Never Criticize Little, Trivial Faults

Lessons from the Renowned People Skills of Steel Tycoons Charles M Schwab and Andrew Carnegie

The American steel magnate Charles M Schwab (1862–1939,) was a protege of the steel baron-turned-philanthropist Andrew Carnegie (1835–1919.) During the course of a long and successful career, Schwab built his Bethlehem Steel Corporation into America’s second largest steel producer and one of the world’s most prominent businesses.

'Be hearty in approbation and lavish in your praise' - Lessons from the Renowned People Skills of Steel Tycoon Charles M Schwab

Don’t be “bothered with the finicky little things that trouble so many people.”

Charles M Schwab started his career as a laborer in Andrew Carnegie’s Edgar Thomson Steel Works. Thanks to his exceptional ability to cozy up to people and facilitate congenial working relationships, Schwab rapidly rose up the ranks of the Carnegie steel empire.

By the age of 19, Schwab was assistant manager of the steel factory. When an accident killed the factory superintendent in 1887, Andrew Carnegie appointed the 25-year-old Schwab as the manager of the Thomson Works. At 35, Schwab became president of the Carnegie Steel Company at an annual compensation exceeding $1 million (worth $30 million today.)

In an essay titled “My 20,000 Partners” in the 19-Dec-1916 issue of The American Magazine, Schwab shared a management lesson he learned from his mentor Andrew Carnegie:

Mr. Carnegie’s personality would enthuse anybody who worked for him. He had the broad views of a really big man. He was not bothered with the finicky little things that trouble so many people. When he made me manager, Mr. Carnegie said, “Now, boy, you will see a good many things which you mustn’t notice. Don’t blame your men for little, trivial faults. If you do you will dishearten them.

When I want to find fault with my men I say nothing when I go through their departments. If I were satisfied I would praise them. My silence hurts them more than anything else in the world, and it doesn’t give offense. It makes them think and work harder. Many men fail because they do not see the importance of being kind and courteous to the men under them. Kindness to everybody always pays for itself. And, besides, it is a pleasure to be kind. I have seen men lose important positions, or their reputations—which are more important than any position—by little careless discourtesies to men whom they did not think it was worthwhile to be kind to.

'Don't blame your men for little, trivial faults' - Lessons from the Renowned People Skills of Steel Tycoon Andrew Carnegie

“Be hearty in approbation and lavish in your praise”

Schwab’s excellent people skills and management methods are extolled in How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie‘s masterful guidebook on people skills. Dale Carnegie quotes Schwab:

I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people, the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.

There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors.I never criticize any-one. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.

I have yet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism.

Idea for Impact: People who cannot tolerate others’ shortcomings are at a marked disadvantage in life.

'How to Win Friends & Influence People' by Dale Carnegie (ISBN 0671027034) The older you’ll get, the more you’ll appreciate the wisdom of enduring the negative emotions— skepticism, disapproval, anger, contempt, and hostility—that stem from others’ behaviors.

One of the keys to effective interpersonal skills is to know when and how to give feedback. Commend whenever you can, criticize when you absolutely must.

Remember, criticism can swiftly erode away positive feelings. Don’t nit-pick. Don’t get caught up in trivial peculiarities.

How Starbucks Brewed Success / Book Summary of Founder Howard Schultz’s “Pour Your Heart Into It”

I recently finished reading Pour Your Heart Into It, the personal story of how Starbucks founder, Chairman, and ex-CEO Howard Schultz built a major consumer brand and a stellar business model anchored in passion and values. He proclaims, “Success should not be measured in dollars … It’s about how you conduct the journey, and how big your heart is at the end of it.”

An Iconic Leader Built a Coffee Empire with Unyielding Attention to Customer Experience

'Pour Your Heart Into It' by Howard Schultz (ISBN 0786883561) Howard Schultz’s Pour Your Heart Into It (1997) begins with his formative years as a poor German-Jewish boy in Brooklyn and ends with Starbucks’ post-IPO journey to becoming a well-respected and recognized global consumer brand.

In 2000, three years after Pour Your Heart Into It was published, Schultz assigned Jim Donald as CEO and became Starbucks’ meddling chairman. In 2008, following quarter-after-quarter of disappointing sales figures during the Great Recession and a “watering down of the Starbucks experience,” Schultz returned as CEO in 2008 and led the company to commendable growth and profitability. His turnaround memoir (my summary here,) Onward: How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul (2012,) discusses how he restored the essence of the Starbucks experience during his second stint as CEO.

