Right Attitudes » Ideas for Impact
» by Nagesh Belludi

During Q & A at a career-planning workshop that I led recently, a member of the audience asked me, “Where could I get the best education in life?” This article elaborates my response.

You learn best from imitating the techniques of the successful

“What the outstanding person does, others will try to do. The standards such people create will be followed by the whole world.”
* The Bhagavad Gita

The best way to educate yourself is by observing the top performers in every field and by identifying and applying their effectiveness techniques to your circumstances. Your inspiration may be somebody you interact with, somebody you can hear about in the media or a fictional character from a novel or movie.

Try to imitate the best performers in a discipline to be successful in that discipline. Study their educational and professional backgrounds, their work style, successes, and failures. Identify how they go about conducting their everyday affairs. Try to copy the stock picking and capital allocation skills of Warren Buffett to become a successful investor. Piggyback on the thinking of the best mutual fund managers; replicate their portfolios to benefit from their stock selection process.

Read about the techniques of Sherlock Holmes to improve your reasoning and problem-solving skills. Impersonate your favorite stand-up comedian ahead of a presentation or public speech to improve your delivery. Study the footprints of the leaders in your organization if you want to follow their lead.

Imitate different attributes of people you encounter every day: the cheerfulness of an administrative assistant, the persuasion skills of a seasoned negotiator, the resourcefulness of a car mechanic, and the dexterity of a customer service agent.

Role models are inspirational

Looking up to others is rather instinctive. As kids, you looked up to your siblings, parents, or family members. At work, you learn from observing your colleagues and bosses.

When we learn of role models, read their stories or watch of them on TV or in the movies, we identify in them a part of ourselves; we associate with their struggles and victories, their hopes and despairs.

When we identify with a role model who has accomplished what we seek yourselves, we not only learn from them but also become more confident in our abilities.

This technique has its limitations

Naturally, the influence of role models is neither always practical nor necessarily productive. Your perception of popular role models (sportsmen, artists, businesspeople and other celebrities) is often incomplete and based on cursory assessments of them. Media accounts of their trappings of wealth, fame, and success or their unseemly lifestyles can just as easily turn them into negative role models. Excesses and faults are as common in everyday life as they are in the news. Exercise judgment in what you identify and implement. Hence the corollary: Learn from the shortcomings of the unsuccessful.

Call for action

• When people make a positive impression on you, reflect on what they did and how they did to impress you. Explore what you can learn from them.
• Identify the top performers in your field. Seek to understand and adopt their techniques. Improve or tailor them to your personal circumstances and improve yourselves.
• Study the biographies and memoirs of your favorite historical leaders. Read news stories and case studies of people you admire. Learn their techniques.
• Think of personal and professional skills that you would like to improve upon. Identify one or two people in your organization who are especially skilled in these areas. Observe them or ask them for advice.

Learn everything you can from others, implement what appeals to you, and discard the rest.

Recommended Reading

• Warren Buffett’s rule of thumb on personal integrity
• John F Kennedy’s secret for keeping good eye contact
• Stephen King’s tips for writing better
• Jack Welch on the importance of acting quickly

***See other articles related to role models, skills for success, education, learning from mentors

The ‘SMART’ technique (see this excellent introduction) is a popular framework for effective goal setting. Generally, the acronym SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound requisites for goals. Some people use different denotations and variations; others use the expanded ‘SMARTER’ form or focus only on the measurable and time-bound (’MT’) characterization of goals.

Quite often, goals — even the SMART ones — fail to stimulate action beyond the initial burst of motivation. The simple reason for this slip is that goals tend to lack visibility for the “true ends.”

Make Your Goals Stick

A goal that lacks an underpinning of meaning and personal significance is likely to run out of steam. Therefore, a goal or resolution can be inspiring only when you can connect it to a larger purpose.

When you define any goal, identify its “true ends” — what benefits you expect to gain by successfully pursuing an idea or goal. For example,

• Instead of “Join a fitness center and workout every day,” try “Lose fifteen pounds by 6-June to drop a clothes-size and look and feel better at my best friend’s wedding.”
• Instead of “Reduce credit card debt,” try “Reduce expenses and pay off $12,000 in credit card debt in three months so that I can save $135 per month in interest fees.”
• Instead of “Attend fewer meetings,” try “Attend fewer meetings or delegate participation to reduce time at work and enjoy more quality time with family.”

Recognizing the true ends of your goals will sustain you through internal and external resistance to pursue your goals.

