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Right Attitudes

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Archives for January 2014

Inspirational Quotations #512

January 26, 2014 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to popular belief, is more powerful in the mature than the young.
—W. Somerset Maugham (French Playwright)

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.
—Robert Kiyosaki (American Businessperson)

I would rather be a beggar and spend my money like a king, than be a king and spend money like a beggar.
—Robert G. Ingersoll (American Atheist Politician)

The intellectual is constantly betrayed by his vanity. Godlike he blandly assumes that he can express everything in words; whereas the things one loves, lives, and dies for are not, in the last analysis completely expressible in words.
—Anne Morrow Lindbergh (American Author, Aviator)

A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth.
—Aesop (Greek Fabulist)

To feel much for others, and little for ourselves; to restrain our selfish, and exercise our benevolent affections, constitutes the perfection of human nature.
—George Goodman (American Economist)

In this world the one thing supremely worth having is the opportunity to do well and worthily a piece of work of vital consequence to the welfare of mankind.
—Theodore Roosevelt (American Head of State)

See dying vegetables life sustain,|See life dissolving vegetate again;|All forms that perish other forms supply;|By turns we catch the vital breath and die.
—Alexander Pope (English Poet)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

How to Cut Off a Boss Who Rambles

January 22, 2014 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Mail Bag Kathy asked, “Every time I ask my boss a question about a process, I get a lecture instead of a quick yes-or-no answer or specific instructions. Is it necessary to listen patiently and let her finish her lengthy sermon, or can I cut her short and tell her that a brief answer is all I need?”

My short answer: Live with it.

Interrupting and cutting short a boss in the middle of a conversation may be an impolite way of handling a harmless habit. Your boss may ramble on for a number of reasons—she may be uneasy, excited, or frustrated about the topic at hand. She may just be thinking aloud or stating some particulars about the subject matter. If she is uncertain about what she wants to say, she might blather about everything she can think of.

Here are some techniques that can help:

  • Try to meet your boss just before an appointment on her calendar, prior to lunch, or at the end of her day. This encourages her to stay within a set time limit—she’ll want to leave her desk or prepare for the next meeting.
  • Phrase your question or request in a way that suggests that you need only a brief answer. Open the conversation by saying, “I know you’re headed to Peter’s office, but may I have a minute of your time to talk about …”, “I’m up against a deadline but can’t proceed until our scheduled meeting. Can you please tell me quickly …,” or “I only have five minutes—can you explain how to ….”
  • If you must cut off a boss when she’s rambling, interrupt her only occasionally. Your boss’s rambling may simply be her attempt to clarify or reiterate some details. Politely say, “Would you please excuse me? I must get back to my desk for …” and state a verifiable reason. Next, if you have what you wanted from your boss, recap what you’ve heard from her by saying, “So, I will ….” Alternatively state, “I think this topic needs more time. What’s a good time to discuss this later today?”

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Never Give a Boring Presentation Again
  2. Avoid Control Talk
  3. What’s the Best Way to Reconnect with a Mentor?
  4. Gab May Not Be a Gift at All
  5. Ditch Sarcasm—Don’t Hide Hostility Behind Humor

Filed Under: Effective Communication Tagged With: Etiquette, Managing the Boss

Inspirational Quotations #511

January 19, 2014 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Happiness lies neither in vice nor in virtue; but in the manner we appreciate the one and the other, and the choice we make pursuant to our individual organization.
—Marquis de Sade (French Political leader)

Every human being who reaches the age of understanding of the purpose of money wishes for it. Wishing will not bring riches. But desiring riches with a state of mind that becomes an obsessions, then planning definite ways and means to acquire riches, and backing those plans with persistence which does not recognize failure, will bring riches.
—Napoleon Hill (American Author)

Measure not by the scale of perfection the meager product of reality.
—Friedrich Schiller (German Poet)

An oak and a reed were arguing about their strength. When a strong wind came up, the reed avoided being uprooted by bending and leaning with the gusts of wind. But the oak stood firm and was torn up by the roots.
—Aesop (Greek Fabulist)

A woman’s always younger than a man of equal years.
—Elizabeth Barrett Browning (English Poet)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Feed the Right Wolf: An American-Indian Parable on Cultivating the Right Attitudes

January 15, 2014 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

A traditional American Indian story features a young Cherokee boy who once became annoyed that another boy had done him some injustice. After returning home, the young boy expressed his frustration to his grandfather.

The old Cherokee chief said to his grandson, “I too, at times, have felt a great hatred for those who have taken so much with no sorrow for what they do.

“Hatred wears you down, and hatred does not hurt your enemy. Hatred is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these emotions many times.

“It’s as though a fight is continuously going on inside me. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

“One wolf is good and does no harm. He is filled with joy, humility, and kindness. He lives in harmony with everyone around and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so and in the right way.

“The other wolf is full of anger, envy, regret, greed, and self-pity. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone all the time and for no reason. When blinded by his anger and hatred, he does not have a sound mind. It is helpless anger, because his anger will change nothing.

“It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me. These two wolves are constantly fighting to control my spirit.

“Young man, the same fight is going on inside you and inside every other person on this earth.”

The grandson thought about it for a moment and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win inside you, grandpa?”