Earlier this month, Schultz entrusted a deputy with CEO responsibility, but remains chairman. In the same way as in 2000, he hasn’t left the company and focuses on developing Starbucks’ premium Reserve Roastery and Tasting Room stores.

Starbucks Created an Industry through High-profile Cafés That Promise a Lifestyle Experience

'Onward: How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul' by Howard Schultz, Joanne Gordon (ISBN 1609613821) In fact, Schultz did not start ‘Starbucks.’ When working as a plastics salesperson in 1981, he happened into Starbucks—then, a chain of six high-quality coffee retail stores based in Seattle. He immediately fell in love with his experience at their Pike Place Market store. Schultz recalls, “A heady aroma of coffee reached out and drew me in. I stepped inside and saw what looked like a temple for the worship of coffee. It was my Mecca. I had arrived.”

In 1982, he joined Starbucks as head of marketing and retailing. On a business trip to Italy, he witnessed the allure of Milan’s café culture. He was specifically fascinated by the passionate connection that the Italians had not only with their coffee, but also with their coffee bars—an integral part of their country’s social life.

After returning to Seattle, he could not persuade the original Starbucks’ proprietors to open similar “coffee bar experiences.” Schultz then quit Starbucks and opened his own Il Giornale chain of coffee bars. Three years later, when Schultz was all of 34, Il Giornale purchased Starbucks and adopted its name.

Starbucks founder, Chairman, and CEO Howard Schultz

From Rags to Riches: Starbucks Became A “Company with a Conscience” While it Brewed Worldwide Success

The rags-to-riches account of Howard Schultz is one great American entrepreneur success story. Schultz grew up poor in Brooklyn’s subsidized housing projects. At age seven, Schultz was deeply upset when his father suffered after breaking an ankle. With no health insurance or other benefits, the senior Schultz (a blue-collar “beaten man”) worked very hard at dead-end jobs to atone for medical expenses and offset his lost pay. That incident left a profound impression on Howard. “As a kid I never had any idea that I would one day head a company. But I knew in my heart that if I was ever in a position where I could make a difference, I wouldn’t leave people behind,” he avows.

CEO Howard Schultz: From Rags to Riches Starbucks Brews Success Subsequently, Howard Schultz wanted to create an enterprise that treated staff with respect and nurtured them. He writes, “If you treat your employees as interchangeable cogs in a wheel, they will view you with the same affection.” Starbucks offered health benefits and stock options to all staff (called “partners”)—including part-timers—to demonstrate “that a company can lead with its heart and nurture its soul and still make money.”

The essence of Pour Your Heart Into It is that the Starbucks marvel is not only about economic growth and brand success, but also about its socially conscious corporate ethos: “We never set out to build a brand. Our goal was to build a great company, one that stood for something, one that valued the authenticity of its product and the passion of its people.”

A Well-respected Global Brand and A Grande-sized Ego

Schultz’s gracious and inspiring account in Pour Your Heart Into It, however, is speckled with lofty assertions and self-congratulatory superlatives. For instance, when recounting his epiphany of discovering the allure of Milan’s café culture, Schultz states, “it was so immediate and physical that I was shaking.” He labels a prospective joint venture with Pepsi an “earth-jolting paradigm shift.”

Schultz takes credit for turning coffee into a “national obsession” in North America and declares that his founding purpose was to give North Americans the opportunity to savor the “romance and mystery” of Italian espresso bars. When featured on the cover of Fortune magazine for an article titled “Howard Schultz’s Starbucks Grinds Coffee Into Gold,” Schultz writes that he felt “proud but, frankly, a little embarrassed at all the attention. It’s always been hard for me to celebrate success.”

Like I wrote in my summary for Onward, Schultz’s account of his 2008 return as CEO, his flamboyant tone is demonstrative of a fiercely passionate entrepreneur and a brilliant corporate cheerleader. Under his leadership, Starbucks has used its narrative of being a noble torchbearer of altruistic capitalism to brew global success. Schultz writes,

Starbucks was attempting to accomplish something more ambitious than just grow a profitable enterprise. We had a mission, to educate consumers everywhere about fine coffee. We had a vision, to create an atmosphere in our stores that drew people in and gave them a sense of wonder and romance in the midst of their harried lives. We had an idealistic dream, that our company could be far more than the paradigm defined by corporate America in the past.

