Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Search Results for: people skills

How to Hire People Who Are Smarter Than You Are

By Leave a Comment

Apple’s Steve Jobs frequently pointed to the risk of a “bozo explosion,” which is what happens within a company that makes the mistake of hiring B-grade managers early on. As the company expands, these bozos—Jobs’s label for well-meaning, but less-competent managers—tend to emerge through the ranks and run important divisions of the company.

When bozos hire other people, they prefer to hire bozos. As entrepreneur (and bonafide Steve Jobs’s coattail-rider) Guy Kawasaki explains, “B players hire C players so they can feel superior to them, and C players hire D players.” Lo and behold, entire divisions are soon swarming with hordes of bozos.

How to Prevent a Bozo Explosion

How to Prevent a Bozo Explosion

The heuristic “hire people smarter than you” is obvious enough, but, every so often, smart people can be a terrible fit within your team.

In this Startup School 2013 interview with venture capitalist Paul Graham, Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg offers a better heuristic to hiring and keeping smart people who aren’t jerks and can get things done:

What’s the right heuristic for determining if someone is really good? Over time, what I figured out was that the only actual way to let someone analyze whether someone was really good was if they would work for that person. I don’t think that needs to recurse too many levels down in the organization but I basically think that’s a really good heuristic. I believe that. If you look at my management team today if we were in an alternate universe and I hadn’t started the company it would be an honor to work for any of these people. I think if you build a company that has those kind of values, rather than just saying ‘oh I want to hire the best person I can find’ or whatever, if you hold yourself to that standard then I think you’ll build a pretty strong company.

Idea for Impact: Mediocre managers often feel threatened by employees who seem more intelligent than they are, and could potentially pinch their jobs. In contrast, a wise manager knows that she reveals well on her own ability to discover and nurture talent.

  • As with advertising tycoon David Ogilvy’s Russian nesting dolls metaphor for building “a company of giants,” insist that managers hire folks who are better than themselves. For example, a product manager should hire a designer who is better at design than the manager is, not worse.
  • Insist that each interviewer ask themselves of job candidates, “Would I want to work for this person?”
  • Remember, the best don’t come cheap.

Here’s How to Improve Your Conversational Skills

By Leave a Comment

A year and a half ago, I wrote a popular article titled, “Stop asking, ‘What do you do for a living?'” The crux of my argument was,

Chatting with somebody in socializing situations should be less about discerning the details of the other’s life to size up the other’s socioeconomic status, and more about building a bit of familiarity to initiate stimulating conversations about topics of mutual interest.

A recent Harvard Business Review blog article on networking argues that the ‘what do you do?’ question may not be the best way to build rapport with someone else.

Research findings from the world of network science and psychology suggests that we tend to prefer and seek out relationships where there is more than one context for connecting with the other person. Sociologists refer to these as multiplex ties, connections where there is an overlap of roles or affiliations from a different social context. … We may prefer relationships with multiplex ties because research suggests that relationships built on multiplex ties tend to be richer, more trusting, and longer lasting.

The article gives examples of open-ended questions that could elicit non-work-related answers.

  • What excites you right now?
  • What are you looking forward to?
  • What’s the best thing that happened to you this year?
  • Where did you grow up?
  • What do you do for fun?
  • Who is your favorite superhero?
  • Is there a charitable cause you support?
  • What’s the most important thing I should know about you?

These inquiries could be helpful once you have a conversation going—they don’t make good initial questions. I’ve found it helpful to start with simple questions (“how do you know the hosts” or “is this your first time in this city”) and wait for personal details to flow into the conversation naturally.

Another practice I’ve found helpful is to ask to be introduced. Request your host to mention common interests when you are introduced to a new person in the gathering.

Susan RoAne’s How to Work a Room and Do I Say Next? provide great guidelines on how to make your business and personal conversations more effective.

Surround Yourself with Smarter People

By Leave a Comment

The American economist and Nobel Laureate Robert Shiller (b.1946) once said, “Your own thoughts are not really your own thoughts. Everything you think is a product of the people you meet and the experiences you’ve had.”