Recommended Reading

• Use the ‘10-Minute Dash’ to overcome procrastination
• Don’t Let ‘Perfect’ Be the Enemy of ‘Done’
• How hard you should work
• Think and perform like a CEO

***See other articles related to goals, aspirations, resolutions, ambition, dieting success, perspective

“Walton Ten-Foot Rule”

Sam Walton, Wal-Mart’s iconic founder and perhaps the most successful entrepreneur of his generation, showed considerable charisma, ambition, and drive from a very young age.

Sam was a committed student leader when he attended the University of Missouri, Columbia. One of the secrets to his reputation at college was that he would greet and speak to everybody he came across on the campus. And, he would address them by their name if he knew them. In a short time, he set off to make many friends and became well-liked. Small wonder, then, that Sam triumphed in nearly all the student elections he contested.

When Wal-Mart became sizeable enough, Sam realized that Wal-Mart could not just yet offer its customers lower prices than the other retail giants could. As part of his customer service strategy, he institutionalized the very trait that had helped him become popular when he was a student. He insisted on the “Walton Ten-Foot Rule.” According to the rule, when Wal-Mart associates (as Wal-Mart calls its employees) came within ten feet of customers, they were to smile, make eye contact, greet the customer, and offer assistance. As Wal-Mart grew, Sam added greeters who would greet customers at the door (and control ’shrinkage’/shoplifting.) Even today, the Ten-Foot Rule continues to be part of the Wal-Mart culture.

Likeability — A Predictor to Success

Likeability is an important predictor to success in life. Some people seem naturally endowed with appealing personalities. They tend to complement their aptitudes by being personable and graceful, by presenting themselves well, and by possessing the social skills for every occasion. They tend to win others over effortlessly. At school and college, they are their teachers’ favorites and get chosen by their peers to represent their classes. They get invited to the right kind of parties and gatherings, and live the life of these parties. At work, they are persuasive; they get noticed and quickly climb the corporate ladder.

From my observations of the traits of the talented and successful, I offer you a few reminders to help you become more personable, develop rapport, and thus maximize your chance of success.

• Look people in their eyes. Smile. Greet them by their names.
• Listen. Speak with a pleasant tone of voice. Speak in a positive manner. Show respect. Indeed, even your adversaries have some admirable characteristics.
• Show genuine interest in others. Try to build a rapport by sharing something about yourself with them.
• Say “Please,” “Sorry,” and “Thank you.” Offer a kind word. Compliment them. Do not flatter.
• Consider the other’s perspectives and perceive his/her circumstances before disagreeing.
• Practice compassion. Make a sincere effort to help others.
• Do not overdo any of the above. Try your best. Do not please others at the expense of your own sanity — stay true to your values, principles, and happiness.

Recommended Reading

• What the deaf can teach us about listening
• How to overcome shyness in initiating conversations
• Keeping good eye contact
• Overcoming the temptation to please
• The power of genuine interest in others

***See other articles related to customer service, likeability, charisma, popularity, personality development, self-confidence, inter-personal relationships

While we are on the topic of clothing and appearance, this is a little pet peeve of mine.

Wearing white socks with black shoes is a style faux pas.

Why fuss over something trivial, you might ask. True, socks are less conspicuous than most other elements of your clothing. However, wearing an unaesthetic combination or, worse, the wrong kind of socks can attract attention. Remember that in matters of clothing and demeanor, the devil is in the details. When it comes to dressing for an important event, no element is trivial enough to overlook.

A few broad guidelines are in order.

• Generally, match the color of your socks to that of your shoes.
• Avoid light-colored socks with dark shoes. In particular, avoid wearing white socks with black shoes. Men should also avoid pastel and flesh-toned socks.
• Prefer darker socks. If you own an assortment of black, blue-black, and dark brown socks, be careful when matching socks into pairs. When you are indoors or under low light, you may inadvertently mismatch socks and wind up wearing one each of two different dark colors. (This happened to me when I was heading to an interview a few years ago. Luckily, I had enough time to stop at a store and buy a new pair of socks.)
• For dress wear, your best bet is to own a collection of plain, black, vertically ribbed socks. Dress socks should be thinner than athletic socks. If you want to try patterned socks, let the patterns be simple and subtle.
• Use white socks only with white athletic shoes, shorts, track pants and other active gear. Select darker socks with dark colored athletic shoes.
• For casual wear, say while wearing khakis or jeans, white socks are acceptable if you are wearing white athletic shoes. Black socks are just as acceptable.
• You may wear striped socks, holiday-themed socks or socks with your favorite cartoon or Disney characters only for relaxed occasions or when indoors.
• Buy socks that are long enough to cover a good portion of your calves. When you sit down or cross legs, you should not display any skin between your socks and pants.
• Wear ankle socks only with shorts.
• Choose socks made of wool or cotton. These materials breathe well and absorb moisture better.
• Do not wear socks with sandals or slippers.
• After each wash, make sure that your socks are in good condition. Avoid the embarrassment of having to remove your shoes in front of others only to find that your socks have holes in them.