CEO Howard Schultz and Starbucks's Race Together Campaign Over the last few years, Schultz has been increasingly politically active and has used the platform of his office at Starbucks to share views on matters that are peripheral to Starbucks’ business and operations. In 2015, for instance, Starbucks got into hot water after launching a bold “Race Together” campaign in the aftermath of the Ferguson racial unrests. With his characteristic flair, Schultz encouraged baristas to discuss race with customers at Starbucks stores “under the belief that it’s a critical first step toward confronting—and solving—race-related issues as a nation” according to this USA Today article. Alas, Schultz’s idea backfired and Starbucks called off the initiative.

More recently, after President Trump’s executive order excluding refugees from specific countries, Starbucks announced its intention to lead a global effort and hire 10,000 refugees globally by 2022. Trump supporters promptly boycotted Starbucks.

Schultz is speculated to be considering running for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination.

Lessons on Employee Engagement from Howard Schultz's 'Pour Your Heart Into It'

Recommendation: Read Howard Schultz’s “Pour Your Heart Into It”

Howard Schultz’s description of how Starbucks transformed an entrenched commodity into a value-laden brand and a differentiated experience makes Pour Your Heart Into It an absorbing story of entrepreneurial success. Schultz portrays himself as a passionate, dedicated, and visionary entrepreneur. But then again, he appears impulsive as a manager and brash as a capitalist—often in little doubt that his own preferences for the Starbucks experience will reflect of those of its customers.

The significant take away lessons from Pour Your Heart Into It are,

  • Develop a close relationship with your customers through the quality of your product and your customer service.
  • Continually reinvent your product and your business, even when you are experiencing success.
  • When you start a business, work hard to instill values and beliefs. Set the standards and build the culture.
  • Any consumer business is only as good as its customer-facing employees. When an organization’s employees sincerely believe in its product, service, and business, they will care about the customer, perform at higher levels, and eventually increase the company’s value of the organization.

Coffee snobs—especially Starbucksaholics—will love Schultz’s impassioned portrayal of “the romance of the coffee experience, the feeling of warmth and community people get in Starbucks stores. That tone is set by our baristas, who custom-make each espresso drink and explain the origins of different coffees.”

Inspirational Quotations by Anatole France (#680)

Inspirational Quotations by Anatole France Today marks the birthday of Anatole France (1844–1924,) one of France’s most popular novelists and winner of the 1921 Nobel Prize for Literature.

He was born Jacques Anatole Thibault but signed his works “Anatole France” as a tribute to his father’s bookstore in Paris. That bookstore, named Librairie de France, specialized in literature on the French Revolution. Many prominent French scholars frequented this bookstore and influenced Anatole’s ideas.

Though Anatole mostly wrote historical and social novels, he’s best remembered for the fantasy novel L’Ile des Pingouins (1908, Eng. trans. Penguin Island.) It features an imaginary penguin civilization where a blind and somewhat deaf abbot mistakenly baptizes the penguins who then transform into human beings. Penguin Island is a satire on society and human nature in which Anatole lampooned morality, traditions, and the origin of law and religion. His other prominent novels include Les dieux ont soif (1912, The Gods Are Athirst) and La Revolte des Anges (1914, The Revolt of Angels.)

Inspirational Quotations by Anatole France

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.
Anatole France

People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.
Anatole France

The books that everybody admires are those that nobody reads.
Anatole France

When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
Anatole France

It is well for the heart to be naive and for the mind not to be.
Anatole France

Our passions are ourselves.
Anatole France

It is not customary to love what one has.
Anatole France

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
Anatole France

That man is prudent who neither hopes nor fears anything from the uncertain events of the future.
Anatole France

Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another.
Anatole France

Nine tenths of education is encouragement.
Anatole France

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
Anatole France

It is in the ability to deceive oneself that the greatest talent is shown.
Anatole France

To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all.
Anatole France

The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.
Anatole France

It is by acts and not by ideas that people live.
Anatole France

I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom.
Anatole France

Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are those which people have lent me.
Anatole France

Keep Your Eyes on the Prize [Two-Minute Mentor #9]

Focus on What You Want to Achieve Many of humankind’s greatest feats are accomplished by people who have a singular desire that becomes the foundational element for everything they do.