The old Cherokee chief smiled and replied, “The one I feed.”

Dear readers, which wolf inside are you feeding?

The Right attitudes beget the right attitudes.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Anger Is Often Pointless
  2. Who Told You That Everybody Was Going to Like You?
  3. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
  4. The Buddha Teaches: How to Empower Yourself in the Face of Criticism
  5. Heaven and Hell: A Zen Parable on Self-Awareness

Filed Under: Health and Well-being Tagged With: Anger, Emotions, Parables, Virtues

Inspirational Quotations #510

January 12, 2014 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Success in its highest and noblest form calls for peace of mind and enjoyment and happiness which come only to the man who has found the work that he likes best.
—Napoleon Hill (American Author)

The pride of dying rich raises the loudest laugh in hell.
—John W. Foster

Death is not the enemy; living in constant fear of it is.
—Norman Cousins (American Journalist)

By criticizing other people, we are increasing the behavior that we object to.
—Steve Chandler

If we discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them.
—Christopher Morley (American Journalist)

You have to believe in happiness or happiness never comes.
—Douglas Malloch

The only happiness a brave person ever troubles themselves in asking about, is happiness enough to get their work done.
—Thomas Carlyle (Scottish Writer)

Freedom of conscience entails more dangers than authority and despotism.
—Michel Foucault (French Philosopher)

The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment, to appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now.
—Thich Nhat Hanh (Vietnamese Buddhist Religious Leader)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

This Year, Be Selfish; Your Needs Belong to the Top

January 10, 2014 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Your needs belong to the top

You’ve worked hard for your employer.

You’ve worked hard for your family.

You’ve worked hard for your friends.

You’ve worked hard even for your community.

When was the last time you worked hard FOR YOURSELF?

When was the last time you put in long hours on the things that bring you joy? How hard have you worked lately on your hobbies, on your meaningful enjoyment, or on your well-being? When was the last time you rewarded yourself?

What in the world became of YOUR deep-seated need for happiness?

You will become what you will settle for

Given your long to-do list, it’s easy to skip or neglect your own personal needs. When others place demands on your time, your first resort is to cut out the things that are most important to you.

With the arrival of each New Year or on each birthday, it will seem that the finger on the clock of time turns inescapably.

Life will have moved on and you’ll have missed it. Your conscious experience of being will consist of fulfilling your obligations to others.

When you broaden your perspective, you will realize that your life is dull and boring: you are persistently preparing yourself for the challenges ahead and getting ready to seize what the future might hold for you.

There’s always been some barrier to nurturing yourself. There’s always some uncompleted business, some debt to be paid back, something to prepare for, something to be done for others, somebody to be taken care of before your life—YOUR REAL LIFE—would begin.

The years will slip away in the pursuit of an illusion—an illusion that, one day, your real life will begin. Along the way, you will reconcile; you will surrender to the pressures of life. You will surrender your ambitions for what will be possible. You will let circumstances define what you will become. You will settle for something significantly less than what you’ve desired for yourself. Eventually, you will become what you will settle for.

Think of ways you might nurture yourself

While it is virtuous to be selfless and attend to the needs of others, devoting too much time to others can become an impediment to your own happiness. Protect your own time and interests:

  • Listen to your true self and give yourself the care you need. Your experience of being must not consist of letting the little things get in the way of what you truly want out of life.
  • Examine if you yield instinctively to others’ demands or put others’ needs ahead of your own.
  • Consider constructing boundaries on your time. Do not become a victim of your own generosity.

Nurture yourself not only for yourself but also for the others whose lives you touch. Don’t think of self-care as an egocentric act—when you neglect yourself, become overwhelmed, or become melancholic, you can’t be a compassionate, engaged individual for your family, community, or workplace.

Think of ways you might nurture yourself. Don’t settle. Your needs belong to the top.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Stressed, Lonely, or Depressed? Could a Pet Help?
  2. Maximize Income, Not Savings
  3. What the Stoics Taught: Shunning the Materialistic Frenzy of Greed
  4. The Problem with Modern Consumer Culture
  5. 3 Ways to … Stay Calm Under Immense Pressure

Filed Under: Living the Good Life Tagged With: Balance

Inspirational Quotations #509

January 5, 2014 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Death carries off a man who is gathering flowers and whose mind is distracted, as a flood carries off a sleeping village.
—The Dhammapada (Buddhist Anthology of Verses)

Live your daily life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger, and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself.
—Thich Nhat Hanh (Vietnamese Buddhist Religious Leader)

I must accept life unconditionally. Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can only be felt if you don’t set any condition.
—Arthur Rubinstein (Polish-born American Composer)

Every minute of life carries with it its miraculous value, and its face of eternal youth.
—Albert Camus (Algerian-born French Philosopher)

Poverty, frost, famine, rain, disease, are the beadles and guardsmen that hold us to common sense.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Philosopher)

The human heart is like a ship on a stormy sea driven about by winds blowing from all four corners of heaven.
—Martin Luther (German Protestant Theologian)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Meditations: Marcus Aurelius

Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius's diaries remain the sterling paradigm of the stoic mindset: civility, moderation in all things, and taking in triumph and tragedy with equanimity.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!