More on Etiquette and Clothing

• Dress sharply and look neat to boost your self-confidence
• Protocol of introducing people to one another
• The art of remembering names
• Meal Manners: Pace yourself, start and finish with others

***See other articles related to Lifestyle, clothing and appearance, body language, decorum, etiquette, demeanor

The ‘Axe Effect’

Consider the following ‘news’ story (possibly a spoof) from a few weeks ago.

Vaibhav Bedi of India sued Unilever, the Anglo-Dutch consumer goods conglomerate, for “depression and psychological damage” caused by letdown from the ‘Axe Effect.’ Vaibhav believed in ads that showed attractive women throwing themselves at men who use the Axe brand of deodorants. “I used it for seven years but no girl came to me,” he said in his complaint accusing the manufacturer of false advertising.

False advertising? Hardly. The ‘Axe Effect’ often works. Clothing, cosmetics and lifestyle companies sell more than merchandise — they sell means of boosting a consumer’s self-confidence. Studies have shown that when men and women improve their appearances, they feel more self-assured. Naturally, charm and self-assurance are very appealing characteristics. As a result, others pay confident people more attention, seek their company and value their opinions. Individuals who are perceived as attractive stand a better chance at winning others over, securing jobs and promotions, and benefit from better career prospects.

Clothes Talk, People Listen

It is possible through the skilful manipulation of dress in any particular situation to evoke a favourable response to your positioning and your needs.
* John T Molloy, Source: ‘New Dress for Success’

Attractiveness is not the only thing others judge you on, but it is generally an important subliminal consideration. Attractiveness encompasses clothing and accessories, tidiness and grooming, physical appearance and posture, flair, mannerisms, personality and other traits. Of these attributes, your clothing style is the easiest to improve.

Look, the clothes you put on effect how you feel throughout the day. Your awareness of yourself has a considerable impact on how others perceive you. By dressing sharply and looking neat, you can become more self-assured and attractive. Follow the following four simple guidelines. Seek suggestions from a tailor at a clothing store in your neighbourhood or a mall.

• Research and adopt a dress style that is appropriate to your industry, place of work and social circle. Observe the dress styles of successful professionals and executives in your company/industry.
• Conform but choose a distinctive wardrobe that projects the impression you desire. Dress for the position to which you aspire.
• Choose clothes that are comfortable and make you feel good about yourself.
• Err on the side of conservative styles and darker shades. Simple and classic is often reasonably priced and sophisticated enough.

Recommended Reading

• Be mindful of personal spaces for social interaction
• Tricks for keeping good eye contact
• 7-38-55 rule of personal communication
• The twelve most persuasive words in English

***See other articles related to Lifestyle, clothing and appearance, body language, decorum, etiquette, demeanour, persuasion, self-confidence

1. Divide and conquer. Break up large projects into smaller tasks. If you think a task will take less than five minutes, get it done right away. If you can reply to an email in less than two minutes, reply immediately and file or delete the incoming email.
2. Fight procrastination. One of the easiest ways to fight procrastination is to focus on starting your task. Commit to your task for just ten minutes. Avoid distractions and interruptions and continue to work for just ten minutes. By the end of the ten minutes, you probably get absorbed in the tasks, build momentum and can choose to continue working towards completion.
3. Put things in their place. Designate a place at your home and office for everything — your keys, wallet, watch, clothes, electronic gadgets and all personal effects. Always put each item in its proper place. Being orderly prevents you from anxiously searching for these belongings the next time you want to use them.
4. Create checklists for all tasks. Consider preparing checklists for everything from cleaning the home to packing for travel. Checklists help you remember everything critical and thus reduce the persistent worry of forgetting something important.
5. Start planning your day on the prior day. Before you leave office or before you go to bed, plan the next day and prepare a ‘To Do’ list. Check your calendar for meetings, deadlines and commitments. In addition, put out everything you need the night before. Planning ahead not only helps you start the next day with purpose, but also gets things off your mind. You can thus enjoy your time away or sleep better.
6. Pick up after yourself and clean your home and workspace. From time to time, glance through all areas of your home and office for things that are out of place. Tidy up before the clutter gets out of hand. Use the wastebasket liberally. Realize that mess leads to stress.
7. Maintain a ‘On-The-Go’ folder. When you receive your copy of a subscription magazine, tear out all the articles that interest you and dispose of the rest of the magazine. Maintain an “on-the-go” folder and file such articles. Take this folder wherever you go and read these articles during transition times — when you wait for a doctor’s appointment or when your flight is delayed at an airport. Review this folder frequently and toss out everything that is older than six months.