The 13th-century Turkish poet-philosopher Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi, undoubtedly the most celebrated mystical poet in the Islamic world, purportedly advocated being absorbed in the task: “There is one thing that we all must do. If we do everything else but that one thing, we will be lost. And if we do nothing else but that one thing, we will have lived a glorious life.”

Don’t Have Too Many Irons in the Fire

  • Ask yourself this question: “What is my one thing—the singular objective that could make the most positive impact and meaningful shift—either on the present moment, or on my life as a whole?”
  • Just as the comical and wise Jiminy Cricket accompanies Pinocchio on his adventures serving as his official conscience, have a persistent voice persistently prompting you, “Are you doing your thing?”

Focus on What You Want to Achieve

The ability to prioritize, focus, and achieve is one of the most useful skills you can master. Learn to focus fully on the task at hand, and shut out everything else. As I mentioned in my world’s shortest course in time management, focus on things that you must do and avoid everything else.

It is truly amazing how much possibility, joy, and fulfillment you can add to your life when you shift your mindset to realizing and focusing on your one thing—in whatever timeframe you’re taking into consideration.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

Why Others’ Pride Annoys You

Hubristic Pride: Why Others' Pride Annoys You

The problem with pride is that it is tainted by a self-view of being better than others are.

Pride is an essential element of the human condition. Feeling good about yourself is indispensable for your emotional wellbeing.

However, pride can be the thin end of the wedge as regards your social behavior. A rigid self-affirmation can morph into an inflated opinion of the self and arrogance. This air of superiority causes a disrespectful attitude toward others. The British novelist, literary scholar, and poet C.S. Lewis (1898-1963) wrote, “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man.”

For this reason, philosophers throughout the ages have decried pride. Buddhism lists pride as one of the kleshas—detrimental mental states that can cloud the mind and result in “unwholesome” actions. Christianity considers pride as one of the seven deadly sins and declares that pride “doth go before the fall” (Proverbs 16:18.)

We’re easily annoyed by people who have an inflated view of their abilities and their wisdom.

Pride ... the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others--Quotation by C.S. Lewis Human tendency is such that, while you do not acknowledge pride in yourself, you are quick to recognize and condemn pride in others when they prickle you with their comments. In his famous work of Christian apologetics, Mere Christianity (1952,) C.S. Lewis attributes your annoyance towards others to your own pride:

There is one vice of which no man in the world is free; which everyone in the world loathes when he sees it in someone else’ and of which hardly any people … ever imagine that they are guilty themselves. I have heard people admit that they are bad tempered, or that they cannot keep their heads about girls or drink, or even that they are cowards. I do not think I have ever heard anyone who was not a Christian accuse himself of this vice. And at the same time I have very seldom met anyone, who was not a Christian, who showed the slightest mercy to it in others. There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others.

The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit … the more pride one had, the more one disliked pride in others. … In fact, if you want to find out how proud you are the easiest way is to ask yourself, “How much do I dislike it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of me, or shove their oar in, or patronise me, or show off?” The point is that each person’s pride is in competition with every one else’s pride. It is because I wanted to be the big noise at the party that I am so annoyed at someone else being the big noise.

Check the urge to pump up your superiority and develop the attitude of dignity through humility and gratitude.

The attitude that entails self-centeredness and superiority is called hubristic pride. It springs from fragile self-worth and manifests in less-desirable behaviors such as being disagreeable, pushy, vulnerable, and given to disgrace. You feel so badly about yourself that you compensate by feeling superior. You try to find others’ flaws as a way to obscure our own limitations.

Consequently, hubristic pride deprives you of humility. As an alternative to hubristic pride, philosophers advocate authentic pride. While hubristic pride depends on what happens outside yourself, authentic happiness is internal. Authentic pride causes you to feel good about yourself and become more confident and productive. It manifests in being agreeable, conscientious, and sociable towards others.

In effect, authentic pride comprises of dignity and modesty and gives you a sense of kinship—this mindfulness is the foundation of righteousness.