Associate with men and women who are smarter than you are—they should not only possess both superior intellectual and emotional intelligence, but also share your drive to succeed.

Remember, the most effective teams are those that have people with complementary skills, and similar work ethic.

20 Reasons People Don’t Change

By Leave a Comment

If you have trouble getting people to change, perhaps one—or more—of the following reasons are to blame:

  1. They don’t want to change … they find reassurance in the status quo
  2. Their environment is holding them back
  3. They’ve tried to change in the past, failed, and have given up
  4. Your coaching / feedback is garbled … the benefits of change are unclear
  5. They don’t react well to criticism
  6. They’re suspicious of your motives (i.e. fear of manipulation)
  7. They see little incentive to change
  8. They don’t know how to change
  9. They have no role models
  10. There’s no support (or resources) for change
  11. Change threatens their self-image
  12. They can’t tell what’s really important
  13. They don’t feel courageous enough … i.e. they fear failure
  14. They don’t feel enough pain yet
  15. They’re overconfident or arrogant
  16. They fear their weaknesses will be exposed
  17. They’re too lazy and undisciplined
  18. Change requires giving up something they presently value
  19. They resist change that’s imposed from outside … i.e. they’re not intrinsically motivated for change
  20. Change undermines their self-confidence

Idea for Impact: Temper your expectations of others. Old habits die hard. Even Einstein’s doctor couldn’t get the great physicist to quit smoking despite his deteriorating health.

Be realistic about changing others’ hearts and minds. If you can learn to accept them for who they are and let go of your conceptions of their perfection, your relationships become more richer.

Stop Trying to Change People Who Don’t Want to Change

By Leave a Comment

Change is seldom as easy as we think it will be

Consider how many people engage in smoking, obesity, problem drinking, procrastination, rage, and other self-defeating behavioral patterns. Despite being fully aware of the negative consequences of their behaviors, these people tend not to change.

Many people are unsuccessful when they try to change their own behavior. People are creatures of habit, and habits evolve over time. They become so deep-seated and instinctive that people are often oblivious to the behaviors and consequences that their habits drive.

It is therefore very hard to change old habits even when they’re bad. Consequently, people find themselves incapable or reluctant to make essential changes in their lives. They discover that habits are persistent and necessitate many consistent repetitions to change. Even when they are motivated enough to change, long-lasting change entails much commitment, consistency, and discipline.

When do people change?

The American self-help author Tony Robbins once wrote, “Most people are unhappy with some area of their life, but are not unhappy enough to actually do something about it. Unfortunately, 90% of people fall is this category.”

People typically don’t change because someone tells them that they need to. Many people change from their own accord as the result of physiological vicissitudes in their lives or from psychological impositions of external circumstances: transition to adolescence, retirement, becoming a parent, a job loss, or the death of a spouse, for example. Nevertheless, very few people change from within—deliberately, willingly, and on-purpose.

People don’t change until they think they need to

The Italian astronomer and philosopher Galileo Galilei once said, “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself.” Helping people change involves helping them want to change, instead of trying to persuade them through guidance, counsel, urging, social pressure, or other forms of inducement.

Therapists (and mentors, coaches, and managers) are most successful in bringing about long-lasting change only in people who are intrinsically motivated to make the change. Therapists have little success with people who have no interest in changing.

Effective therapists explore, understand, and tweak their clients’intrinsic motivations toward change. They understand their client’s motivations, listen to any reluctance about change, and sensitively try to fortify those elements of their clients’ intrinsic motivations that may favor and hence facilitate the intended change.

Idea for Impact: When people do not want to change, don’t try to change them

As children, spouses, parents, friends, managers, and colleagues we are continuously attempting to point out others’ errors and expecting them to change. Even when our concerns are genuine and our attempts to change others are sincere, we often fail to bring about real behavioral change because people don’t change until they think they need to. So, don’t try to change people when they do not want to change.

