoming more mindful, becoming aware of how we are getting stuck. With care and work, we find ways to get unstuck. But we also know that the moment we get unstuck, we’re going to get stuck again. That’s why it is called practice—we never arrive. So when you find yourself upset or angry, use the moment as a part of your practice, as an opportunity to notice and uproot the seeds of anger and move into the heart of genuine compassion.

And as stated by the Chinese Sutra of Forty-two Chapters,

For those with no anger,
how can anger arise?
When you practice deep looking and master yourself,
you dwell in peace, freedom, and safety.
The one who offends another
after being offended by him,
harms himself and harms the other.
When you feel hurt
but do not hurt the other,
you are truly victorious.
Your practice and your victory benefit both of you.
When you understand the roots of anger in yourself and in the other,
your mind will enjoy true peace, joy, and lightness.
You become the doctor who heals himself and heals the other.
If you don’t understand,
you will think not getting angry to be the act of a fool.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
  2. Don’t Let Hate Devour You
  3. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself
  4. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be
  5. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Buddhism, Emotions, Getting Along, Mindfulness, Relationships, Suffering, Wisdom

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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