Recommended Reading

• Self-assessment Quiz: how stressed are you?
• The “10-minute Dash” technique to overcoming procrastination
• You have a pile of reading material at your desk?
• Everyday reflections for effective time management
• Seven habits to beat Monday morning blues

***See other articles related to time management, personal organization, productivity, stress management, getting things done, work-life balance

A common mistake we make in giving feedback to others is that we tend to defer corrective (negative) feedback. We put off criticism until the problem escalates or, as managers, wait until the employee’s performance review discussions. This predisposition is often rooted in the fear that negative feedback will offend the other and thus affect our rapport with the other.

Yahoo! CEO Carol Bartz offers a ‘puppy theory’ on timing feedback:

I have the puppy theory. When the puppy pees on the carpet, you say something right then because you don’t say six months later, “Remember that day, January 12th, when you peed on the carpet?” That doesn’t make any sense. “This is what’s on my mind. This is quick feedback.”

Immediate Feedback is Most Useful

I have previously discussed that effective feedback has three aspects: (1) initiate a personal conversation and make sure the other is ready to hear it, (2) explain his behavior, and, (3) help him understand the consequences of his behavior.

Do not neglect or defer feedback. Address problems while they are small. Immediate feedback ensures that the other accepts your feedback, understands his behavior and attempts to correct.

Recommended Reading

• Sandwich feedback technique and why it is ineffective
• Manager Tools’ feedback model
• Six steps to appreciate people
• Any excuses for not complimenting your people

***See other articles related to giving feedback, criticism, manager skills, interpersonal skills, praise

A.G. Lafley on the Unique Work of CEOs

In this article (PDF of full article) in the May 2009 issue of the Harvard Business Review, Proctor & Gamble’s Chairman and outgoing CEO, A.G. Lafley reflects on the unique responsibilities of CEOs. What makes this article engaging is that A.G. Lafley uses the context of his commendable achievements at the helm of Proctor & Gamble to elaborate on the teachings of management guru Peter Drucker.

“The CEO is the link between the inside and outside. He alone experiences the meaningful outside at an enterprise level and is responsible for understanding it, interpreting it, advocating for it, and presenting it so that the company can respond in a way that enables sustainable sales, profit and total shareholder return (TSR) growth.”

Drawing from Peter Drucker’s teachings, A.G. Lafley identifies the four fundamental tasks of a CEO. Here is a summary:

1. Defining and interpreting the meaningful ‘outside.’ Identifying which external stakeholders matter the most. Recognizing where results are most meaningful. Clarifying and communicating the priority of external stakeholders.
2. Identifying and focusing on the competitive spaces where the organization can win. Inquiring, “What is our business? What should it be? What is not our business? And what should it not be?”
3. Balancing the present and the future. Determining the optimum balance between yield from present activities and investment in a highly uncertain future. This involves, (1) defining realistic growth goals, (2) creating a flexible budgeting process, and (3) allocating human resources in a way that identifies and develops good people for today and tomorrow.
4. Shaping the values and standards of the organization. Winning with those who matter most and against the very best.

Think like a CEO, Focus on Organizational Performance

I believe that everybody is a CEO. Whatever your span of responsibilities — supervisory, managerial or leadership — you are accountable to the external stakeholders. These stakeholders measure you purely by your ability to identify opportunities and get things done through the resources you have. Here are five essential initiatives to help you think and act like a CEO.