They may change in a short time, but unless there is a compelling reason or a significant emotional event that astonishes them to change, people go back to their natural state.

Harboring expectations of being able to change can only lead to frustration and futility. Therefore, as the Buddha taught, lower your expectations of people, appreciate people as they are, and thus raise your own joys. Alternatively, find the people who have the behaviors you want and teach them the skills they need to be productive.

People Cannot be Perfect

By Leave a Comment

“Each person is an idiom… an apparent violation of the syntax of the species.”
—Gordon Allport, American Psychologist, in Becoming

“People Are Like Apples”

Some of the best advice I’ve ever received relates to managing people. Many years ago, as I was getting ready to hire my first employee, I prepared a long list of ideal competencies. My manager laughed at my list and remarked that I was looking for a perfect candidate, one that I wouldn’t be able to find. He told me a metaphor about how “people are like apples” and encouraged me to look for a good-enough employee instead.

When you buy apples in a market, don’t look for spotless apples, but rather for good-enough apples. Spotless “choice” apples are not only difficult to find, but may cost more. Instead, look for apples that are good enough and may have one or two bad spots. When you get an apple with a spot on it, you can either remove the spot with a knife (almost always, the spot is not very deep) or simply eat around the bad spot, thus enjoying the rest of the “near perfect” apple.

Employees, bosses, colleagues, friends, relatives, parents, kids, spouses, and all people are like apples. Use a metaphorical knife to work around their imperfections, flaws, weaknesses, and idiosyncrasies.

“Root for their better angels”

Last year, the ever-brilliant Ben Casnocha wrote a fascinating essay reflecting upon his “10,000 Hours with Reid Hoffman,” the founder of LinkedIn and a Silicon Valley investor. As Hoffman’s chief of staff, Casnocha worked on various strategic aspects of Hoffman’s professional and personal initiatives. He also co-authored two books, Start-up of You (on career management) and The Alliance (on talent management).

Casnocha’s “What I Learned” essay is full of helpful management and leadership insights. Here’s one on people-skills:

One of Reid’s underrated gifts … is that he maintains very complicated portraits of the people he knows. He appreciates the full spectrum of strengths and weaknesses of a particular person. He’ll comment on a friend’s character flaw—say, self-centeredness—but in the next breath note one of their unique strengths. Flaws that cause others to completely disengage are, for Reid, “navigable” (to use a Reid-ism) en route to their better side. … If you make a mistake (or three) or if a weakness of yours gets exposed—you’re not dead to him. It’s just another data point in a rich tapestry in a long-term relationship.

Idea for Impact: Work around Others’ Faults

A Chinese Proverb reminds, “Gold cannot be pure, and people cannot be perfect.” People differ greatly in their capacities: some are stronger than others, some are better looking, some are better at science, some draw and paint better, and some are better athletes. Some make decisions through logic; others rely on intuition. Intelligent people are sometimes not physically very agile and are frequently socially awkward. Great artists sometimes cannot do enough math even to balance their checkbooks. Most people are smart in their specific spheres of competence, but are clueless in many other areas of human endeavor.

When working with people, work around their idiosyncrasies. Overlook and compensate for their imperfections, or coach them and help them work on their weaknesses. Being skilled at working with people in all aspects of life involves being able to fortify their strengths and making their weaknesses irrelevant.

Looking for Important Skills to Develop?

By Leave a Comment

Whether you need to take on a new challenge, prepare yourself to become promotable, or enhance your performance at work, undertaking learning and development can help. You must continually be on the lookout for new talents to add to the vast fund of knowledge you’ve accumulated over the years and add to the reservoir of experiences from which to draw.

Some skills are critical to your success throughout your career and life. Chris Anderson recently suggested a set of vital topics that must be taught in school. Anderson is the founder and curator of the Ideas-Worth-Spreading TED conferences.