Idea for Impact: Discard hubristic pride and exercise authentic pride instead

Hubristic pride, it turns out, isn’t easy to recognize or restrain. Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790) who was renowned for his lifelong quest for self-improvement, wrote in his Autobiography (1791), “In reality there is perhaps not one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself…For even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.”

'Mere Christianity' by C. S. Lewis (ISBN 0061350214) Further in Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis suggests discarding hubristic pride:

Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call ‘humble’ nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.

If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realise that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.

One key to better people skills is to develop an humble, self-effacing, but assertive outlook towards others by way of authentic pride. Authentic pride is a detached and steady sense of self-worth that you can develop by validating, affirming, and valuing yourself as you are.

Authentic pride comes from recognizing that many of life’s achievements and possessions are ephemeral. As I’ve written previously, everything in life is pointless, irrelevant, and ultimately insignificant in the grand scheme of things. When you focus on feeling good through accumulation of achievements and possessions, you become hooked on external sources of gratification. In comparison, dignity and modesty can dwell inside you regardless of your successes and failures.

You don’t have to prove anything to anybody—not even to yourself. When you become conscious of this, you will keep your hubristic pride in check. Others will become less irritable.

Inspirational Quotations by Charles Baudelaire (#679)

Inspirational Quotations by Charles Baudelaire

Today marks the birthday of Charles Baudelaire (1821–67,) French poet, essayist, and critic.

Baudelaire had an unhappy life. He was born to a wealthy family in Paris and got expelled from military school. After he squandered much of his inheritance on clothes, sex, and drugs, his family seized the remainder and disbursed it in small allowances.

Baudelaire started writing essays, criticism, and translations to fund his indulgences. He wrote acclaimed translations of American author Edgar Allan Poe. Baudelaire lived in the worst neighborhoods of Paris and switched apartments frequently to escape creditors. He struggled with poor health throughout his life and died at 46. The posthumous publication of much of his writing allowed his mother to settle his many debts.

At 36, Baudelaire published his only collection of lyric poetry, Les Fleurs de Mal (1857, The Flowers of Evil,) considered one of the greatest collections of French poetry. The book’s adulation of free love, drunkenness, world-weariness, and despair has influenced generations of bohemian artists. Baudelaire gained instant celebrity as a poète maudit (cursed poet) when six of the 101 poems in Les Fleurs de Mal were censored out for their moral and sexual themes, which were then considered obscene and scandalous.

Inspirational Quotations by Charles Baudelaire

There are moments of existence when time and space are more profound, and the awareness of existence is immensely heightened.
Charles Baudelaire

Everything that is beautiful and noble is the product of reason and calculation.
Charles Baudelaire

Nothing can be done except little by little.
Charles Baudelaire

It is necessary to work, if not from inclination, at least from despair. Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing oneself.
Charles Baudelaire

There are as many kinds of beauty as there are habitual ways of seeking happiness.
Charles Baudelaire

Inspiration comes of working every day.
Charles Baudelaire

Time is an avid gambler who has no need to cheat to win every time.
Charles Baudelaire

Life is a hospital in which every patient is possessed by the desire of changing his bed. One would prefer to suffer near the fire, and another is certain he would get well if he were by the window.
Charles Baudelaire

Every man who does not accept the conditions of life sells his soul.
Charles Baudelaire

The habit of doing one’s duty drives away fear.
Charles Baudelaire

There Isn’t a Practical Reason for Believing What Isn’t True [Two-Minute Mentor #8]

When making decisions, relying entirely on intuitions, gut feelings, and anecdotal validations to justify your beliefs is not a sound rationale to trust your assessments, but to be suspicious of them. The British-American critic Christopher Hitchens (1949–2011) translated the Latin dictum “Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur” and famously said, “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

It’s not sensible to hold a belief unless you have good reason for doing so. Neither is it sensible to cling to a belief because you believe it is useful and not because you think it is true.

Rational Investigation of One's Beliefs and Judgments Until you can organize the relevant evidence and determine whether a belief is true or isn’t, you should suspend your judgment.

Promoting the importance of rational investigation of one’s beliefs and judgments, the venerated Hindu mystic Swami Vivekananda (1863–1902) once said, “Do not believe in a thing because you have read about it in a book. Do not believe in a thing because another man has said it was true. … Do not believe in words because they are hallowed by tradition. … Find out the truth for yourself. Reason it out. … That is realization.”