1. Understand the context of your organization or project. Change your perception away from the minutiae of your organization and seek to understand what your organization means in the broader context and how it fits into the external world. Draw from this external perspective to establish the right directions and align the work of your entire organization with these organizational goals. Differentiate between short-term and long-term opportunities.
2. Identify the primary external customers — these could be higher-level managers, other groups within your company or a consumer who uses your products. Use this customer standpoint to make every strategic decision and choose the right actions. Connect each initiative to its beneficial results to your customers.
3. Communicate your direction and priorities to your organization. Help your employees determine where to focus their own efforts and how they eventually fit in the broader context of the external world.
4. Focus on execution and achieving results. Introduce a culture of accountability. Ensure that each employee actually does live up to the values and goals of the organization.
5. Coach your employees and develop them. Understand and align their personal values and aspirations to those of the organization, to the extent possible. Per Peter Drucker, “make sure that the performing people are allocated to opportunities rather than only to ‘problems.’ … Make sure that people are placed where their strengths can become effective.” Plan for succession.

Recommended Reading

• Procter and Gamble: One of the world’s best breeding grounds for managers
• How to broaden your thinking and grow on your job
• Jack Welch’s four types of managers
• Jack Welch on acting quickly

***See other articles related to Peter Drucker, Proctor & Gamble, organizational leadership, executives, CEO, leadership skills

Brad Feld on Work-Life Balance

Here is an excellent podcast (summary here) where Venture Capitalist Brad Feld discusses his thoughts on the concept of work-life balance. He also shares the changes he implemented to achieve more balance in his life. Also, see a previous article by Brad on this very topic. Here are key takeaways:

• The sense of busyness is not the same as the sense of achievement.
• Balance is an important issue to consider at all ages, as many make the mistake in believing they will “get the balance on the back half of life” and find it shorter than they hoped (”you don’t know when the lights are going to go out (when you are going to die.)”)
• Work-life balance is an important issue to everyone, yet each person’s approach will be different. There is no one-size fits all approach.

Work-Life Balance is an Individual Choice

Balancing the various demands on our time is by no means easy. It is unrealistic to establish a ratio between ‘work’ and ‘play’ time to pursue the sense of balance.

Balance is an individual choice you have to make based on your personal and professional values and associate relative priorities between these values. Here are five essential guidelines to make such choices.

• Don’t become a slave to your work. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Work is a means of living, it is not life itself.”
• Slow down your life and develop mindfulness. Simplify your life and inculcate discipline. Focus on the simple things. Control your wants and meet your core needs.
• Talk to your family and friends and explore ways to introduce more fun into your daily routine.
• Sleep more. Help around the home. Go on more vacations. Cultivate a hobby or two. Volunteer for a good cause. Do something meaningful with your spare time.
• Learn to control how you react to other people and their demands on your time, money, or both. Consider the cost on your own resources and become skilled at how to refuse unimportant demands.

Realizing the balance in your life is your prerogative.

Recommended Reading

• My three-step process for better time management: time logging, time analysis and time budgeting.
• Fighting Procrastination: ‘Ten-Minute Dash’ technique
• Working exercise into a busy day

***See other articles related to happiness, time management, managing priorities, effectiveness, personal organization, getting things done, execution, work-life balance

Blogger Carla Kay White reflects on how she “found time” by transforming her mindset about being overwhelmed.

… it occurred to me that I’m feeling overwhelmed because that’s precisely the message I’m putting out in the world. I repeat it all day long in different forms “I have no time…” or “I wish I could, but I’m busy…” or “gotta rush…”

But what would happen if I simply told myself, “I have all the time in the world”?

I repeated this to myself anytime I felt rushed. Someone stopped me to chat, I had time. Working late, no problem. Caught behind a slow driver, I chilled and enjoyed the view. In the end it actually worked. I created time.

By sending out a new message “I have time” I’m relaxing, finding a new rhythm and living in the moment. I’m focusing on one thing at a time instead of ten different things. As a result, I get more accomplished, do a better job, and truly do have more time.

So if you constantly feel overwhelmed, ask yourself — are you really? Or is it just a conditional thought that you repeated so often to yourself, you believe it and live it? Just maybe you too can magically create time through your thoughts.

How to Create More Time

The feeling of being overwhelmed is primarily a lack of sense of priority over what we need to do. Follow my three-step process for better time management.

• Time Logging: Follow this simple exercise to develop an idea of how you spend time currently.
• Time Analysis: Tally up your time logs, analyze how you actually use your time, and recognize non-productive tasks and activities.
• Time Budgeting: Follow this simple process to list your life’s values and priorities. Then, create a time budget to help you center your actions on the truly important aspects of your life and career.

Recommended Reading

• Don’t let ‘perfect’ be the enemy of ‘done’
• Overcoming procrastination: the “10-minute dash” technique to get a task going
• Make your weekends feel longer

***See other articles related to time management, managing priorities, effectiveness, personal organization, getting things done, execution, work-life balance