TED’s Chris Anderson propunds a “Syllabus of the Future”

  • How to nurture your curiosity.
  • How to Google intelligently and skeptically.
  • How to manage your money.
  • How to manage your time.
  • How to present your ideas.
  • How to make a compelling online video.
  • The secret life of a girl.
  • The secret life of a boy.
  • How to build a healthy relationship.
  • How to listen.
  • How to calm an argument.
  • Who do you want to be?
  • How to train your brain to be what you want to be.
  • 100 role models for the career you hadn’t thought of.
  • How to think like a scientist.
  • Why history matters.
  • Books that changed the world.
  • Why personal discipline is key to future success.
  • How your reflective self can manage your instinctual self.
  • How to defend the rights of people you care about.
  • 10 hours with a kid on the other side of the world.
  • The keys to a healthy diet.
  • Why exercise matters.
  • How generosity creates happiness.
  • How immersion in nature eases stress.
  • What are the questions no one knows the answer to?

Use his “Syllabus of the Future” list to evaluate your needs in development and educate yourself in a few selected topics. Design a development plan involving regular discussions, reading articles and books, watching instructional videos, attending courses offered by a professional association, and observing and apprenticing with a mentor proficient in the skill you seek.

Respect People for Who They Are

By 1 Comment

“Respect People for Who They Are, Not for What Their Titles are”

In “The Best Advice I Ever Got” article in Fortune magazine, Herb Kelleher, founder and recently-retired Chairman of Southwest Airlines, discussed the importance of respecting and trusting people.

“One piece of [my mother’s] advice that always stuck in my mind is that people should be respected and trusted as people, not because of their position or title. Frequently, position or title did not reflect the true merits of a person.”

“Thanks to her advice, in the business world I try not to judge anyone by superficial standards. I try to approach them with an open mind. I’m very interested in their ideas. … You ought to be open to listening to people. Show that you care about them as individuals, not just as workers. You know how some people are always looking over your shoulder to see if there’s somebody more important behind you? Well, one of the things that I’ve tried to do–if I’m talking to a person, that person is the only person in the world while we’re talking. They’re owed that.”

[Note: Image of Herb Kelleher with mechanics courtesy of Southwest Airlines]

Call for Action

Our personal and professional lives are not solo acts. Every endeavour includes an active involvement and support of the people in our lives: parents, spouses, children, friends, bosses, employees and peers. Respect and trust are the foundation of connecting with people and building relationships. As managers and leaders, respect for people is fundamental to engaging them and getting things done. Yet, we live in a world obsessed with judging the significance of individuals based on the superficialities of appearance and social order.

  • Have an open mind. Accept people for who they are and respect their individuality.
  • Develop your listening skills. When listening to another person, think that he or she is the only person in the world.
  • Be compassionate and kind. Never treat people as a means to an end.

Interviewing Skills #4: Avoid too many ‘I-I-I’ or ‘We-We-We’ answers

By 1 Comment

A job candidate that I once interviewed claimed credit for a new customer-service strategy across her company. Following the interview, in speaking with her references, I discovered that the candidate was responsible just for implementation of a corporate-wide initiative only in her particular facility. She had done this job exceedingly well; however, the initiative was not her idea, nor was the new IT-system installed to support this initiative, as she had claimed. Further, her work was restricted to her location only. Clearly, the candidate had overstated her achievements. She had likely used too many ‘I-I-I’ answers.

One of the persistent problems with the job interview process is that candidates tend to exaggerate their achievements in their résumés and in interview discussions. Interviewing is, therefore, one of the toughest managerial-tasks: in the 30-or-45 minutes of a face-to-face interview or a telephone interview, it is very difficult to identify specifics of a candidate’s achievements and place them in a border context. A job candidate can easily distinguish himself or herself by helping the interviewer with this challenge.

Avoid Too Many ‘I-I-I’ Answers

In the modern organisation, a lot of work, and consequently, success, is a function of circumstances—of opportunities available and teamwork. Success is often about being in the right place, at a right time, with the right people and doing what is right.