Only a charlatan trusts in his beliefs without evidence—if his beliefs tell him that something is true, that’s good reason enough for him to think that it’s true.

Idea for Impact: One’s intellectual integrity lies not in what one thinks but in how one validates what one thinks.

This Trick Can Relieve Your Anxiety: “What’s the worst that can happen?”

I’ve previously written about how a great many of life’s anticipated misfortunes, adversities, trials and tribulations will never come to pass. Much of your worrying is ultimately fruitless and anger is often pointless.

Today, I shall discuss a technique you can use to let go of anxiety.

Bertrand Russell: Nothing that happens to oneself has any cosmic importance

The Remedial Benefits of Deliberating, “What’s the Worst That Could Happen?”

When you face anxiety, nervousness, fear, or worry, try the following technique: imagine all possible negative consequences of the situation you are confronting. Then, conceive of the worst outcome, even if there’s little chance events will turn out that way—imagine everything that could go wrong, in the worst possible way. Envision the worst outcomes.

When you exaggerate your fears and imagine the worst thing that could happen, you make your impending fears look unreasonable. You will realize that even the worst possible scenario isn’t so terrible after all. Often, this deliberation—and your sense of humor—usually restores your perspective on the anxiety you’re facing. You’ll realize that, at the worst, nothing that could happen to you is ultimately that significant.

'The Conquest of Happiness' by Bertrand Russell (ISBN 0871401622) Bertrand Russell, one of the west’s great intellectuals, was an advocate of this ploy. In The Conquest of Happiness, this extraordinary mathematician and brilliant philosopher asserts that happiness is in no way a passive endeavor, but a condition that takes a lot of work. Discussing how to avoid worry through the cultivation of right attitudes, Russell wrote,

A process … can be adopted with regard to anxieties. When some misfortune threatens, consider seriously and deliberately what is the very worst that could possibly happen. Having looked this possible misfortune in the face, give yourself sound reasons for thinking that after all it would be no such very terrible disaster. Such reasons always exist, since at the worst nothing that happens to oneself has any cosmic importance. When you have looked for some time steadily at the worst possibility and have said to yourself with real conviction, “Well, after all, that would not matter so very much,” you will find that your worry diminishes to a quite extraordinary extent. It may be necessary to repeat the process a few times, but in the end, if you have shirked nothing in facing the worse possible issue, you will find that your worry disappears altogether and is replaced by a kind of exhilaration.

To Get Rid of Anxiety, You Must First Embrace it

This Trick Can Relieve Your Anxiety: What's the Worst That Could Happen Russell’s method of overcoming anxiety and worry hints at the Stoic practice of “premeditatio malorum”—contemplating potential misfortunes in advance and reinstating emotional calm through positive affirmations. This classic technique of the Hellenistic world in due course laid the foundation for exposure therapy where anxiety is treated via exposure to stressful events either in vitro (in the laboratory of the mind) or in vivo (in real life.) Russell provides this explanation of exposure therapy:

Worry is a form of fear, and all forms of fear produce fatigue. A man who has learned not to feel fear will find the fatigue of daily life enormously diminished. … The proper course with every kind of fear is to think about it rationally and calmly, but with great concentration, until it has been completely familiar.

Idea for Impact: When confronting your fears, denial is never a wise strategy, positive action is!

The Roman lyric poet Horace advocated, “remember to keep a calm and balanced mind in the face of adversity” (loosely translated from the Latin “aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem” in Odes, II, 3.)

When faced with potential adversity or anticipated worry, try imagining the worst thing that could happen. This strategy for approaching your worries can help you to maintain an assertive, self-determining attitude even in the presence of very real and serious fears and threats.

