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Do Self-Help Books Really Help?

April 5, 2016 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Do Self-Help Books Really Help?

Thousands of self-help titles are published every year with the promise of helping you lose weight, manage relationships, cope with stress, or solve personal problems. Almost all contain glowing testimonials by people whose lives have seemingly been transformed. However, taken as a whole, are self-help books merely empty assurances designed to sell a product?

Self-Help Books Bring Hope that Change is Possible

Even though self-help books have been accused of promoting the “false hope syndrome” and contain many exaggerated and untested claims, by exposing readers to a sizable dose of hope and promise, these books help readers cope with their problems and challenges, even if the books don’t necessarily make readers thin, rich, and ecstatically happy.

Self-help books can be classified as those that offer general-purpose advice (e.g. on personal growth or career success) and those that offer advice on specific, well-defined problems (e.g. transition into a management position, seeking and using advisers, managing a life transition such as pregnancy or divorce.) It is the second type of self-help books that are most effective, especially in combination with some counseling or mentoring. In fact, psychologists use the term “bibliotherapy” to identify therapy that involves reading specific texts with the purpose of healing.

A Matter of Discipline, Not Motivation

The helplessness of self-help books is not so much with the books themselves, but with the readers. Most people who buy dieting books don’t seem to lose weight. They feel no outcome whatsoever from reading the books and tend to dismiss the books as “not working.” Often, they don’t realize that losing weight and getting in shape comes not from buying and reading these books, but consuming the recommended food and practicing the weight-loss strategies and fitness regimens contained in these books.

Self-help books that offer a framework for thought and action can be effective only if readers can translate the motivation from the book to a discipline to take whatever action necessary to achieve what they desire. As I mentioned in my previous article comparing discipline and motivation, people who actually get things done are those who find a way to work at whatever they are interested in even when they do not really feel like doing it.

Idea for Impact: Self-help media (just like mentors, therapists, counselors) can motivate and teach specific skills that can produce real change, but only through discipline and regular practice.

Also, read my articles on why extrinsic motivation doesn’t work here and here.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What Are You So Afraid Of? // Summary of Susan Jeffers’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’
  2. The Problem with Self-Help
  3. What Your Messy Desk Says About You
  4. Learn from the Great Minds of the Past
  5. Thinking Straight in the Age of Overload // Book Summary of Daniel Levitin’s ‘The Organized Mind’

Filed Under: Leadership Reading, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Books, Discipline, Motivation

Inspirational Quotations #626

April 3, 2016 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you have health, you probably will be happy, and if you have health and happiness, you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
—Elbert Hubbard (American Writer)

One learns little more about a man from his feats of literary memory than from the feats of his alimentary canal.
—Frank Moore Colby (American Educator)

Leaders need to provide strategy and direction and to give employees tools that enable them to gather information and insight from around the world. Leaders shouldn’t try to make every decision.
—Bill Gates (American Businessperson)

Anger blows out the lamp of the mind. In the examination of a great and important question, everyone should be serene, slow-pulsed and calm.
—Robert G. Ingersoll (American Atheist Politician)

Pleasure is a reciprocal; no one feels it who does not at the same time give it. To be pleased, one must please.
—Earl of Chesterfield

Once our minds are ‘tattooed’ with negative thinking, our chances for long-term success diminish.
—John C. Maxwell (American Christian Professional Speaker)

Our minds are lazier than our bodies.
—Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The more refined one is, the more unhappy.
—Anton Chekhov (Russian Short Story Writer)

To do more for the world than the world does for you—that is success.
—Henry Ford (American Businessperson)

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of the circumstances.
—Aristotle (Ancient Greek Philosopher)

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
—Franklin D. Roosevelt (American Head of State)

Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
—David Starr Jordan (American Zoologist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

When Should a Leader Pass Blame?

April 1, 2016 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

A leader is the “captain of the ship.” He is responsible for his organization’s every outcome—good or bad. He is wholly accountable for everything that happens under his authority.

If there is a problem caused by his mistakes or errors within his organization, a leader should not shirk responsibility. He should not abandon his team if things go wrong, nor should he pass the blame or use an employee as a scapegoat.

However, a leader cannot see and touch all his people, especially if his organization is large. He cannot be personally responsible for a rogue employee who steals information, misuses funds, or engages in unethical behavior. In such circumstances, the leader may pass blame.

Although a leader cannot police every action taken by every employee, the leader should be held accountable for not instituting and overseeing a rigorous control system to prevent problems, deter unethical actions, and to identify employees that engage in such behavior.

A leader also sets the tone for all his employees—not only in terms of goals and priorities but also in terms of proper organizational behavior. A legendary case in point are the ethical rules that investor Warren Buffett set in his company after the 1991 bond-rigging scandal at Salomon Brothers: “I want employees to ask themselves whether they are willing to have any contemplated act appear the next day on the front page of their local paper, to be read by their spouses, children, and friends, with the reporting done by an informed and critical reporter. If they follow this test, they need not fear my other message to them: Lose money for the firm, and I will be understanding; lose a shred of reputation for the firm, and I will be ruthless.” Even now, Buffett includes this statement in his biannual letters to his managers and displays a video of this speech at every Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Power Inspires Hypocrisy
  2. The Poolguard Effect: A Little Power, A Big Ego!
  3. Power Corrupts, and Power Attracts the Corruptible
  4. Shrewd Leaders Sometimes Take Liberties with the Truth to Reach Righteous Goals
  5. Moral Self-Licensing: Do Good Deeds Make People Act Bad?

Filed Under: Leadership, Leading Teams Tagged With: Attitudes, Ethics, Integrity, Leadership

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!