When interviewing, distinguish yourself by clearly demonstrating an understanding of the role of respective contexts in your projects and their successes. Justify your achievements while acknowledging others’ contributions. Use constructs such as “the marketing manager had this great idea. I teamed-up with him, conceptualised the idea and executed the new initiatives in my engineering organisation.”

Too many ‘We-We-We’ Answers are Bad Too

On the other hand, interviewers from specific backgrounds tend to use too many we-answers. Cultural upbringing may encourage these candidates to display humility, be modest in discussing achievements and consequently avoid I-answers where possible.

I can think about numerous instances when I have requested interviewees to stop using we-answers and describe achievements specifically in terms of what the candidate did–by using the I-answers.

Balance is Key

Acknowledging the circumstances and clarifying context of successes helps interviewers develop a broader perspective of your achievements and understand your credentials easily. By carefully balancing the I-answers with we-answers, you can

  • demonstrate humility and respect for the contributions of team members
  • establish the bounds of your contributions and claim credit you deserve for your achievements.

The Foundation of Great Relationships: Get to Know People

By 2 Comments

An Act of Astonishing Leadership

In a sermon on the meaning of work, Nancy Ortberg of the Menlo Park Presbyterian Church, recalled an astonishing leadership act from when she worked as an emergency room nurse earlier in her career.

“It was about 10:30 p.m. The room was a mess. I was finishing up some work on the chart before going home. The doctor with whom I loved working was debriefing a new doctor, who had done a very respectable, competent job, telling him what he’d done well and what he could have done differently.”

“Then he put his hand on the young doctor’s shoulder and said, ‘When you finished, did you notice the young man from housekeeping who came in to clean the room?’ There was a completely blank look on the young doctor’s face.”

“The older doctor said, ‘His name is Carlos. He’s been here for three years. He does a fabulous job. When he comes in he gets the room turned around so fast that you and I can get our next patients in quickly. His wife’s name is Maria. They have four children.’ Then he named each of the four children and gave each child’s age.”

“The older doctor went on to say, ‘He lives in a rented house about three blocks from here, in Santa Ana. They’ve been up from Mexico for about five years. His name is Carlos,’ he repeated. Then he said, ‘Next week I would like you to tell me something about Carlos that I don’t already know. Okay? Now, let’s go check on the rest of the patients.'”

“I remember standing there writing my nursing notes–stunned–and thinking, I have just witnessed breathtaking leadership.”

Call for Action: Get to Know People

Getting to know and caring for people is the foundation of great relationships, both in our personal and professional lives. We know little about the people we interact with on a daily basis—often, we know nothing beyond their first and last names, and their functional responsibilities.

Here are seven fundamental steps to help know people.

  • Most people are enthusiastic about sharing their stories—of where they grew up, their life-experiences, travels, hobbies, interests, or children. Depending on the level of acquaintance, gauge whether a specific person would be comfortable with talking about himself/herself.
  • Consider asking open-ended questions. Initial questions can focus on a favourite sport, travel or school/career history.
  • A person’s desk may provide clues for conversation starters. Some people have pictures of kids, pets or their hometown. Others have memorabilia from a sports team they support or their school. Some others have plaques from the awards and recognitions they won. People are keen to talk about these interests—they are great topics to start conversations on.
  • Listen carefully. Make a mental note of the details the person provides.
  • Relate to the other person’s stories and share your experiences. This helps the other person to get to know you too.
  • After your conversation, jot down a few details to facilitate a follow-up conversation later. For instance, if your project manager talked about her children, write down the kids’ names, their school, etc.
  • Be careful not to pry too deep. Steer away from conversations on social or economic status, health, faith, and other personal details. Watch for gestures of discomfort when you ask questions.

Listening to people and getting to know them transforms your relationships: it helps you connect with people positively and discover shared values/interests. At a higher level, it demonstrates your caring for your people and helps you influence them or facilitate change, depending on the nature of your relationship with them.

Notes: Reference to Nancy Ortberg’s sermon via Guy Kawasaki of Garage Ventures and Rich Karlgaard of Forbes Magazine.