Inspirational Quotations #678

Charity is a virtue of the heart, and not of the hands.
Joseph Addison

A word to the wise is enough, and many words won’t fill a bushel.
Benjamin Franklin

When a man tells you that he knows the exact truth about anything you are safe in inferring that he is an inexact man.
Bertrand A. Russell

If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Common Proverb

Listen, sir, to my words, and give ear to my utterances. Keep from strifes with thy neighbor, and if thou seest that thy friend does anything wrong, guard thy tongue from gossip.
The Talmud

Opportunity is lost by deliberation.
Publilius Syrus

In for a penny, in for a pound.
Common Proverb

It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.
Albert Einstein

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain

There is perhaps nothing so bad and so dangerous in life as fear.
Jawaharlal Nehru

Experience is a great advantage. The problem is that when you get the experience, you’re too damned old to do anything about it.
Jimmy Connors

School can give a false sense of confidence or of loserhood. Too often, school success does not predict life success.
Marty Nemko

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
George Santayana

Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won’t come in.
Alan Alda

Heaven and Hell: A Zen Parable on Self-Awareness


Your Mind Renders the Outer Condition into Inner Pain and Suffering—or Joy and Happiness

The state of your mind plays a vital role in shaping your everyday experiences of joy and happiness, and your general physical and mental well-being.

If you can maintain a peaceful and tranquil state of mind, the external conditions can cause you only limited disturbance. However, if your mental state is tense, restless, and agitated, you’ll find it difficult to be at peace even in the best of circumstances—even if you’re surrounded by the best of your friends and family.

When you truly become aware of how much damage negative emotions can cause—for yourself and for others—you will not indulge them even a bit.

The following Zen ‘koan’ parable (see source in postscript) validates the potential dangers that can occur when you fall prey to your negative emotions.

When you become aware of how much damage negative emotions can cause, you will not indulge them even a bit.

Heaven and Hell: A Zen Parable

A tough, brawny samurai once approached a Zen master who was deep in meditation.

Impatient and discourteous, the samurai demanded in his husky voice so accustomed to forceful yelling, “Tell me the nature of heaven and hell.”

The Zen master opened his eyes, looked the samurai in the face, and replied with a certain scorn, “Why should I answer to a shabby, disgusting, despondent slob like you? A worm like you, do you think I should tell you anything? I can’t stand you. Get out of my sight. I have no time for silly questions.”

The samurai could not bear these insults. Consumed by rage, he drew his sword and raised it to sever the master’s head at once.

Looking straight into the samurai’s eyes, the Zen master tenderly declared, “That’s hell.”

The samurai froze. He immediately understood that anger had him in its grip. His mind had just created his own hell—one filled with resentment, hatred, self-defense, and fury. He realized that he was so deep in his torment that he was ready to kill somebody.

The samurai’s eyes filled with tears. Setting his sword aside, he put his palms together and obsequiously bowed in gratitude for this insight.

The Zen master gently acknowledged with a delicate smile, “And that’s heaven.”

Self-Awareness & Self-Regulation: The Bases of Emotional Intelligence

'Emotional Intelligence' by Daniel Goleman (ISBN 055380491X) Retelling this Zen parable in his influential bestseller, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, the Harvard psychologist Daniel Goleman comments, “The sudden awakening of the samurai to his own agitated state illustrates the crucial difference between being caught up in a feeling and becoming aware that you are being swept away by it. Socrates’s injunction ‘Know thyself’ speaks to the keystone of emotional intelligence: awareness of one’s own feelings as they occur.”

In Emotional Intelligence (1995) and in his legendary Harvard Business Review article What Makes a Leader (1998), Goleman further argues that self-awareness and self-regulation are essential elements of emotional intelligence. In What Makes a Leader, he writes, “Self-awareness means having a deep understanding of one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, needs and drives. … People who have a high degree of self-awareness recognize how their feelings hurt them, other people, and their job performance.”

With reference to self-regulation, “Biological impulses drive our emotions. We cannot do away with them—but we can do much to manage them. Self-regulation, which is like an ongoing inner conversation, is the component of emotional intelligence that frees us from being prisoners of own feelings. People [with high self-regulation] feel bad moods and emotional impulses just as everyone else does, but they find ways to control them and even to channel them in useful ways.”

The Stoic Philosophers Advocated an Equanimous Outlook to Life

Equanimity is an essential state of mind that you must maintain when interacting with people who rub you the wrong way or push your buttons.

Equanimity (apatheia in Greek and aequanimitas in Latin) was one of the ideals of Stoic philosophy, the third great philosophy of the Ancient World. The ex-slave and leading Stoic philosopher Epictetus teaches, “Man is troubled not by events, but by the meaning he gives them.”

Marcus Aurelius, who finally carried Stoic philosophy into the emperor’s seat, writes in Meditations, “When force of circumstance upsets your equanimity, lose no time in recovering your self-control, and do not remain out of tune longer than you can help. Habitual recurrence to the harmony will increase your mastery of it.”

Equanimity is an Essential Buddhist Virtue

In Buddhism, equanimity (upekṣā in Sanskrit and upekkha in Pali) denotes a mind that is at peace notwithstanding stressful and unpleasant experiences. In The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching, the Vietnamese-French Zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh defines upekṣā as “equanimity, nonattachment, nondiscrimination, even-mindedness, or letting go. Upa means ‘over,’ and iksh means ‘to look.’ You climb the mountain to be able to look over the whole situation, not bound by one side or the other.”

In Dhamma Reflections, the American Buddhist monk Bhikkhu Bodhi describes equanimity as “evenness of mind, unshakeable freedom of mind, a state of inner equipoise that cannot be upset by gain and loss, honor and dishonor, praise and blame, pleasure and pain. Upekkha is freedom from all points of self-reference; it is indifference only to the demands of the ego-self with its craving for pleasure and position, not to the well-being of one’s fellow human beings.”

'Comfortable With Uncertainty' by Pema Chodron (ISBN 1590306260) In Comfortable With Uncertainty, an excellent discourse on overcoming the many challenges that life presents us, the renowned Buddhist nun Pema Chodron discusses the above Zen parable and comments,

The view of the warrior-bodhisattva is not “Hell is bad and heaven is good” or “Get rid of hell and just seek heaven.” Instead, we encourage ourselves to developing an open heart and an open mind to heaven, to hell, to everything. Only with this kind of equanimity can we realize that no matter what comes along, we’re always standing in the middle of open space. Only with equanimity can we see that everything that comes into our circle has come to teach us what we need to know.

Equanimous Outlook to Life Through Mind Training

Transcending Turmoil through Mind Training

If life is what you make of it, you can shape your attitudes and behavior by possessing a calm and stable mind.

Centuries of eastern contemplative practices have posited that regular physical yoga exercises and mindfulness meditation can train your mind to regulate your emotional states and bring about positive effects on your physical health and psychological well-being. In the last two decades, thanks to the Dalai Lama’s collaboration with the scientific community through programs such as the Mind and Life Institute, a growing number of scholars in the biological and cognitive sciences are convinced that such contemplative practices are a substantially beneficial introspective laboratory into the effects of negative emotions on overall wellbeing.

Given that your mind is the cause of all emotional upheaval, you can attain an enlightened state of mind by transcending turmoil. Practice of yoga and meditation can help you develop a compassionate assessment of the feelings of pain and suffering, and pleasure and happiness that dominate your existence.

In several well-known books and lectures (such as the Habits of Happiness TED Talk,) the French biologist-turned-Buddhist-monk Matthieu Ricard has popularized the practice of mindfulness meditation as the key to mind training. In Motionless Journey, his awe-inspiring photographic journal of his retreat in the Himalayas, Ricard writes,

A [practitioner] begins by understanding that true happiness does not fundamentally depend on changing external conditions, but rather on changing his own mind and the way it translates the circumstances of existence into happiness or frustration. He sees that as long as he is still not rid of hatred, obsession, pride, jealousy and the other mental poisons, it is as hopeless to expect happiness as it would be to hold his hand in a fire and hope not to be burnt.

Postscript / Source: The Zen Koan “The Gates of Paradise”

Japanese-American Buddhist teacher Gyomay M. Kubose‘s Zen Koans (1973) includes a faithful translation of the parable from Shasekishū (trans. Sand and Pebbles,) an anthology of koans by the thirteenth century Japanese Zen monk Mujū DŌkyŌ:

Nobushige, a soldier, came to Hakuin, a famous Zen Master, and asked, “Is there really a paradise and a hell?”

“Who are you?” inquired Hakuin.

“I am a samurai,” Nobushige replied.

“You, a samurai!” exclaimed Hakuin. “What kind of lord would have you as his guard? You look like a beggar!”

Nobushige became so enraged that he began to draw his sword.

Hakuin continued, “So you have a sword. It is probably too dull to even cut off my head.”

Nobushige brandished his weapon.

Hakuin remarked, “Here, open the gates of hell.”

At these words the perceptive samurai sheathed his sword and bowed.

“Here, open the gates of paradise,” said Hakuin.